On screwing in a light bulb - redux

Below is just kind of a parade of comments on screwing in a light bulb.

Holy Cow: adamsurveyor, don’t you mean ‘parody’ of comments?

John1Minor2: so…..just exactly how many surveyors does it take to screw in a light bulb? Maybe I’ll google it if I can’t get a good answer here……

Larry P.: Well, it often takes 4 or 5, but I could show you how you could do it by yourself with a 2-hour training seminar. Just think: two mere hours and you can save on field crew time and have the others out there doing valuable survey work.

Keith: I’m not sure, but you really should take into account that the threading is curved and not straight or you’ll mess it all up.

John Hamilton: Actually, I think the threads are more spiral and not a simple circle

JBStahl: It doesn’t matter the precise mathematical shape, you just have to find a bulb that will fit into the socket regardless of the mathematical precision.

jwahl: You bunch of morons should leave the original bulb in the socket. It is the original bulb, and has its original markings. There is no need to take perfectly good evidence and destroy it.

J. Penry: You might think it’s the original monument in its original position, but let’s look at that ceiling and see. It appears to be a false ceiling, but I think I’ll reference out that existing bulb and tear out that ceiling and see where the old one used to be (er, does anyone got a flashlight?)

Richard Schaut: It doesn’t matter where the original light bulb once was, or even where it is now. It only matters where the owners want it to be. You must correct the description of where the light bulb now belongs due to possession.

Sam Clemons: I’m tired of dealing with light bulbs anyway. God provided us light and dark. It is up to us to appreciate what nature already provides.

Tommy Young: South of the Mason-Dixon Line, it would take one surveyor. Up North, it would take a good 20, and then it might not be done right.

Steve Adams: Gotta agree with y’all there, Tommy.

James Fleming: Apparently, a lot of surveyors practice Omphaloskepsis. Just change the light bulb and quit prattling about it.

Dave Karoly: How many surveyors does it take to change the light bulb? How many land surveyors does it take to change the light bulb?
Change the light bulb, what?
obviously the fixture was installed by a jack leg and we need to install a new fixture at the "true" location I just calculated from the light fixture instructions.

C. Eugene Kooper: The bulb on the surface is where it is, and the point of entry (the adit) simply must be within the limits of the walls themselves. Of course the below-surface rights follow all over the place but must not leave the limits of the claim

Loyal: Gene is absolutely correct. Through much research and physically crawling around inside those walls, I have found that the actual vein doesn’t follow any specific path; but it is all tied to the adit.

Angel: Oh you silly guys, always have to argue over everything. You boys crack me up. All you need is a stepladder and do it yourself. Let’s see now…..lefty loosey, righty tighty…..*crack* oops, dam* thing broke in my hand. Wendellllll

Tim Milton: Lefty-Loosey my butt….. It’s a left-handed threading with an obamabulb in it. That light was bound to go out quickly. It’s time to change the whole socket to a right-handed thread. That way we will have a much longer and more stable light that we can all see with.

Ben Purvis: Milton’s spot on!

Beer Legs: Tim, Tam, Cam, jim-jam….. the light isn’t out at all. You just can’t see because of your one-sided-blindness to the truth. Take your blinders off my friend. This existing left-hand threaded, low-energy light is the only thing that has saved us from running into the walls and destroying the whole house. This light bulb is perfectly stable and should easily last another four years at which time we can go down and buy another left-hand thread bulb without changing the whole socket.

RADU: Down Under we have to turn right-hand threaded bulbs to the left anyway.

GEORGIASURVEYOR: Low-energy riiiight… That’s all a scam generated by Al Goreya. There is no such thing as “low-energy” bulbs. You should see big-Al’s mansion, he has enough standard and halogen bulbs to light up all of Georgia.

Sicillian cowboy: The claim about Al Gore using halogen lights is proven false as shown on snopes.

Major_Gordie: So, what do you think? You think snopes is the end-all, always right source for everything? You don’t know how they get their “facts”. Maybe you can one day learn to reason and figure things out for yourself instead of blindly believing everything you read.

Gunter Chain: Actually, Low-energy light bulbs such as fluorescents are proven to save money energy and last much longer than the standard bulbs. See the following link with the appropriate charts and graphs. This is a scientific fact.

Both R Old: There are a lot more that last only a little while and then come apart when you take them out!! I just wish it didn’t take so many folks to change one!!

evelyn: First you should look at the light bulb and make sure it needs changing. If it doesn’t leave it alone, and if it does just do what it takes to change it and not get electrocuted.

Julie Immler: It takes 20 guys and a case of beer, or one woman and a step-stool……

FL/GA, PLS.: Now Julie, don’t you think that’s a little sexist? (Oh wait, SWMBO says she agrees with you)

Money Penny: Or one surveyor and a wife to tell him how to do it…..

jud: 20 liberal surveyors to debate whether the light bulb should be changed, whether the light bulb wants to change, and to get the government to set aside a million dollars to pay for it to be change……or one conservative surveyor.

Farsites: Yeah, right, like the liberals and conservatives don’t both spend as much as each other. Pork barrel spending is rampant by both parties and needs to be stopped. Turn it left, try it right, just get it installed and let’s figure out a new lighting system.

ted dura dura: I could do it myself without a ladder and in 5.3 seconds. Even though I’m 5’5”, 210 lbs, and over 60, I could jump up, unscrew the old light bulb and have the second bulb installed before coming back down. You bunch of wusses. Now if you leave it to a bunch of stupid #$^&!@@ and %$@(()+=_’s it will take 20 of them at least an hour. They think the day is one big break-time.

Wendell: watch it there bub, I don’t want to have to ban you again. I changed your racial epitaphs to symbols for now.

Holy Cow: Vat iz dis ting you call lihgt bubl? Enny tie to lihgtskware?

adamsurveyor: “C RTX’E QETXJ T XTFWJ VCMPE HAVH TXO UGDW EPTX C RTX T DAJW DWUTDF GD T IAVMWD TRECGX.” EWXXWQQWW NCVVCTUQ.

Dan B. Robison: Dang Tom that almost took me a whole minute. It would have helped if you hadn’t misspelled “vulgar” with an “E” instead of an “A”.
“I can’t stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action.” Tennessee Williams

John Giles: Well, I wrote a sonnet about it……let me get it and print it for you.

tolinghouse: Ferget those sonnits and digging in the sealins, I rote a rednecs guide for changing a light bulb, if I can only find it. Email me if you want a copy.

BigE: TY!!! How you been bro! tried to call you the other day. You know me and the crew changed a light bulb lickity split when I was surveyin’ a couple of years back. Send me a copy of your book though so I can refrence it. It reminds me about when I had a monitor go out while I was writin’ some high-end code. It made it real hard. Maybe I can write a program to change the light bulbs in the future with your guide.

Holy Cow: Ty, I think you misspelled ‘sonnets’. Using “sealins” instead of ceilings changes the whole meaning of your sentence.

(to be continued)