A little backstory; Until about 8 months ago, I had no party chief experience. I started working for a company with the intent of training directly under the RPLS and running field operations by myself, albeit with close supervision and help when needed (which turns out to be often).
I have enjoyed the work, and it has been an excellent learning experience. I have been running a one-man crew using RTK and Trimble Robotics almost since the day I started. The equipment is not a problem for me, I'm familiar with it. It's the procedures and general surveying knowledge that I'm lacking.
Before I go on, let me say that I respect this RPLS greatly. He has been in the business for 40+ years and has forgotten more than I even know. He is a fine surveyor and does not compromise or cut corners. However, he can be incredibly abrasive, even downright condescending at times. It is becoming difficult to come to work knowing I'm practically guaranteed to get chewed out at least three times a week, typically for things I have no prior knowledge of or experience with, and then apologized to almost immediately thereafter. Regardless of apologies after the fact, I still get chewed out.
I am not shirking my culpability, I have admittedly made mistakes that were easily avoided, but I cannot foresee or control everything. I feel that I'm held to a higher standard than I'm currently capable of, and I was hired with the full disclosure that I have never led a crew and that I do not have the full skillset/knowledge base as of yet to do so.
My conundrum is this: I love the company. I like the people. It is a small business with a close-knit group of employees, and I love that environment. But it is becoming increasingly stressful to even come to work, wondering every morning if I will get reamed again and what for. I had my first anxiety attack in five years this morning while wondering those very things. I thought I had my anxiety under control a long time ago. So now I'm beginning to feel that not only is this job becoming increasingly stressful, it's becoming unhealthy for me and affecting my life at home as well.
It just seemed like such an ideal opportunity to learn and work alongside an RPLS, and gain critical experience in the field of surveying. Should I cut my losses and take a step back to an I-man or Rodman elsewhere or try to fight it out?
Only getting chewed out 3 times a week? Sheesh, sounds like a real teddy bear compared to the guys who mentored me! Stick it out.
-JD-
>> However, he can be incredibly abrasive, even downright condescending at times.
And nobody knows that better than him, which is why he apologizes. Stick with him and learn, every day you don't get chewed out is a good day and every day you do will make the next better.
If you know this is the way the guy is why do you let it get to you? If he chews you out and then promptly apologizes he probably just doesn't have much patience or has a bad temper but either way once he thinks about he realizes he was wrong. It certainly is not right for him to act this way and I would not treat my employees that way but they key if you want to stick it out is to not let it get you. I have worked for various people over the years. The ones that are always complaining you learn to tune them out. It is the ones that never complain and then they do and you know you screwed up.
Next time he throws a fit just shrug your shoulders and say you will do better next time while on the inside you are ignoring him. Fifteen minutes later after he apologizes it will be like it never happened.
It sounds like it is becoming a problem for you, and maybe he has concerns also. I'd suggest sitting down with the LS and having a frank, honest discussion. Nothing beats a face to face sit-down meeting. If that fails to alleviate your worries/stress, I guess you have your solution. No job is worth damaging your health or family relations. Good luck.
My Dad was my mentor. I was the only one of the four sons that stayed in Surveying. My brothers used to say they didn't know how I worked with "the old man". Dad was tough. REALLY tough most of the time. I was always held to a higher standard than the other crew members. He was old school and was bound and determined that I was going to learn the same way. I went to work every day knowing that he would find fault in something I did. It really bothered me for a long time. One day I decided that I was going to learn all I could and ignore the tongue lashings if possible. My goal was to only get chewed out four days a week. Then three and so forth. I had to be on the ball and EARN his respect. To my surprise, once he saw the improvement he lightened up. Try not to give up because if you're ever on your own, your clients and their neighbors can be tougher than you can imagine now. You'll be thankful for the thick skin you acquired under your boss.
Me. "What's the difference?"
T.C. Carroll "It's the difference between right and wrong!"
