I'm listening to local talk radio this afternoon and these guys got to talking about punishments they/we used to get when we were and what would work in today's world.
No one dares dish out an ass whopping or wash out of foul mouth with soap like some of us did. They have been getting plenty of stuff from the caller's.
Some of these funny.
One lady calls in saying her husband is a genius. They have 3 early teenage boys. When any of them gets in trouble, her husband takes the bedroom door off. No privacy for a teenage - hmmm. That sure would have bugged me.
Back in my day, we would get grounded and not allowed outside - sometimes for a couple weeks. That wouldn't work today and someone suggested to make your kid go outside and stay outside until dark. Better yet, take away their phone, buy them a bike, a football, baseball, basketball, etc.
This one made me laugh my ass off:
This one guy had came home late one day. Apparently he was hanging out with and watching construction workers build something. (I used to do that as well.) When he got home, he got questioned about where he'd been for so long. His response: "I've been hanging out with the f....ng construction guys!". His dad immediately ordered him to go get a switch and the boy's response was "go get it your f...ng self, these guys weren't electricians!".
True or not, but mighty funny!!!
E
Sadly, "do it I'll take your Ipad away" has become the phrase of choice for my wife to the kids.
My youngest son and his wife started their family a few years back with two boys now six and almost four.
I was having a heart to heart with my son about raising kids. I don't remember what he had asked me, but my reply was, "Whop their ass."
The boys were very young at the time. My son began to explain to me how things had changed. And even though he had been raised with a minor amount of corporal tweaking, that wasn't the way anymore according to him. Time-outs and other mamby-pamby maneuvers were going to be their choice. I told him, "Let me know how that works out for ya".
We were over visiting a few months later and the kids were showing their butts. My son snatched them up and gave them a swat on the backside....
I didn't say a thing.;-)
I remember when I was about 13 and discovered smoking cigarettes was cool, or at least thought it was. For about a week.
Came home one afternoon, had dinner, joined the parents on the front porch so they could enjoy their coffee & a smoke. My dad handed me one of his Camel non-filters and asked if I needed a light. "...no dad, I don't smoke..."
It seems they smelt the smoke on my breath before dinner.
Then he got out a clean white handkerchief and asked me to blow into it. All clear. Then he did. All clear. Then he took a puff from his Camel, inhaled, then blew into a different spot. Kinda clear.
Then he took another puff, didn't inhale, blew into a different spot. Pure brown stain. Then he informed me that all the stuff from his second puff wasn't in his lungs, and that all the stuff from his first puff was in his lungs.
I learned a lesson there
Yes, you have to be careful about physical punishment, but punishment that is physical is okay. There is always flower beds that need weeding or walks to shovel or even moving that pile of firewood back to the other side of the yard where it was yesterday before you talked back to your mom 😉
Nice distinction, Scott. How to be physical without getting physical.
On another note:
Have I ever mentioned how many times I've been touched down in T.C. on my way to the Soo?
It's like a second hometown almost.
You're danged near a yooper, aren't you.
🙂
Don
A really good wakeup call can be mighty effective. What that might be can take many forms. The important part is to get their attention and not lose it for a bit. They tend to remember things that are out of the ordinary.
We had kinda like two sets of kids. The first two with a gap before the last two. The first two were given spankings when needed. We were always careful to keep anger out of it and did it with love. When the last two came along, that practice had become not so socially acceptable. I know there were some that went too far. It was on the news that parents were going to jail for spanking. We decided that we should use other forms of discipline such as time outs and other more socially acceptable methods. Of the four children, we had many more issues with the younger two. I can't be positive, but I do believe that the behavior and discipline methods are related. As we are expecting our first Grandchild in February, the topic came up recently. I asked our oldest, now 25, how many times he thought we spanked him. He laughed and said "every day". I then asked him how he thinks that affected him. He answered "I think it made me a better man. It taught me respect for you and Mom". Take it for what its worth, that's our experience.
A pat on the back develops character
IF applied young enough, hard enough and low enough.
I was "spanked" regularly, but I only remember one that I didn't "earn".
Andy
A pat on the back develops character
> IF applied young enough, hard enough and low enough.
