I had my colonoscopy this morning, a procedure I strongly recommend. The procedure itself is nothing -it's the "no food" the day before that hurts. I was obsessing over peanut butter on toast all day.
So anyway, afterwards the nice lady is going over the checkout instructions with me: No driving a car today, don't make any critical decisions, and don't sign any important papers...and sign here.
She said it with a straight face.
haw haw haw
🙂
N
I second that suggestion.
My Dad died of colon cancer 50 years ago. Today, they likely would have found it and he'd have been OK.
I am a big fan of toast and peanut butter too. Ever notice how, right after you take a big bite, and especially if the bread is grainy and chewy, the phone will ring? No matter how you try, you cannot rush that.
Ken
> My Dad died of colon cancer 50 years ago. Today, they likely would have found it and he'd have been OK.
I've lost 2 brothers in law in the past 3 years to colon cancer. They didn't have the tests until it was too late. If you don't go, medical science won't help you.
> I've lost 2 brothers in law in the past 3 years to colon cancer.
Wow. Sorry for your loss.
The title of your post brought me here....
Say what? What's the word?
Can't imagine singing that to my doctor :-O
Colonoscopy - Like an alien abduction, but you pay for it !
Man, you're not suppose to read all that crap you sign anyway. It not only relieves them of any liability if you seize up on the table, but you probably signed over your carcass to be dedicated to the Teaching Hospital, should that moment arise.
I am a fan of preventative medicine in general. But I am not a fan of being the subject of scrutiny, particularly that kaleidoscope...err..colonoscopy.
The only good thing about the procedure is the dope. Knock me out and wake me up when it's over...pleeeze!
>knock me out and wake me when it's over
My complaint was that they did too good a job of knocking me out. I wonder how many million brain cells I lost. I'm told it was over an hour after the procedure before I could function to get dressed, and I was halfway home before I started remembering anything. That was weird, riding along and suddenly I realize I know where I am but have no recollection of getting there.
Yes, getting the right dosage is crucial. I've been told
that people do a lot of talking while waiting to "come out
of it." I always wondered what I might have said. Especially
if the Doctor and nurse have a big smile on their face.
Colonoscopy - Like an alien abduction, but you pay for it !
I don't know what's pictured in the illustration but if IRRC, they actually use something similar in size to 0AWG welding cable....
relax they said.... you can watch it up there on the screen, they said....
Colonoscopy - Like an alien abduction, but you pay for it !
Well, after seeing those welding cables, I'll just have to take my chances.
I've already had two colonoscopies and am currently age 48. The first was around age 34 and the second at age 44. The first time there were about 7 non-cancerous polyps found. I believe there were two found the second time. If you don't want to get this procedure done, ask yourself what 'peace of mind' is worth to you. I chose to be awake both times and watch the procedure on the screen.
You're a better man than I, J.P.
The way I look at it, if God had wanted us to see up our own stove-pipe he would've put an extra eye down there. Guts make me queasy...particularly my own.
I got some pictures, though. The wife stopped me from using them to make our Christmas cards that year...some people just don't have a good sense of humor.
I've tried to explain to the doctors over the years that was one-way traffic down there. They never listen...:pinch:
> I got some pictures, though. The wife stopped me from using them to make our Christmas cards that year...some people just don't have a good sense of humor.
>
I know what you mean. Me motherinlaw would not understand that for a Christmas card either!
🙂
N
Wakey wakey - YOWZA!
Huh. I was awake for the entire thing. Watched it all. Felt uncomfortable pressure, too, during the "turns". :-O
The signature has gotten so overused and minimalized (if that's a word) these days, it's almost as good as not signing for anything.
I once grabbed my wifes checkbook for her new Avon business with nearly no money in it, and paid all my bills at the end of the month including the house payment. Later she started getting pink slips for each check for insufficient funds and $25 charge for each. I called them and got it straightened out, but it wasn't even her signature on them, it was mine and then never check the signatures any more.
The last ridiculous signature I had was at our vets. They just have an electronic signature pad with not statement to sign. Just a thin screen to sign. They ask you to sign it and have the signature transferred to their printout. You don't even get a chance to read what you are signing. I have made my signature on official papers I sign a nice neat slow signature and I have started to just put in two squiggly lines for my electronic signatures. There is not check, and no real authorization that you are signing your name, or that you are who you say you are or that you are capable of making the "decisions". (Remember 20 years ago when you would sign your name, and they would check it against your signature on your driver's license? No more.)
Anyway, I agree with the colonoscopy statements...only talking about the silly signature requirements these days.
Hear ya Bruce. The procedure is a cake walk. It's the 2 days of not eating, and for those of us who imbibe in adult beverages it's an equal challenge.
So I called the nurse and just asked:
me: Ok, 2 days of no solid food, just chicken broth, jello, some juices, try to stay with clear things - right?
nurse: correct. Keep it simple and it all goes better.
me: So is vodka considered a clear liquid? Apple juice? How about chardonnay?
nurse: technically yes, but be careful.
me: ok, gotcha there. So lemon flavored jello would be ok?
nurse: yes, but be careful (I think she knew where I was headed)
me: thanks, I'll see ya on Thu at 9 am all good to go.
me off record now: That crap in the chicken broth can isn't even suitable for cats, ick. So I made up a couple dozen lemon jello shots (2 days before), got some apple juice to go with the potato juice, SWMBO had the chardonnay, I drank my prescribed poop maker juice, had some quality throne time, and passed out by 9 pm & slept like a baby. Walked the 2 miles to doc in the morning, took a cab home. Funny part is I wasn't even hungry.
Oh yea, all clear. Next one in 2 yrs. weeeeeee
😛
That was a good one.
B-)
> You're a better man than I, J.P.
>
> The way I look at it, if God had wanted us to see up our own stove-pipe he would've put an extra eye down there. Guts make me queasy...particularly my own.
>
> I got some pictures, though. The wife stopped me from using them to make our Christmas cards that year...some people just don't have a good sense of humor.
>
> I've tried to explain to the doctors over the years that was one-way traffic down there. They never listen...:pinch:
shame on her.
Those would have made great cards.
ROTFLMAO just thinking about it.
B-)
