Mr. Nice Guy finishes last, again

Some may comment that I'm getting my just desserts for working for little people instead of big dollar clients.?ÿ Over the decades I have had identical experiences with commercial and industrial clients who use the first guy to get the information they need before going to the guy they were planning to use all along.?ÿ But, many times I have been that second guy who gets the job and wonders "How did that happen?"?ÿ The client seems to know too much about what is needed and what might be the best way to do that. Que sera sera.

You ain't alone. I used to donate lot survey and house layout services to Habitat for Humanity for about 11 years. The head honchos of HFH and all the other subcontractors that donated their services were pissed and basically went out of their way to avoid me because I wouldn't do the same for them. All with the attitude "after all, you just seal a piece of paper". ?????ÿ

I don't like that expression.

So everybody has to be a type A competitive jerk that must always feed their ego with wins?

I think your problem was that you offered too much information about their problems even before signing anything. Couldn't you just have given a quote? If they ask for a discount, give them another quote without too much explanation? Your discussion about their problem corner was IMHO already part of a consultation session that should have occurred AFTER they signed off on your price.

@jt50 I agree, too much info.?ÿ I would have just given an estimate of a low and a high, depending what they wanted.

@flga I did a large ALTA survey with topography for the new Salvation Army site, completely free, glad to help out. The left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing, they hired another surveyor to do the exact same survey. That was the end for me.

@jt50

Yep. At one point I decided that I would get paid for my advice. If I gave it out without a contract, I expected nothing in return. Sometimes the small projects are worth moving on to someone else.?ÿ

My problem is that I enjoy helping people.?ÿ This young couple was sort of a cross between my youngest daughter's situation and my oldest grandchild's situation.?ÿ Why spend 3X when X will achieve the same result??ÿ At that stage of their life money is usually needed for more important things.......like diapers.?ÿ I made too much effort in attempting to be helpful.

@holy-cow You "Done Good".?ÿ Sometimes we get "bit" trying to help others.?ÿ That is their problem and not mine.?ÿ I do the best I can with what I've got and try to help others along the way. Donating time, money, expertise, etc. is just that, donation.?ÿ I can sleep at night knowing I've done what is right.

Andy

Posted by: @dave-karoly

I don't like that expression.

So everybody has to be a type A competitive jerk that must always feed their ego with wins?

I think there's shades of gray.?ÿ I was Mr. Nice Guy (not concerning prices) for too long and finally woke up and slid to the center, stood my ground when in the right and gradually crossed off dealing with competitive jerks and Mr. Nice Guy folks (they tend to have problems) 'till my clientele was in the center like me; meeting on even ground.?ÿ A nice clientele to have & repeat business with the regional players.

Then I went into public service with the amazing pension/medical benefits with a higher wage than the privates.?ÿ Many savvy surveyors have done so. <g>

@holy-cow

I know of lots of people that will be driving along, see something in the road and say to their passenger that "somebody should get that out of the road before it causes a wreck and someone gets hurt". Then they keep going!

I bet you are the one out of a thousand that will stop and get that junk out of the road. Am I right?

James

We staked out grave sites for Veterans after the Cemetery Association moaned about no money to pay for doing the job for Free. Two weeks after we finished the job they gave the big Firm in a town a cost plus job to stake out without even asking us for a price. Talk about a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

I have been doing some work for charity associations, however, you must set limits.?ÿ

Pick and chose wisely.?ÿ

I helped a local group get started on erecting a much-needed elderly care facility.?ÿ Many people contributed in some way, at least once.?ÿ I did one big thing and a couple small things at no charge in the first three years of the effort.?ÿ The next time the called they were up and running and making money but wanted me to do more for free.?ÿ I said no.?ÿ To the best of my knowledge they have never needed any form of survey support since that day.

How did they stab you in the back? You offered a free consultation. They decided to go with someone else.

That's why most professionals charge a consultation fee.

I admire you for being up front, and honest about trying to drive the project to one which would have been a good conclusion for everyone. There probably was more to their story that you were not privy to, there always seems to be.?ÿ Of course, you wanted to set and memorialize the points that ultimately would have been necessary and even if doing so at your cost, you would have not been chosen for the job. Probably because that particular client/family didn't need to know what was in the soup, they just wanted soup quickly. The drive up mentality.?ÿ?ÿ

I often do things for people gratis. It makes me feel good and I am a believer in what comes around goes around. I have contractors who have helped me out more than once, an auto mechanic who only charges me when he has to and many more examples where I have become the beneficiary of someones grace.?ÿ Many years ago I took on a large for me project for a low income housing developer at cost (they didn't know) because I appreciated what they were doing and how they were going about it. That relationship has blossomed into a file cabinet full of projects all around town where my reputation has generated more business that I ever dreamed of.?ÿ As I close out my career, those are the people that I will miss the most.?ÿ

@rundatline

They lied to me more than once.?ÿ After the onsite meeting it was a definite go, but they would let me know the final plan later.?ÿ Every time I checked in with them they told me they didn't know yet what they would be able to do.?ÿ That includes a call two days prior to the field work by a different firm who had been contacted about two days after the onsite meeting.?ÿ There was a period of one month when they could have been honest with me.?ÿ I passed up on another job based on the time to get to it, partly because of the job that had already disappeared but didn't know it.?ÿ I have no respect for liars.

@holy-cow

I now see why you were so disheartened. That's awful. Working for the public will kill a good spirit.

@holy-cow?ÿ Don't you know "no good deed goes unpunished"?