>
> I was "spanked" regularly, but I only remember one that I didn't "earn".
>
> Andy
Ditto that Andy. I remember a couple years in high-school when my grades were mediocre at best. My step-dad made a bet with me. I'd get $2 for every B and $5 for every A. Taking away my TV for Cs and Ds just didn't work. It was amazing the turn-around. I went from a C and D student to straight As immediately. And, made the Dean's List. After they realized I was easily capable, the praise went away and so did my grades. That was about the time I was sent to live with Dad and my step-Mom. Not too surprising I about graduated HS a year early but the school said I needed one more class for which there was no summer school for. So, my last year in HS was mostly study hall and the baseball team. I had already taken every advanced class that school had to offer and aced them all. At the time I was told I was the only student in the school's history to have taken both advanced biology and physics at the same time.
AS to the "pat on the back" as Andy put it: the running joke in our house was that I was the "Master Genius". I kind of liked that title and it certainly had the tendency to make me live up to it.
I never got real serious ass-whooppin that weren't needed but that was when I was way younger. I never did anything deserving of that when I got older.
Anyway...
E.
my brother and his wife were originally of that opinion. By the time the oldest was 4 and the youngest was 1, they had revised their opinions to the point that sometimes it is appropriate, but still not the first choice. Which is as it should be.
Now the oldest is 21 and starting his JR year in college and the younger one is starting his Senior year in HS. Both are A students and good athletes. The oldest one did his first two years at a JuCo on a scholastic scholarship while playing Basketball for the JuCo. The younger one and his bunch won the State AA basketball champion ship last year and were runners up in baseball in the fall and made the semifinals in the spring.
Seems to have worked well. The judicious application of pressure to the seat of their learning.
B-)
I think effective discipline is dependent on the capabilities and intelligence of the parent coupled with the intelligence and desires of the child. My oldest son figured out early in life what would get him spanked and simply didn't do it, although I did ground him until Christmas one summer. My youngest son needed a physical reminder often.
The last response to my dad at 16 would have had my head taken off.
> Yes, you have to be careful about physical punishment, but punishment that is physical is okay. There is always flower beds that need weeding or walks to shovel or even moving that pile of firewood back to the other side of the yard where it was yesterday before you talked back to your mom 😉
Maybe, but not down here. I tore my kids up until they were about 5. My son is 16 and hasn't needed a whipping in about 8 years. My daughter is 12 and hasn't needed one in about 2 years.
We live on a farm, so your idea of punishment, is after school chores and weekend projects. Not saying you're wrong, but for different areas, different tactics are needed and when the kids all have physical work, every day, a belt across the butt does wonders.
:good:
I heard the same joke, except mom got rid of her two kids who were whining that there was nothing to do, so she told them to go watch the construction down the street. When the kids came home she was trying to hang a picture and asked them how it looked where she was holding it and one of the kids said "move it a _____-hair left". She told him to go get a switch...and you know the rest.
Another old joke on the subject...
This mountain man came into town with his kids. They had never been in town before and the old man told them he wanted them on their best behavior. They seemed to be handling it pretty well, and he took them to a local diner. The waitress came over to take their order. She asked the little boy what he wanted and he said he'd take a f**ing burger. So dad reached over and slapped the kid so hard the boy fell off his chair. The waitress was startled but went ahead and asked the daughter what she wanted. She said "I don't know but I sure as he** don't want no f**ing burger."
The belt is still a good tool for the young-ens, but you better be right in their eyes before the first swing.
By being right I mean that you are living a good clean example of what you are preaching, before you you even consider making a swing with leather.
A kid will not listen to a hypocrite, they know the difference at a early age and that is a fact.
Randy
Thanks Tom!!! That was bloody hilarious.
Something that my elders enacted caused me to be here today
That best I have to offer was a result of strict application of reality at proper timings
It takes parents who care, a village that supports and a society that wants the best from everyone
It helps when all that happens
Sometimes that does not happen and the process can take a lifetime to begin
Prepare yourself before you give a minor access to anything new
It is a lifechanger for them and everyone
:sun:
