I grew up surveying with my dad
I learned alot.
I learned to be micro managed, to the extreme.
I learned to hate surveying.
I learned to survey.
I got a license.
Sometimes I wish I were doing tree topping, or driving the county road grader.
When you are a surveyor, you survey 24-7.
I'm demented.
Watch out, b-4 you become like me.
Nate
Story
Back in the early days of my career I was working for a company in Bellingham, Washington. I was the newly hired helper to a PC who had a rep for having an explosive temper. I had been warned that I would be expected to put up with a certain amount of his ..stuff. His last helper had quit abruptly. Now, I started surveying a little late in life, so I'd already been around a few of his type in other jobs, but I don't mind saying that it was getting a bit thick after only a few weeks.
One fine spring day we went to a new subdivision to as-built the sanitary and storm manholes for as-builts. We had one of the other rodman -whose name was also Mark - along to help. Mark and I would flip the lids and do the dips, calling out the pipe sizes, types, and directions, and dips. Tom, the PC, was in the van taking the notes.
With 2 eager beavers dipping and calling out information and one old dog taking notes things easily got confused, Tom quickly got frustrated, and the sputtering and snapping began in earnest. By midmorning the air was getting pretty thick. Sanitary or Storm? Concrete, PVC, or ADS? East, west, north or south? Etc. etc. etc. Either we were going too fast or not fast enough. Things were tense.
Then, we popped another lid. Mark looked down into the void, and said "It's a drain thingy. Pipes go left and right."
Tom, stopped, peered over the top of his glasses, and quietly said "What?"
I broke out in hysterical laughter. It took me 5 minutes to collect myself. Mark just snickered quietly, keeping his face turned away from Tom.
Tom calmed down after that. Mark had found a perfect way to tell him just where to get off. I worked with Tom the rest of that summer and we got along pretty well. He had a few tantrums, but none were directed at me or the other rodmen. Much of what I know about construction staking I learned from Tom.
Story
:good: What a great story. Exposed the absurdity of Tom's behavior with humor and courage, allowing him to check himself.
Story
That's called people skills.
Some people are born with them and others have to work at to learn. Either way - It's required for life.
Just a few thoughts:
You can not change the spots on that leopard, so you will have to learn how to deal with it, if you decide to stay. I do not think a confrontation will get you anywhere. If he could change his behavior, he already would have. He knows already what he is doing is inappropriate and actually feels bad about it, hence the immediate apology after he clouds up and rains on you.
It likely will get better as you do your job more to his liking but you are in a good location to find another job so don't let it harm your long term well being.
Perhaps he is a lurker here and it will help for him to read this thread;-)
Good Luck.
Thanks, guys
I think it's called "taking someone aside".
Any other way and it can come across as a complaining or weakness issue that your boss needs to deal with as part of his job.
I will admit I have had success working things out in the office.
One time (early in my career), I had applied for an internal promotion. I think I was probably only 20 years old.
One of the higher up bosses came to visit a construction project we were working on.
The party chief, the contractor, the boss, and myself were standing around discussing how the project was going, when out of the blue, my boss starts discussing his perception of my lack of qualifications for the promotion. Lets just say I was a little red in the face and not just from embarrassment.
I handled it quietly in the field, but as soon as I got back to the office, I walked into his office and told him that we needed to have a talk and shut the door to his office.
When I opened the door to leave, I felt much better for having stood up for myself and about 1 month later received the promotion. We got along fine for years after that. We never said another word about it.
I do wish I would have been quick enough thinking on my feet to have handled it immediately after it happened. But the main thing was it crossed the line with me and I was ready to take the consequences. I learned a valuable lesson that day.
Thanks, guys
I can't tell you what is right or wrong for your particular situation. I can only issue a warning. Do not allow anyone else to punish you such that you begin to have physical/mental problems because of their behavior.
Many years ago I worked with a highly intelligent, very capable man who stuttered terribly. Eventually I asked if he had always had the verbal challenge. Most definitely not. It was brought on by working for one of those abusive types at a time in his life when he felt trapped into keeping his job no matter what happened. That idiot would get so worked up during his rants that he was known to climb up on the employee's desk, stomp his feet, kick anything on the desk that could be kicked, while demanding the employee remain seated in his office chair throughout the temper tantrum. No apologies ever came. Eventually he realized he had to leave that job or possibly do things to harm himself. The only silver lining to this hideous black cloud of a boss was that the boss retired on his 55th birthday and died two weeks later of a massive coronary brought on by his years of Type A behavior. I think the celebration held by many former employees went on for a couple of days.
Bullies are like liars. They get started at an early age, do it without thinking, and continue indefinitely unless someone else can effectively punish them in such a way they realize they must change or risk losing whatever it is that is important to them.
Start looking for another job. He will not change. It does not matter how many discussions you have. "Chase the natural and it will come back galloping"
You are getting anxiety attacks man, how much more signs do you need?
