Yesterday I was working in a small, rural village.?ÿ As usual I was asked many questions, and ran into a few wonderful people who took their time to tell me everything they knew.?ÿ Also as usual, I ran into a few who begrudgingly let me do my job. And finally I ran into one person who could not be reasoned with at all. There is no need to go into details, as I am sure every one of you are now flooded with your own memories of these types of people.?ÿ
My questions are: Have you sought training (a class, reading an article, etc.) for these situations? Do you provide training for your crews on dealing with these unreasonable people? Have you found anything that works to diffuse the situation??ÿ
I do my best to stay courteous and professional, but when my integrity is challenged I tend to lose my calm. It is something I want to improve, so any advice is appreciated. I would also like to train my crews so we all represent the profession better.?ÿ
"Sir, I have a job to do and you can cooperated or not.
I won't bother you and the job will get done with or without what you want to happen."
I have had to get Sherriff deputy to come and deal with problem people and sometimes the grumpy dudes friend or wife to reason with them to do my job.
good luck
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This isn't peculiar to surveying, it's particular to anything one does - some are indifferent, some enjoy the spectacle, some help, some hope it will be a f up, one or two will try and f you up.?ÿ
There is a user here who has spoken highly of Mediation training in the context of business development and management, I imagine that would be a good place to start.
The most common problem I have had is dealing with adjoiners who resent development.
In extreme cases I will use the broken record technique.
I can usually just direct them to my boss which makes it easy. I was working with an LS in the field one time who, when approached by an nosy neighbor gave them his card, and said to call that guy with any concerns, without making clear that he was him.?ÿ
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It is my experience that unreasonable and belligerent people are usually the very ones who have brought about the very problems that we are called to a property to provide answers and remedy's to.
Usually it is the belligerent one who has done something that has caused an encroachment or other serious title problem and your survey is a threat to him and what he has done. You must be vanquished through fear or intimidation by threat of lawsuit.
I have tried many times and most times I am able to finish but you can guarantee that the belligerent a$$ will refuse to let it go and even if you prove beyond a shadow of doubt that your survey is correct he (sometimes it's a woman) will not relent.?ÿ
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The last highly-memorable one I recall would have been gone in a flash if I could have handed her some dope.?ÿ I knew who she was and knew what made her happy.?ÿ However, I was not going to offer her what a certain fellow I knew was giving her every chance he could find when her husband was driving his semi across the country.
Nope, no training courses, just decades of experience at defusing bad situations.?ÿ Still, about 50 weeks ago I encountered the neighbor from hell.?ÿ The client called law enforcement for backup but I was gone before they could get there.?ÿ That's how obnoxious that SOB from next door was.?ÿ Never went back.?ÿ If that SOB's house ever burns down I'm sure they will come looking for me, but I'll already be on my way to Guatemala.
Hard question to answer. Lots of different ways to be unreasonable. My grandmother was an unreasonable person so I had the advantage (if you want to call it that) of watching how Grandpa dealt with it. He didn't spend much time trying to convince her why she was wrong.
Regarding anger when someone questions your professionalism, this is a simple issue of pride. I've been fascinated with foolish pride since moving to NC from ME. I never understood just how destructive foolish pride could be until observing some of my wife's relatives. Pride can make a great person destroy everything they love and care about.
The belligerent abutter is just going to keep throwing out insults until something sticks. When, inevitably, they start to insult your honor, there is nothing you can do to prevent pride and its accompanying anger from swelling. Instead of prevention, use deflection. Train your brain to recognize pride or personal insult and turn it into something else. A friend of mine would deflect anger by immediately complimenting his antagonist. I tend to say things like, ??I can definitely understand why you feel that way, but don't worry, we'll get this sorted out.? It keeps my anger from growing. but no canned phrase can change an unreasonable person's mind.
I don't pretend that I can rationalize the value another person places on their home. If things get real ugly, I pack up and leave. I've had to have a police escort twice. Both situations involved people who felt backed into a corner with nothing left to lose.
Disagreeable people love to be disagreeable.?ÿ It is their shield, their armor.?ÿ That is what they use to deflect harm from getting to them.
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I see no reason to take a training class. I am not there as a psychologist. If the unreasonable person is not my client then I call the police. In fact in many cases I preemptively call the police to let them know when I will be in the neighborhood.
Distractions often cause a lack of concentration on what it was that I was trying to accomplish. Would you want a bunch of people annoying a brain surgeon during an operation?
I mind my own business and I expect you to do the same. The police will answer the call. They are there to protect and serve.?ÿ
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I am certainly not a people person.?ÿ In fact, I do my best to avoid humans as much as possible, especially while doing fieldwork.?ÿ
That said, I'd say 95% of people I encounter, even if they're against what I'm doing, just want me to listen to their side.?ÿ Afterward, they usually let me continue working, knowing that I'm not really the cause of their issues.
There are the few who tell me straight up to get the F out, even if I'm not on their land.?ÿ They're so loud, unreasonable, and persistent, it's not worth having it out then.
Good points. I am going to try and remind myself that while it is my job, it is their home. It sounds like you still try to give them respect, which I don't always do.
It also seems that while these people are quick to threaten to call the sheriff, they don't care what the law actual says. I am in a right-of-entry state (with no notice), but citing that law doesn't help. In this case I was on the ROW, but the owner's friend thought it looked too far into the yard...
There is a user here who has spoken highly of Mediation training in the context of business development and management, I imagine that would be a good place to start.
I think that is Don Poole.
I frequently work in downtown Portland where there a lot of homeless sleeping on the sidewalk. With very few exceptions these people are either mentally ill, drug addicts, or both.?ÿ Usually both. Most of them are harmless to anyone other than themselves. A few are not.?ÿ ?ÿSo I've got that going for me.?ÿ
In your case, I just have to ask if you did all you could do to prevent this? Is your truck well marked with your business name? Were you dressed appropriately (vest, hat, etc.). That often helps. Although, of course, some people are just irrational.?ÿ
I find it is good to have a general story ready to tell. One you can talk about freely for a while without giving out specific information. I'll start with "Just surveying a boundary for one of your neighbors so that they can build a fence" and then go into the history of the neighborhood survey-wise, and explain why I'm 2 blocks away from said neighbors property searching for evidence.?ÿ?ÿ
I take exception to the idea that the police are there to "protect and serve" but I get your point.
