Contractor; “On this job are we using 12” to the foot or 10” to the foot?”
Contractor; “You laid out the house wrong, on the plan (Plat) it says that there is a 25' setback from the street and you have it at 26'”.
“saw you down on the street Monday; why were you walking around with that chicken bucket (trimble 4800)?”
"of course I know where my corner is, I set it there."
Oh... you mean that thing's not a GPS? (my robot) I thought that's all you guys (surveyors) used these days.
I need you to check that house over there. The GSI (yes, GSI) says it's across my line.
from the neighborhood mayor: This was an alley a few years ago, they facated about 6 years ago (has been a lot since 1890).
Same "mayor": my deed calls for 60 by 150 and by gosh, that's exactly what I'll get... when I get it surveyed...
Me: yes sir, but you realize that monuments control in Virginia, right?
Mayor: what does that mean....
Me: yeaaaaah...
neighbor to lot I was surveying: I was told that the power pole was the property corner.
Me: who told you that?
neighbor: My real estate agent
Me: what is the Land Surveyors license number of your Real Estate Agent
neighbor: what?
Me: yeaaaaaah....
Why are you 2 miles from my place? That is what I hired you to survey, not the neighbors.
jud
Kids: "What are you digging for?"
Me: "Dinosaur bones"
Kids: "Really, wow, Moooommmmmmm......!"
you can walk off of my property or you can be carried off.
can I be in your movie?
Can't you use any 'benchmark'
Don't take my picture!!
Kids: "What are you building?"
My chainman, while stroking his beard thoughtfully: "We're thinking of putting in a waterslide..."
Kids: "Mommmm!!!"
" can I get you to appraise my house when your done?"
Heard this one yesterday
"Won't all this iron ore out here mess with your survey"
"That's not like the transit I'm used to seeing"
I think I've heard just about all of these.:-)
My favorite is "You'd be surprised what you can do with a compass..."
To which I reply "Yeah, you can get yourself lost".:-)
I once had a rodman that carried a compass "just in case he got lost". I told him it wouldn't do him any good unless he took a bearing before we left the truck; his witty reply was a blank stare.
"All the surveyors start down at the railroad bridge". (USGS BM).
"Well, if your surveying that property down there, what are you doing all the way up here?"
"The guy that surveyed across the street used one of those radar things". (total station).
"They always put the utility poles right on the line".
"My realtor said it would only cost $250"
"you mean it's going to take more than one day to survey my 100 ac".
"Is this where the new 4 lane is going". Followed by a "yuck, yuck, yuck" like it's the funniest thing in the world.
Kids: are you the news people?
Me: yea, stand in front of the camera...yea, now go home & watch yourself on TV
Off they ran... 😉
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you...
Me, in the “hood” doing a boundary survey for potential acquisition of a property to be utilized as a retention pond for a proposed Right-of-Way expansion. Right after set up.
A “gentleman/resident” approaches and comments:
Him: “Hay, man! Watchya takin pic-ues of?
Me: I’m not taking pictures, I’m a surveyor and am in the process of locating a boundary.
Him: “Everybody id da hood knows is where the boundarys am at, Is yu wit the Po-lice?
Why’s you gots dat camera?”
Me: It’s not a camera, it is a theodolite utilized for measuring angles and distances. (now noticing this dude is packing heat)
Him: “Diamond”, (apparently the emperor of the hood), gones be bak soon, an if he sees smme whitey takin pic-ues of da hood youh ass be dead.
Me: Thank you for the information, I will exit the area immediately.
Him: (thinking, if possible)“WTF tha honkie did said?
Me: I bid him goodbye (from the inside of the truck) and lived happily ever after.
The End.;-)
David
That's funny, but I do it the other way.
Last really irritating guy I dealt with kept coming up and asking questions. I'm usually very confidential. He kept pestering me, so I couldn't resist.
I told him he knew why I was there. He said he didn't. I asked, did you get the letter? He said what letter? I said the one from TXDOT. He asked what was TXdot. I told him. He asked why (we were out in the woods). I then asked where his house was. He pointed. I got all down in the mouth and murmured. He said, What? I said, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that is where the centerline of the new IH 69 corridor is planned.
He flew off the charts. I calmed him down, and gave some guys name (I think Gilbert or something) at the regional TxDOT office was the guy to speak with (of course there is no one there by that name, at least I hope). He asked where it was and I told him Tyler (about 1 hour North not including traffic). He said he was going to give them a piece of his mind.
He left, I finished and haven't been back. I feel really bad for ol' Gilbert or whatever name I gave him.
I've done that more than once to get people to spin their wheels in a different direction than mine.
A few years ago working in the getto. The name on the truck read XYZ Civil Engineers and Surveyors, this older black gentelman approaches us in the truck and looks at the sign and reads silver engines and supervisors, that's all right! We got a good laugh but were hard pressed to keep a straight face while he was standing there. Well it was funny at the time.
Bob
"My realtor said it would only cost $250"
Heard this last week...
Oldtimer:
"I used to work on a survey crew when I was (in college, in construction, etc.) back in the (40's, 50's, etc.)"
LOL Bob!
Welcome, and have a great week!