If you have any children in your household,
This loses a little in translation when it's written down but you will get the point.
What do you call a pig with three eyes (actually it's "i's")?
answer: Pi-i-ig!
That was the best joke of the day at the dinner table.
James
Tap, tap
Is thing on?
Rough crowd.
I know; I've been there.
Nothing wrong with the material; it's just the crowd.
Don
What goes: 99, thump, 99, thump, 99, thump?
A centipede with one wooden leg.
Well, I knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
> Well, I knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
What was the name of his other leg?
How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb?.
Just one but it will take 6 appointments.
Why don't witches ever have babies?
Because their husbands have hollow weenies.
What looks like a dog, runs like a dog and sounds like a dog?
A dog, silly.
What goes: clop, clop, clop, clop, bang, clop, clop, clop, clop?
Amish drive by shooting.
What did the fish say when he hit his head?
Dam!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh
ghoti
That's gh as in enough, followed by o as in women, followed by ti as in action.
latest one heard here from the 10 yr old ...maybe one too many times
has been..
"Hey What is under there?
kid-"I'm hungry!"
"Oh hi Hungry, pleased to meet you."
"Haha not funny, Dad."
-------------------------
kid-"I feel like a hamburger."
"That's funny, you don't look much like a hamburger."
I knew a 4 year who would totally crack up with this one:
What is clear on the outside and grey on the inside?
An elephant in a baggie!
kid- "I'm thirsty"
Me- I'm Friday, come over Saturday and we'll have a sundae.
Former Employee not named Frank: "We need to talk, can I be frank about this...?"
Me: "Sure Frank, what's up"?
He was known thereafter as "Frank", LOL.....
Really?
Maybe for your kids - not for mine, thanks.
A Papa Mole, a Mama Mole and a Baby mole were getting ready to take a walk one day. The Papa Mole poked his head out the door and said, "I smell sweet sweet Maple Syrup." The Mama Mole squeezes up beside him and says, "I smell sweet sweet honey." The Baby Mole, trying to squeeze in, but can't, says, "All I smell is Molasses.":-)
I would tell this one to my kids, but they are all adults now.. 😛
> Why don't witches ever have babies?
>
> Because their husbands have hollow weenies.
Why don't gypsies have babies? Because they have crystal balls.
-----------------------------------
What's brown and sticky? A Stick.
----------------------------------
Knock, Knock.
Whose There?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOO.
