Simply observe the bear's technique
First, find a bear. Second, wait for bear to answer the call of nature. Third, repeat until properly woods trained.
One clue to the bear's favorite dumping spot is the roll of Charmin on a limb nub.
I like the horizontal tree to squat on if available. The most common routine is to find a 4"-6" tree, grab it and lean back. I also raid the napkin bin at every fast food joint I stop at to keep the truck console full of "scratch paper".
In the early 90's I had to "go" after lunch one day and went a couple hundred yards from where we had stopped for lunch and found a nice laid over tree. We had an older gentleman with us that had been a lifelong rod/chainman. I had just dropped trow and sit on the log when he walked up and sat about 20' away on the same log and carried on a conversation with me through the grunting.
At the time it was weird. The fellow passed away last year, but I learned a lot from him and we were lifelong friends.
The trick is to find a slight hill and face down hill. You don't want to $(@t and fall back in it. Also, clean the area well with the machete and dig a slight hole. After a while, it's like hitting a spittoon and most land owners don't appreciate a large pile of feces on their property, so I bury mine.
When I was 12 and I began surveying, I always was scared I'd use a point ivy leaf. Then, by some miracle, when I was 15, I realized I knew nearly every tree in the woods and there was little chance of that. Magnolia leaves, if you can get some, make TP that charmin can't compete with. Otherwise, the Southern Red Oak are generally large enough to not get "messy". A good hickory leaf works in a pinch. 🙂
Brad
My wife works a lot of weekends and I used to play a lot of golf on the weekends, especially those weekends. I took my kids with me. My daughter would tell me she had to go. She was like 3 or 4. I would hold her hands on the "Tee Tee Box" and she would do her number 1. One day several older gentlemen saw this and had noted it a few other times (she was a little girl so....), anyway, at the end of the round, one of the old guys said something. I reminded the old man that it took more of a man to raise a girl than a boy and two of his partners agreed (both had raised three girls some 10 years my senior at the time).
You did good daddy. My daughter still remembers and speaks about it, albeit a bit embarrassed at nearly 14 though.
> I had just dropped trow and sit on the log when he walked up and sat about 20' away on the same log and carried on a conversation with me through the grunting.
>
> At the time it was weird.
The latrines at Ft. Leonard Wood will break anybody of thinking that's weird. What's weird is rubbing knees with the guy sitting next to you...
I used to work in Chicagoland area
And did construction staking, and more.
Well, one day we were working, in the median. Setting offset stakes for installing concrete drain structures, for additional drainage. I had to do a number one, So I hopped up into the new concrete manhole, and looked nonchalant... soon the cars started honking.... when I got back to the inst, The boss said "Given em a peep show, huh?". I looked. That manhole had a huge opening in the side, that I did not see, as I was in a hurry!
I can do my business anywhere. It's a surveyor thing.
N
Paden - here's the BOOK
I didn't write it so don't blame me for the title...
http://www.amazon.com/How-Sh*t-Woods-Edition-Environmentally/dp/1580083633
Andy
Replace the "*" in the title with an "I" to get the correct link.
August 3rd, 1989 - My life as a civilian ended when the twin engine puddle jumper from Knoxville landed in St. Louis and we were met by a couple of Drill Sargents from the Ft. Leonard Wood Reception Battalion. Most of that first day is blur of trying not to screw up or draw attention to myself lest I become the next target. Our 'tour' of the tenderbox barracks with the check-to-check toilet facilities stands out as one of the moments when I had a fleeting thought that perhaps Momma's rules for living under Momma's roof might not be as onerous as I had thought.
One of the project managers I work with keeps his toilet similar to this in his truck, without the camouflage.
I had an I-man tell me a story years ago about the previous RPLS he worked for. They were driving back into San Angelo and there were no facilities, no trees, nothing. He had to go "now". He asked the boss to pull off the side of the highway and he grabbed the paper and proceeded to pop a squat next to the truck. Survey crew hijinks followed as the boss put it in drive and drove a 100 yards down the highway, mid-business. The I-man tells me that he gave quite a few cars something to look at before he concluded his efforts.
Round these parts in summer, it pays to poke the ground a bit with a stick to make sure you're not about to squat and bare yourself to a nest of yellow jackets. I can tell you from personal experience, they do not appreciate being defecated on. Then to try running with your britches down around your ankles and clean up not quite complete to escape their wrath. A lesson not to be soon forgotten. :pinch:
Fort Lost in the Woods. I was there end of 72. Is that a recent picture? Not that I remember all that well, but that is probably the same as when I was there. I might even have cleaned some of them, we all had our turns.
I don't know how many times I heard a DI say "I ain't your mother" to the troops.
Takin' care of business in the woods...on snowshoes
Ya ain't a pro until you have "done it" while wearing snowshoes, in 6-8 feet of snow...and NOT had "it" follow you around for the rest of the day!
B-)
In '89 only the reception barracks were still the old WW2 style wooden buildings. All basic training and regular duty barracks that I saw were more modern brick and concrete buildings.
Takin' care of business in the woods...on snowshoes
> Ya ain't a pro until you have "done it" while wearing snowshoes, in 6-8 feet of snow...and NOT had "it" follow you around for the rest of the day!
>
> B-)
Snowballs make the best wipers. you can form a nice little wedge and really get in there to do a clean job. Sure, it's cold, butt it's also wet; which makes the hole procees so much better. On the whole, it feels pretty good
I found this on Pintrest:
It works good; in a pinch; when there isn't a convienent wooded area....
Dougie
Takin' care of business in the woods...on snowshoes
Amen to that! ... and works wonders on hemorrhoids to boot! :clap: :clap: :clap:
Radar
If you just cut the bottom out of that bucket you won't need a "liner".
Andy
:good: :good: :good: had someone do that to me with number 1 not number 2:pinch:
After coming home a couple of times with only one sock, I never leave the office without the 4" soft white flagging. Keep it in a coffee can in the back of the truck.
My daughter can't run for public office. We live in the country and her mom taught her how to TCB in the great outdoors. After repeating the process on the playground while in kindergarden, she was written up by the principal. I explained to her that the event was now on her "permanent record".
