At my wit's end... Need advice

Exactly. Google: Freakonomics Radio The Upside of Quitting

Changed my thought patterns for life.

Vern is right on target.... Bullies do not apologize. It would be wrong to characterize every boss who chewed on a subordinate as a bully. Yes some are, but probably a minority.

I am an RPLS in Denton and I personally would take exception (ask him what the problem was) with another RPLS in our firm treating any employee in such a manner. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I was the senior survey tech at a firm some years back and had worked with such an individual for years.
Often party chiefs who knew my long association with this person asked me how I was able to work with him. I always told them, "He's an a-hole, once you understand that, it is possible to work with them." A week later, the guys would come back and say, "you know what, you were right." Knowing that others see someone in the same light is soothing in a way.
Just remember, brother surveyor, that you have value in this profession. Any man that can run a GPS rig by himself without the years of surveying experience that is usually involved is a benefit to whatever company he chooses for employment. The responsibilities of a party chief are another thing altogether (as you are learning). It sounds like you can get where you need to be as long as you don't give up. And once you have attained a certain position in surveying it is not good to revert back to an instrument person.

Wife-beaters generally apologize to their wives as far as I understand. Maybe he's a wife-beater.o.O

Everyone's different to an extent, and if I am constantly bullied by someone who has power over me and the ability to fire me at will, I might get intimidated. I used to, but hopefully am over that by now and can stand up to them. Whether you classify him as a bully, hothead, or some other term, he is causing anxiety over an employee from whom he wants to get good work from. He needs to learn to treat his help differently, or he will constantly be going through hired help and having to train new personnel over and over again, until he dies of a heart attack.

In my opinion, you need to treat your employees with respect and expect hard work and respect in return. (for Kent if your monitoring this, my disclaimer: I am not a business owner, and I understand if business owners have to work under a different supervisory model. 😉 )

Story

> Back in the early days of my career I was working for a company in Bellingham, Washington. I was the newly hired helper to a PC who had a rep for having an explosive temper. I had been warned that I would be expected to put up with a certain amount of his ..stuff. His last helper had quit abruptly. Now, I started surveying a little late in life, so I'd already been around a few of his type in other jobs, but I don't mind saying that it was getting a bit thick after only a few weeks.
>
> One fine spring day we went to a new subdivision to as-built the sanitary and storm manholes for as-builts. We had one of the other rodman -whose name was also Mark - along to help. Mark and I would flip the lids and do the dips, calling out the pipe sizes, types, and directions, and dips. Tom, the PC, was in the van taking the notes.
>
...
[/SNIP]

Since I've worked in Bellingham for about ten years now, this is worth researching so to speak... Thanks for the story.

Thanks, guys

You won't get anywhere with talking to him. He's not going to change. You will probably end up jobless. Line up something elsewhere and then tell him that you are moving on. I've known 5 people that work for the man you are talking about and they've been down that exact path. It's not a fun one to walk. Good luck.

What an interesting thread this has become.
I have worked for/with some very unsavory fellers.
One feller was vile in all kinds of ways I can't describe them here lest Wendell or Angel would get on me.
One day he, Wayne, had me so mad I was about to kill him - literally. He didn't seem to mind to cuss him back. Sometimes he was super fine and fun to be around. He was/is serious diabetic and had already lost a leg and several toes. Me and a buddy were building/remodeling his house. He fed us lunch and drinks without a thought. Come Friday, he'd write me a check and strap on his fake leg to go to the bank to cash. "Eric, you're driving. Help me get my leg on." Those were always fun rides - really they were fun. He was a totally different person. I could b...tch at him for his tirades during the week and we could laugh about it. I told him about he day I was about to kill him and he thought I was joking.
I asked why he's on my a$$ so much and he said something about I wasn't living up to my potential given my education and such. (true)
A couple weeks later I got a job offer at an engineering firm and took it. Went over to his house that night to tell him I wouldn't be coming back. He was more excited about it than I was. Geees, you'd think I was his kid but he was 10 years my younger.
Telling me about how proud he was and stuff.

Hope he's still alive. I don't have a phone number to call him. I still know a few people in the area that might could tell me.

I wish you the best PDOP. It's a tough spot I don't wish to be in again.
E

Does he sign your check?

.

Litmus test?

Here is the last litmus test.

Ask yourself "What would John Wayne do?", then do it.

Hope things work out for the better regardless.

Having been a person like this "bully" it's hard to pin point the cause. I was in a position where I couldn't change much about the crews but had all the responsibilty for any of their screw ups. After taking butt chewings day after day from the partners, accounting, other project managers and clients for some pretty absent minded mistakes,it works on you till one day they screw up something minor and you just go off on them. I didn't usually chew out the screw ups, I'd given up on them. I usually would go after the ones I depended on, the ones you count on not to make stupid mistakes. I'd always call them into my office and shut the door, their butt chewings were private. I'd alway try to include some ways to avoid the situations in the future after I had calmed down but made sure they knew that what they had done cost everybody money. I'd say something like "sorry I had to yell at you but don't do something stupid like that again and we'll be ok". Must not have hurt anyones feeling that bad cause I'd always get asked out for beer on Friday by a couple of my PCs. But then again, the good ones were like me, we could have knock down, drag out disagreements and then one of us would ask where we were going for lunch. Eventually I just gave up giving a crap, then I relized I'd better move on before I was just collecting a check like I'd acussed many others of doing. Nice thing is I haven't felt the need to yell at anyone (except a few clients) since I left.

Hi GB,what part(paht) of LI,NY are you from? I am from Hempstead,born in Bethel hospital,East Flatbush,Brooklyn. Thanks
Mike Burkes
626-833-1521

Story

I was working for PSE. I don't think Mark is still surveying. His ambition was to become an EMT, which I think he eventually did. Tom was in his mid 50's, smoked like a chimney, lived on gas station hot dogs, and called golf exercise. He couldn't possibly still be above ground level.

Hempstead!

(Apologies for a quick hijack at Mike.)

I drove a taxicab in Hempstead in the early 70s! Small world. 🙂

Litmus test?

I better watch "The Fighting Kentuckian" and make sure and get that down. Who is it we're emulating again? Oliver Hardy or John Wayne. 😉

:good:

East End