"You would jus as soon sandpaper a sleeping wildcats a$$, as to mess with me"
"You better bring a lunch cause its going to take you all day"
"this right hand has killed two men, I'm afraid of the left one myself"
That'll go over like a turd in the punch bowl.
That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
You can call a cow's tail a leg but it doesn't make it one. (originated with A. Lincoln I believe)
A lazy wind
Describing an incessant wind that never stops and doesn't go round things but straight through (hence lazy and too tired to go round), as in flattens anything in its path
As useful as a hat full of a...holes
He's only ninepence in the shilling (not very bright)
Many a good tune played on an old fiddle (has various applications)
Funny as a fart in a space suit...
I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on a brushfire
if you're ever down by the river... drop in
If i don't see ya before it rains.... piss on ya
If i don't see ya before Easter.... paint your own damn eggs
If I don't see ya before halloween.... jack your own lantern
If I don't see ya before mating season.... f@#$ ya
A few off the top of my head.
- The porch lights on but no ones home.
-He doesn't know whether to check his a** or scratch his watch.
-She fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
-If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt on the ground
-Throwing a hissy fit
-Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining
-He's slicker than owl sh**.
I used to hear this all the time from Dave, the survey analyst at my first job:
tighter than a frogs ass, and that's watertight!
He doesn't know his a## from a hole in the ground...
Boudreaux: "That women is so ugly she has pole marks:"
Thiboduaux ask : "Boudreaux what are pole marks. "
Boudreaux says "It's those marks left over after guys touch her with a 10' pole."
His face caught on fire and someone put it out with an ice pick.
One from northern England: "I enjoyed the crack with you."
Means: I enjoyed our mutual banter.
My mothers, from southern GA "If wishes were horses then beggars would ride."
foggyidea, post: 399091, member: 155 wrote: My mothers, from southern GA "If wishes were horses then beggars would ride."
Reminds me of the one probably everyone knows. "Sh** in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up the fastest"
In light of some recent events this one comes to mind, "the dog caught the car".
MD Surveyor, post: 398914, member: 10081 wrote: -If a frog had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt on the ground
If a frog had a clutch he could ease off.
Andy
Finer than frog's hair; split 4 ways
Built like a brick s***house.
