Let's get started telling whoppers. I want these in my Christmas stocking!
- A new line cutting tool is being introduced that is as futuristic as it sounds.....a light saber with a range from three feet to just over twelve feet. It can clear a path through thick woods and briars at lightning speed with virtually no effort. The blade will have an automatic "meat detector" build in like those tablesaw blades seen on TV, where the weenie has barely a scratch. No more deep gashes requiring stitches, "tennis elbow" or sore backs! In vertical mode, it can cut daylight in a tight circular pattern of up to 100 feet and can be used in conjunction with the next item.
- Extend-a-GPS-Pole. This wonderful tool is a self-leveling extendable GPS pole and motorized up to 100 feet. It can extend straight up through a hole to the clear sky cut by the light saber tool mentioned above. The unit stops extending when the wonderful words "RTK FIXED" are heard, which, by the way, is available in new voices by Marilyn Monroe and Raquel Welch.
- Shonstuff is coming out with a new detector called "Pine Knot Detector." This unit, when activated, has an extendable snake-like tongue that "smells" the air near ground level to detect the faint odor of turpentine found in "lighter pine", that wonderfully smelling ingredient in a good ol' pine knot. There is also a built-in magnetic locator, so you get two detectors in one. Once a pine knot has been found, the unit emits a "yee-yee-yee-yee" sound similar to that of Turtle Man as seen on TV. Batteries will last for approximately three years.
- A new hand-held GPS unit is coming out that has one-tenth foot accuracy and works under severe canopy conditions, and on cloudy days. This unit will be perfect for property recon "walk the boundary" surveys and will be great for collecting topography, fences, treelines, and other topographical features along and near property lines. The unit works well when held against building walls, under tree trunks, dense overhead foliage, inside buildings and in just about any imaginable condition. Nothing stops this unit! Able to collect over one million points and runs for one year on a single charge. Output in many different formats and is able to communicate with any other handheld device. No more running to a point before losing lock. This unit works anywhere!
- Surveyor's GPR Spectacles - this device is worn just like a large pair of sunglasses. When activated, the X-ray-like vision enhancer enables the surveyor to "see" underground with startling clarity. Depth perception is just like normal vision in that a surveyor can walk over a site, look at the ground, and will be able to "see" underground utilities measuring from 1/4-inch diameter up, and approximate a distance to the underground utility. An optional feature lets the wearer discern the difference between types of conduit, including concrete, plastic, clay tile, and ductile iron. Stadia hairs will allow the user to approximate the diameter of round pipe. Digital readouts will tell the elevation of an underground point identified by the user and the built-in GPS will Bluetooth that information back to the surveyor's field controller.
- New Super Dooper Instrument Batteries - these new type batteries will never need charging. They are nuclear powered and will last forever and ever and ever and ever and ever......
- Self-Leveling Instrument Tripod - the surveyor will secure the legs and mount the instrument approximately over a point on the ground. Then, at the press of a button, the sighting mechanism finds the ground point, and will adjust the adjustable tripod directly over the point and level the instrument in 20 seconds flat, ready to go to work. This saves a tremendous amount of time, especially with newbies, as they take an inordinate amount of time just setting up an instrument on a tripod over a point and leveling up. Geeeeezeee....
OK, fellow surveyors. Your turn!
:gammon::plumbbob::stakeout::stakeout::stakeout::stakeout::totalstation::-):-)
Self-Leveling Instrument Tripod - the surveyor will secure the legs and mount the instrument approximately over a point on the ground. Then, at the press of a button, the sighting mechanism finds the ground point, and will adjust the adjustable tripod directly over the point and level the instrument in 20 seconds flat, ready to go to work. This saves a tremendous amount of time, especially with newbies, as they take an inordinate amount of time just setting up an instrument on a tripod over a point and leveling up. Geeeeezeee....
I'm not a Topcon guy, but:
FUSION OF LASER AND ROBOTIC TECHNOLOGIES
By blending our self-leveling laser and robotic total station technologies, Topcon created a new way to perform construction and BIM layout. Simply position and turn on the layout navigator to self-level and connect, automatically. Control the LN-100 with either the full-capability MAGNET Field data collection software, or with MAGNET Construct, the no-cost Android app.
Single-operator solution for precise 3D layout
Easy one-button self-leveling setup
Wireless license free communication
Out of the box usage with no-cost MAGNET Construct app on any Android device
standing on the corner, post: 347874, member: 8561 wrote: I'm not a Topcon guy, but:
FUSION OF LASER AND ROBOTIC TECHNOLOGIES
By blending our self-leveling laser and robotic total station technologies, Topcon created a new way to perform construction and BIM layout. Simply position and turn on the layout navigator to self-level and connect, automatically. Control the LN-100 with either the full-capability MAGNET Field data collection software, or with MAGNET Construct, the no-cost Android app.
Single-operator solution for precise 3D layout
Easy one-button self-leveling setup
Wireless license free communication
Out of the box usage with no-cost MAGNET Construct app on any Android device
Hey, this is not a whopper! This really exists!
Hey, this is not a whopper! This really exists!
I want a GPS that will work in nearly all environments. I want it to tell me the truth. If it has a shot within a foot, I want it to tell me. If it has it within a tenth, I want it to tell me.
I want it to be light weight. I want it to be fast. I want it now.
I like my Javad.
N
O O O you said whoppers! Ok
I want Realtors, who want to know the truth.
I want Realtors, who are willing to pay, big bucks, to solve small problems. Cheerfully!
I want developers, who will pay in advance.
I want a truck that cannot be gotten stuck.
I want a cow that will never run out of milk.
I want to spend more than 3 mos each year in Cancun. On the beach. Fishing. With boats, and canopies, on the beach.
I want all my clients, and neighbors to my clients to think I'm great, and to send me year end bonuses. And, their dog to like me too!
🙂
N
I saw your GPS that works anywhere on TV a week or so ago. The show was about discovering what happened to Adolph Hitler. They were tracing a tunnel and wanted to match up with above ground locations so he whipped out his handheld GPS while in the tunnel. It worked for them so why not for us?
Andy
I want a pair of pants that I can reach in the pocket and pull out a fat roll of Cnotes 24/7 without fail......
A drone that scans the area of predescribed coordinates for boundary evidence, set a properly capped rebar within a 0.02 of a foot accuracy (based on a StarNet report), updates the CAD file and brings home a 6 pack.
In town, those X-Ray glasses would definitely keep me distracted with above ground 'thangs.' Probably wouldn't get much surveying done.
😉
I want a space based laser system so that when you have calculated the boundary corners you can get the satellite laser to burn a neat line on the ground between the corners.
I have wished for the light sabre mentioned in the initial post before too. We can all dream.
I want a field crew that ties in all of the boundary and topo that they are asked to tie in... THE FIRST TIME THEY GO OUT TO THE SITE.
Oh, and I want them to dump their points every day when they come in, too.
I second the light sabre thing.....that would be sweet...
I want a surefire device to completely eliminate all physical and written and cyber proof that a survey was ever completed if payment in full is not received by a specific date and time......no matter how reliable the client claims to be.
