He's a poet an' don't know it
Holy Cow, post: 398527, member: 50 wrote: Don't know that I've ever seen Shinola, but I prefer to believe that I do know s*** from Shinola.
Shinola, for those who don't know, was a shoe polish. I found that out from a guy at work not long ago.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shinola_%28shoe_polish%29
paden cash, post: 398539, member: 20 wrote: She's so buck-toothed she could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence.
Which reminds me of this ditty by Homer & Jethro:
[MEDIA=youtube]LRSzXcQDBgM[/MEDIA]
Why that's slicker than cat shit on linoleum.
He'd rather climb a tree and lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth.
She's so crooked that when she dies they're gonna have to screw her in the ground.
Cuter than a speckled pup under a red wagon.
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his nose.
Grinning like a mule eating briers.
Don't get me started, I could be here all day.
Andy
Yu got dat rite...
http://www.quiznatic.com/can-you-translate-11-ebonic-words-/index.html 😉
Busier than a puppy with two peckers.
Dis can be!
Some days that are best decribed as
"Like two monkeys humping a football."
Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?
People on the Internet say that the origin was The Big Lebowski but I had heard it often years before the movie.
Ole Jim Petty from Winslow AR on
the old board had a saying that I liked;
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room
full of rocking chairs.
Robert Hill, post: 398579, member: 378 wrote: Does the Pope sh!t in the woods?..
...or any other variant thereof...
Then there are:
How busy are you?
- Busier than a cat covering up ship on a tin roof
- I been running around like a blind dog in a meat house
- Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kickin' contest
- It looked like two wildcats fighting in a gunny sack
Were they pretty well organized?
- They was running around like Chinese fire drill
So, how did he look?
- He had a grin on his face like a possum eating ship
What sort of character is he?
- He's okay, but he ships a little close to the house
Whatever happened to old so-and-so?
- He went to take a ship and the hogs got him
General characterization of some fancy something:
- It was built like a two-story outhouse.
- he/she had a head that had worn out three bodies.
And then, of course, there is the weather.
Was it raining heavily?
- It was a frog strangler
- It was rainin' like a cow passing on a flat rock
Was it windy?
- It was blowin' like an Okie divorce and someone was fixin' to lose a trailer
- Half the farms ended up in the next county
My fave: Slower than an Okie funeral with only one set of jumper cables.
How hard was it?
- harder than a minister's appendage at a two-ring wedding.
Some from my old man-
(regarding my cooking) Son, you couldn't boil guts for a bear
Dumber than a sack full of hammers
Not the sharpest spoon in the drawer
The road over to Mill City is crookeder than a plate full of guts
My grandmother used the phrase "Not worth a hill in a row of beans."
A friend's dad told us he quit drinking because every morning he'd look in the mirror and see a "bucketful of mad a$$holes" staring back at him.
"Ain't got the sense god gave a goose"
"A chicken's brain is smaller than a pea and they know to come in out of the rain"
"If it had been a snake it would have bit ya already"
"If he had a brain he would be dangerous"
"He's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"
"Everything that young man learned today left before the bell rang"
"If dumb were dirt, he'd have about 40 acres"
If brains were gasoline he wouldn't have enough to run a piss ant's moped one lap around the inside of a Cheerio.
Kent McMillan, post: 398593, member: 3 wrote: How hard was it?
- harder than a minister's appendage at a two-ring wedding.
Harder than Chinese Arithmetic.