> ... He is a fine surveyor and does not compromise or cut corners.
Except when it comes to hiring experienced personnel to lead the field effort. Not a knock on you, but it sounds to me like you have been thrown into the deep end of the pool without your waterwings and no lifeguard on duty.
As an employee, the best opportunities for growth occur when you are given responsibilities that are currently at the edge of, or just beyond your present capabilities, but you also need plenty of guidance. That guidance is probably most critical for employees who are in the field and light on experience.
Have a sit down with the boss, let him know that you appreciate the opportunities but that you also need more guidance than you've been getting if he expects fewer errors and/or delays. As long as you did not embellish your qualifications when you hired in, that's a reasonable request that a reasonable boss should accept and make an effort to accommodate.
I also agree that he may simply be someone who is somewhat overwhelmed with the responsibilities he has and just as frustrated with his own inability to be in the field, in the office, at meeetings, and doing research all at the same time. He may be in a financial position that he cannot afford to hire someone with the experience he needs in the field and so has made a decision to hire someone with less experience but a willingness to learn at a rate he figures he can afford.
It could be that a frank conversation between him and you is what he needs to take notice of what he already knows (but has been ignoring in the vain hope that you gain his knowledge through osmosis), and begin to make work flow changes to something that he can more easily manage.
Either that, or he may decide that he doesn't really have the time or energy to keep running the business and decide that after 40 years, it's time to wrap it up and retire.
Mr Cow
That is some good thinking.
I shared that with my brother, who is a pastor in Ohio.
Thanks
Nate
His butt is on the line . the first year of party chiefing is hard but it gets better ..
I agree with this. Also, the OP mentioned,
"I have been running a one-man crew using RTK and Trimble Robotics almost since the day I started. The equipment is not a problem for me, I'm familiar with it. It's the procedures and general surveying knowledge that I'm lacking."
And you also mention, "In my experience so far in TX, it's fairly uncommon to be able to work in the field directly alongside such an experienced RPLS and I would like to take advantage of the breadth of knowledge available because of it.",
which is confusing because I don't know of too many one-man crews where you're working alongside someone :-/
Sounds like you need actual work alongside an experienced RPLS to avoid the @sschewings
A little insight,
for what it's worth. You mentioned the RPLS has been at it for some 40 years and has forgotten more than you know. It may well be that he is just burnt out and nearing the point where it's time to move on to other things. The last surveyor I worked for had one of the most explosive tempers of anyone I've ever met. The smallest of things could set him off into a blind rage. Several times after such a berating I would have to excuse myself telling him my blood pressure was going through the ceiling (which it was) and go outside and get myself some air and calm down. When I'd come back he'd apologize. I told him that the scolding was not helping anything and that I was doing my best. He later confessed to me just before he retired that he was just flat out tired of surveying, he'd been at it longer than I'd been alive. He taught me a great deal and we remain good friends to this day. I guess what I'm saying is that when people lash out, some times it's because they are suffering. Having a little compassion and empathy towards them, while counter intuitive, is much more productive and healthy than throwing in the towel and writing them off. Some times being compassionate to people you'd like to hit with a shovel takes more strength and courage than walking away. Some times you just have to hit them with the shovel and walk away, but remember, the law of cause and effect is strict and there are consequences to every action we take. Choose wisely grasshopper. 😉
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.
I don't think the man is a bully, bullies DO NOT apologize.
Tell him it's affecting your mental health, and that if he doesn't back off then you're gone.
For some reason our culture looks down on quitting. Life is too short to be miserable.
The faster you fail, the faster you will find success. Don't waste years in soul-sucking pergatory.
But give him a good-faith effort to change, that way no bridges are burnt.
I've worked with and for a lot of different people in the past 30 years. One guy just had the personality that caused him to go off for any reason. On the other hand, I have had people under me that ran and told other workers they had gotten a "butt chewing" whenever I questioned them about something. It's hard to know what is exactly taking place in any given situation unless you get to hear both sides. Some people think they are always right and others think they are never wrong.
> For some reason our culture looks down on quitting.
A little reading in economics has gone a long way in improving my own decision making, especially when it comes to quitting (a job, a project, an investment, anything): http://www.skepdic.com/sunkcost.html
Very insightful advice in this thread.
I find it amazing that employers and co-workers get away with the things people are describing.
I mean some guy jumping up and down on my desk yelling at me to sit where I am. Freaking crazy. I would show him the off button and move on. Ash trays can be used for more than ashes;)
> I don't think the man is a bully, bullies DO NOT apologize.
That's what I was thinking. My question would be has he exhibited this behavior from day one, or is it something new. There may be something going on with him that he is having a hard time handling.
I was dealing with a guy professionally for a while who seemed to be a world class dlck; turns out his daughter was battling cancer and no one outside his immediate family knew about it.