3pm Friday
Caller (realtor) "My client is preparing to close on a vacant commercial property, and I've just found out they need an ALTA survey, is that a service you provide"
Me "Yes, where is the property located?"
Caller {describes a +-1 acre parcel located right in my wheelhouse, my firm has probably done 20 surveys in that section over the last 50 years}
Me "Yes, I have some experience in that area, what kind of a timetable are you looking at?"
Caller "We need the survey for a closing next Friday, one week from today"
Me "...............{Is this guy jerking my chain?}"
Me "I'm sorry, did you say ONE WEEK from today?"
Caller "Yes, is that a problem?"
Me "Likely yes {looks at next week's schedule}, I could possibly put off some low priority work and do the field work next Wednesday, but that doesn't leave much time for the drafting. Do you have a title commitment yet?"
Caller "Yes, and I don't see any issues in it"
Me "How thick is it?"
Caller "214 pages"
Me ".................{This guy has to be jerking my chain}"
Me "{Realizes it might be adjoining a railroad, with a 100+ page deed crossing the entire county, that I already have traced out} How may items are there in the schedule B special exceptions?"
Caller "47, is that a lot?"
Me "..................{where is the hidden camera?} Yes, that's quite a bit for a small parcel like that".
Caller "Most of them aren't anything you'll need to worry about, just easements."
Me "OK you're kidding me right?"
Caller "Not at all, why?"
Me "{regains composure} Each of those easements has to be plotted on the survey, which means they have to be carefully read, drawn, analyzed, and described on the face of the survey. There is quite possibly a week's worth of work just tracing easements, depending on how they are described etc. I don't think I can even give you a quote, there is just no way I can get to it and do any sort of a professional job in that kind of timeframe. I can recommend brands x, y, & z here in town, they do excellent work, but I doubt they'll have time to do it either."
Caller "OK, thanks for your time."
Me "...............{did that really just happen? I need a beer, I'm going home}"
I did go look at it online, it has about 5 different power lines crossing it, (it's across the street from a substation), and does adjoin the railroad, might be a gas line there too. Not sure if there is any space to build anything on it with all those easements.
Sounds like a client I wouldn't want to have. To accomplish that in under a week would require too many people doing too many things in unison with full knowledge of what each of the others knows. Plus it would probably be the monsoon season.
That is nuts.... I might have asked to speak directly with the buyer if I really wanted the work. They often have a better understanding of what's going on than the realtor does.