I think there's a lot of people that believe surveyors are public servants; that we perform our services for free; we can show up to the property and magically mark their boundaries and ride off into the sunset, waving our hat, saying, "No need to thank me ma'am"!
One time and one time only was there a "No need to thank me, Ma'am."?ÿ We had been dating for over six months at the time.?ÿ BTW, she DID pay the invoice in full. ??? ??? ??? ??? ????ÿ
Me: (After a very prolonged game of 20 questions)?ÿ That sounds like a somewhat common job for a two-lot tract in your city.?ÿ Those usually run around $XXXX, plus or minus, depending on things that's can create problems or help make it easier.
Caller:?ÿ WHAT?????ÿ My barber's cousin's next door neighbor had a survey done just last month for $350.?ÿ What kind of money-grubbing thief are you?
Aussie contractor: Mate, I've just built a 25m concrete poowel (pool).
Me: Crickets.
Aussie contractor: Mate, I've just built a 25m concrete pool and I was gonna fill it today but it rained overnight and its lifted a meter out the ground at one end.
I am dead.?ÿ Died about a year and a half ago.?ÿ But I do still survey.
It's somewhat more expensive now, though, as I have to hire mortals that not only know what they're doing but can understand my direction.?ÿ Rare breed, but I know a couple guys.?ÿ You heard me OK though, eh??ÿ Interesting.
And, to answer Nate's question, it has been over 21 years since I have even seen her, by accident, when we both happened to be at the same car dealership one day.?ÿ She lives closer to Nate than me these days.
Him:?ÿ You were recommended to me by (someone I know) to do survey work.?ÿ I need help.?ÿ Can you help me.
Me:?ÿ Probably.?ÿ What is the reason for the survey and where is it located?
Him:?ÿ The (naughty word) next door hired some fool surveyor who didn't know what he was doing and now he says my greenhouse is partly on his property.
Me:?ÿ I see.?ÿ Exactly where is your property.
Him: ( Pulls out his most tax bill and reads off the shorthand version.)
Me:?ÿ So, that's at 1906 East Cherry and your neighbor's name is Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.
Him:?ÿ You were recommended to me by (someone I know) to do survey work.?ÿ I need help.?ÿ Can you help me.
Me:?ÿ Probably.?ÿ What is the reason for the survey and where is it located?
Him:?ÿ The (naughty word) next door hired some fool surveyor who didn't know what he was doing and now he says my greenhouse is partly on his property.
Me:?ÿ I see.?ÿ Exactly where is your property.
Him: ( Pulls out his most tax bill and reads off the shorthand version.)
Me:?ÿ So, that's at 1906 East Cherry and your neighbor's name is Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.
Him:?ÿ The idiots at the bank tell me my house is in a flood area.?ÿ They've never even seen my property but they think it will flood and want me to pay for some high-dollar insurance to protect them.?ÿ They told me to call you so I can avoid paying for that insurance.
Me: (Asking the standard questions while looking up the property online to verify the flood info)
Him:?ÿ Can you get out here today or tomorrow to do whatever you need to do?
Me:?ÿ All I can do is add you to my current list of projects.?ÿ I'm guessing it will be about four weeks to get there.
Him:?ÿ Damn, you must drive slow.
Me:?ÿ Also, as you are located in the City of Paranoia, I should be able to do this for you for the standard urban fee of $XXXX.?ÿ By the way, there is no guarantee that the real world information will show you higher than the base flood elevation for your location, thus making you eligible to apply for a LOMA from FEMA.
Him: WHAT??ÿ YOU CHARGE MONEY TO DO THIS??ÿ FORGET I EVER CALLED.