Been there. I don't know your whole story. Do you have the foundation in your education and experience to be comfortable taking responsible charge? Have you skipped some of the steps to get to that level? Someone who doesn't have the foundation and experience to party chief will quickly find themselves in over their head with terribly stressful results. It takes time and mentoring and not everyone is cut out for it. If this is something you truly love and want to pursue, take some time to do an honest self analysis of your abilities and level of proficiency and ask yourself if your really ready to PC. Don't take everything personally, some of the best surveyors I've ever worked for and learned from could be some real screamers with little patience at times. If you find your not ready and lacking confidence, there is no harm in falling back to identify your weaknesses and work on them until you feel you are ready. If you're determined, then nothing will stop you, but you must have patience grasshopper, mostly with yourself. Most of the time I've found that our worst enemy is ourselves.
Good luck and don't waste your time with any of that self pity stuff. Life's too short. B-)
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.
It may be easy to forget that you are in the driver's seat of your life. Whatever decision you make is under your complete control, which is something I find encouraging. I'll agree with Williwaw that self-pity is of little use, but I don't think you are indulging that vice here.
Remember that what you can take and what you will take should be two different things. I haven't met many successful people who were willing to repeatedly take beratement and abuse (though all were willing to take thoughtful criticism).
Something else I have observed is that, all other things being equal, these extremely abrasive types have a difficult time networking, holding on to clients, and keeping turnover low among their employees. I think you can find something better. Do you really think this is the best you can do?
It helps if you understand the psychology behind it:
People who have high self-esteem will go to you and have a rational discussion. They will start off with kind words, then gently lay out the problem.
People with low self-esteem will start off with bluster and harsh words because they think they need the edge before they can talk to you. They have to first knock you down to their level before they are comfortable. When that happens immediately remember that he is emotionally inferior and in that respect you have the upper hand.
Or you can walk. That's what I'd do, because he isn't capable of changing, while you are. If you find yourself staring in the bathroom mirror trying to get up the courage to go to work, the job isn't worth it. Bail out.
Don't sweat it. It's only words. If you try to do a good job, that's all you can do. You cant make people like you. Stick it out. Sounds like you'll be there longer than him. I used to lose sleep a night worrying about something I did wrong...but... I'm still here. They're only words. Brush them off and move on. There's more important things in life.
LOL, Pop psychology at it's worst!
Maybe the guy is just gruff and impatient and not quite an "inferior" 🙂
Stick it out. If he's as responsible and intelligent as you say, your experience with him is worth the teeth marks.
I find myself getting short with employees from time to time. I get frustrated because it's usually been 40 years since I've made the same mistake they made. Sometimes us old guys forget just how long it took us to get here. I bet his apologies are sincere.
Arthritis, bunions and a prostate the size of a grapefruit can put us old guys in a bad mood without any external stimuli. :pinch:
Another thought on this in addition to the good ones already received...
Did you ever think that he sees more potential in you than anyone else and expects more from you? Not meant to excuse his behavior but definitely think about it. He may be just as frustrated with himself for not mentoring you enough as much as he is with you.
It might be helpful to let us know specifically what you are getting chewed out for. That might be the key to not getting chewed out as much.
:good:
HE'S NOT WORTH IT...............
I think you can talk until you're blue in the face, but you are not going to change your supervisor's personality.
If you cannot gut it out and you continue to have extreme difficulty with this person, either let your own family life go to hell or find another supervisor/company.
What I'll tell you is that (A) you're not asking the right questions. When you get chewed out, figure out what you did wrong, then go to the old man and ask him how to get better and that (B) when/if you start doing this, you're gonna get better.
Also, when the butt chewings quit or get less, ask the old man if he's sick or something.
BTW, the guy who chewed me out was my dad. If I screwed up at work, I got it there and at home.
When I started putting it all together, they seemed to let up a bunch. Now he asks me if he can leave early. 🙂
second that