Every time one person coughs or sneezes, half a dozen people soil their britches.?ÿ
?ÿ
That's funny, I don't care who you are.
I was at the grocery store yesterday and had a package of TP in my cart.?ÿ A lady came up to me and asked where I had found it since the shelves were now empty.?ÿ I told her I shanked an old man on aisle 3 and stole it.
She failed to see the humor.
My wife turned into the paper aisle just as the stocker came out with a cart of boxes of mostly paper towels but a few TP...I never thought I'd get excited about having TP in our shopping cart.
The bread aisle was mostly empty but they had one package of DAVE'S BREAD, I said how about that one? She said, "I don't like that one." just like that, she might just as well have stabbed me in the heart.
I saw somewhere this morning that some company is starting to make CBD infused toilet paper. They are hoping it will encourage people to calm their asses down!
?ÿ
James
Since Radar seems too busy this Moanday afternoon to post this, I thought I'd fill in.?ÿ
Sometimes, a humorous lens is needed when things like toilet paper hoarding is all over the news.
On a local area FB group, a woman posted that someone broke her car window and only stole the TP she had in the back. In another group that advertises old houses (most people just seem to like looking), if a bathroom shows any TP, people are making all kinds of snarky comments.
People here in the Virgin Islands are pissed that tourists have been seen carrying big packages of TP to the airport.?ÿ
When I travel for any lengthy time, I pack one bag of TP and as many bottles, jugs and/or containers of my well water I can carry.
I fill the bag with things to bring back and drink my well water because I'm not gonna drink the water there and I really don't like most of the bottled water I've found for sale.
Always try to look on the brighter side, when there's no food left on the shelves to buy then you won't need any TP
I'm waiting unit the first of the month when everybody's rent comes due.?ÿ They'll be long return lines at Walmart and TP will be plentiful once again.
Families with school kids had better get prepared in more way than one.?ÿ We are officially shutting down all the public schools (K-12).?ÿ Just the buildings, not the classwork.?ÿ The teachers are going to have to find ways to do everything on line.?ÿ The challenge being, in part, that not everyone has the facilities in their home to participate.?ÿ Much frustration is about to be released by everyone involved.
The bills at home will increase due to an increased effective occupation rate.?ÿ More utilities, more food, more toilet paper, more.....................................
Way back about 1978-79 I had a co-worker who had recently graduated college and was living by himself in a trailer house.?ÿ The office we worked from was about four miles from the town where he lived.?ÿ One day at noon he and I went into town to eat lunch.?ÿ As we were pulling away from the little cafe he suggested we hurry back to the office.?ÿ I asked why the hurry.?ÿ He responded that he was in need of a good poop.?ÿ I pointed to his trailer about one block away and asked if we shouldn't stop there instead.?ÿ Nope.?ÿ He wanted to go back to work because the "wipe" was free there.
The following account has been sanitizer for the censors.
A old friend had a similar belief that he would wait till he got to work to #2 so that he got paid to poop. He was done of telling everyone that he "made it a point to s#%t on company time.
@just-a-surveyor Old rhyme: "The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, I'm going to p..p on company time"
RE: Why is there a shortage of TP? Because there's a surplus of ......
When I was at university, my fraternity was running into a slight budget crises towards the end of the term.?ÿ It was either TP or beer.?ÿ As you can imagine, this was not taken lightly by 60 guys who would regularly go through 10 to 30 kegs of beer a week (I'm kind of a amazed any of us made it out).?ÿ On suggestion was to use a singe square per wipe, removing a small portion before the wipe operation to clean under ones fingernails.?ÿ Calmer head prevailed and a decree was given that no freshman would return from campus without a roll of wipe liberated from the bathrooms of the university.?ÿ All was well, we drank for the rest of the term.
I was a shame to see them turn our 32 keg beer cooler into a bike storage facility about 25 years ago and even worse to see it altogether gone this fall.
Way back when, my flatmate and I used to brew our own.
Our brew keg was a 44 gallon drum - so twenty three and half dozen of the then NZ standard 750 ml bottles.
Which was great if the brew worked, but we had a couple of failures in the depths of winter.
That's a LOT of bad beer to get rid off
