Ring Ring

"It should take a couple hours.."

And you design should cost $500.   Love when others want to tell me what my services should cost.

Tell him he is hired. And since he can do these surveys so quickly you have a few other jobs you would like him to do.

When I get these kinds of calls, I just about want to say: sorry, I'm not going to be able to help you...

Invoice:

Topographic Survey

2 "Client Hours" @ $1,500/hour

Total Due $3,000.00

I once had an engineer wanting me to mark a rather lengthy easement through the woods by a State park, so I work up an estimate which he was agreeable with.  Later that day he called asking if I would locate every tree over 6 inches within 15' either side of the centerline, for no extra.  He seemed very offended that I would actually have to revise the estimate.

@james-fleming

Nailed it!  

He seemed very offended that I would actually have to revise the estimate.

I get these kinds of clients, every once in a while. It's called scope creep.

I just need a boundary; later, can you add the house location, utilities, and other site features?

I'm sorry; you're going to need to find someone else...

@flga-2-2 

The Graybeard engineer retired and a few weeks later the Big Machine broke down, which was essential to the company’s revenue.  The Manager couldn’t get the machine to work again so the company called in Graybeard as an independent consultant.

Graybeard agrees. He walks into the factory, takes a look at the Big Machine, grabs a sledge hammer, and whacks the machine once whereupon the machine starts right up. Graybeard leaves and the company is making money again.

The next day Manager receives a bill from Graybeard for $5,000. Manager is furious at the price and refuses to pay. Graybeard assures him that it’s a fair price. Manager retorts that if it’s a fair price Graybeard won’t mind itemizing the bill. Graybeard agrees that this is a fair request and complies.

The new, itemized bill reads….

Hammer:  $5

Knowing where to hit the machine with hammer: $4995

One of my college roommates became a field service engineer who worked on big factory machines. He told a story similar to that.  He was called in to a place where he and the crew had a bit of tension. This time, while the factory people were on break he found their problem was just a bad safety interlock on one of the machine's cover panels. He adjusted it a little, but the slop in the panel mounting was enough it was touchy.

When the factory people got back from break to see if he had it fixed, he took out a marker and made an X on the panel, then whopped it with his hand and the machine started.  He left it that way and they had to hit it every day when they started it up until he was called back for some other problem, at which time he replaced the interlock switch.