I had someone ask if I was going to cut down their tree.?ÿ I remember the question seeming ridiculous at the time because all I could think was what in the hell is giving these people the impression that I'm a lumberjack?!
I have 2 favorites:
In2009, the "four corners" story about being "off" came out and was reported in numerous papers including Colorado. I was standing with my GPS rover on grand lake Co about 9 hours drive from four corners.
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A guy drove up to me and asked "did you guys get this town wrong too?"
In the 1980s as an instrument man I had a crew chief with a surveying associates degree whom, like many of us, was hard wired about good measurement,?ÿ not real focused on the legal art of surveying.
I set him out his coordinate, he went to the truck, got the crowbar out, and started pulling a spike out of the asphalt a few inches away. The landowner burst out of his house and asked the crew chief "@##$%&@@##!!!! To my property corner??"
"It's in the wrong place" my crew chief explained. We packed and left as we were told.
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"Ma'am, that is a very interesting offer.?ÿ But, first, look out this window at that old catalpa tree with a hole in it about three feet off the ground.?ÿ See all those honeybees coming and going.?ÿ Tell you what.?ÿ I'm going to go out and put my talliwacker in that hole for five minutes.?ÿ Then, and only then, will I start considering your offer."
Talliwacker!! I'm dying!!?ÿ IMO, that might be the funniest scene ever in movies!?ÿ I probably shouldn't have been watching Porky's that young but parents were different back then.?ÿ?ÿ
Early on when I went out for a topo, I generally did not know the end product. I liked it better that way. Of course, in those situations any neighbors that paid attention knew exactly what was going on. The best is when there is one of those white signs up that literally describes the project. If they went over and read it, and called the numbers, they would know far more than I knew (or cared to know).
Even when they "know" what the project is, it doesn't help. I can remember at least a handful of cases where letters had to be sent out to landowners explaining that water, and not violent convicts, was what was going to be housed in a detention pond.
Ha, I've been asked in for coffee, lunch, and beer, by various women over the years when surveying, but never anything about fathering any children
An older woman once made me and my second eat a slice of pie. It was raining cats and dogs and we had 15 layers and boots and all the rest, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.
Underground airport.?ÿ Now that got attention.
Andy
@dmyhill?ÿ
That took me back to about 1987.?ÿ I was renting some cattle pasture from a nice old couple.?ÿ Once each month I would show up to deliver a rent check and then spend the next hour as their guest with snacks and drink and great storytelling.?ÿ It was a pleasant experience but I had to make sure to only go when I could spare that hour.?ÿ They were lonely and craved the interaction with another human.
In the past, I've answered the "What are you surveying for" question with variations of new WalMart, Amazon Distribution Center, sewage treatment plant, etc.
Lately, my go to answer is "I don't get paid if I don't". That is normally followed by a blank stare as the questioner processes my answer, and they either laugh or huff and move on with their day. Sometimes they'll get pissy, but that is pretty rare.
About 10 years ago I purchased a farm that is at one edge of a town that last had a post office in 1957.?ÿ It was at an auction, so everyone knew I had purchased it before I made it home from the auction.?ÿ Late one afternoon, my wife and I erected a very large sign saying:?ÿ COMING SOON
?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿ ?ÿWAL-MART
Somewhat similar story?ÿ
One cold day 20 years or so ago I split my paints from the crotch down to the knees. Tied it up with flagging to keep working. At the end of the day I knocked on my clients door to let her know I was done. She had me come in and sit down. Served me milk and cookies while we chatted. Milk was very sour. She asked about my pants and felt bad that I had ripped them on her fence. She had me take them off right there and started sewing them up.?ÿ
So as I'm sitting there in my tighty whitees at the kitchen chair eating milk and cookies in walks her sister. She doesnt even blink an eye. Introduces herself and takes the sewing away from her sister and does it herself.
Now before you think I hit the jackpot here is the rest of the story.
Well okay both were in their 80's and deeply religious. They had lived most of their life on a hard working farm and never married. Were well use to mending working clothes and it was as common to them as could be to have a man eating lunch in the kitchen while getting his clothes fixed.
I reserve my standard smart Alec response to the afrontted somewhat perturbed nosy busy bodies...
" What are you doing(huff)?"
response: "My Job, and I'm busy so I'm sorry I can't talk right now...."
the furthermore and slightly more Affronting with indignant tone:
"Can I help you!??!??(slight anxiety and anger mix)
response:?ÿ (Depends on the location and timbre of the situation)
1. Sure!?ÿ There's a 50lb box of 60D nails in my truck, if you could run and grab that, it would really help me out here...'
2.(Tired, exhausted, and over the stupid for the day...)
Um, maybe.Are you OSHA HAZWOPR 40 HR certified? If not, you're not trained up for the hazards I'm working with and need to evacuate immediately in the direction you just came from...."
3. (Friday) Sure thing, do you know how to set up and run a robotic total station? If you do, I'll consider this your final interview and make a decision today.
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Great story.?ÿ Probably almost as great as the story you told your wife when you got home and she saw your pants had been repaired by someone else. ???¦ ???¦?ÿ
@jitterboogie When I hear "Can I help you" I almost always answer, "No I've got it under control."?ÿ It usually irritates them as much as they're irritating me.?ÿ I'll have to switch it up and use a couple of your responses.
feel free to elaborate and utilize at will.
again, the context and personnel can change the outcomes and expected results so use them judiciously. don't donate any blood or get lead copper poisoning.....
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While in the office, trying to crank out some office work, most of the telephone calls begin with "How much does it cost......?"
@bill93 haha I agree with you! ??????
30 years ago.?ÿ I was about to drive my rebar when the elderly lady to south demanded to know what we were doing.?ÿ I politely informed her that we were surveying the platted lot (1857) of her neighbor to the north and I was marking their SW corner and her NW corner.?ÿ After the usual "Who" and "Why" which I never answer except for "You need to talk to your neighbor. I'm not sure."?ÿ This position fell about 4.5' south of an existing woven wire fence that clearly encroached.?ÿ I asked about the fence and she said her late husband had built it on the line.?ÿ Well this area is very old and there are only minor discrepancies in N-S position in the "old town." I asked if she knew the size of her lot and indignantly she answered "50 feet".?ÿ Correct as that is the platted distance?ÿ (minor occasional proration).?ÿ Like a good attorney I already new the answer to what was about to happened next.?ÿ (old school taping up and down the block with Keel, checking the evidence)?ÿ I said "ok, here is a measuring tape."?ÿ I rolled it out to 50'.?ÿ "I'll hold 50' on the fence and you take the end of the tape and walk south on the old sidewalk and let's see where that comes out."?ÿ She agreed that that sounded reasonable.?ÿ When the slack ran out, the end jumped from her hand.?ÿ She glared at me. Bend down, picked the end up and pulled hard.?ÿ I didn't budge.?ÿ She looked East to see that this came to very near the south side of her house. I announced "50 feet!".?ÿ She stared at the location for a few seconds, threw the end of the tape down, walked to the porch stairs and went in the house without saying another word.?ÿ When it comes to platted areas the moral is:?ÿ The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away.
Employed that very tactic in Severy one day.?ÿ The lot was 90 feet, which the adjoiner knew.?ÿ He was occupying roughly 115 feet.?ÿ He was furious.
Why did you pound that metal bar through my cat's grave?
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"When surveyor's show up where I'm from back east it means that a development is going up. Is that what you do?"
"Not me, I'm de-subdividing."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I'm working for a family buying up smaller places and making a big place."
"That's terrible!!!"
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You can't win.?ÿ