Went out with a woman for a little while whose friend warned me that she was the Queen of PMS and proud of it.?ÿ Turned out the friend was absolutely correct about that.?ÿ I thought Linda Blair's body-double was the only female whose head could spin completely around while spewing green pea soup containing some sort of battery acid. (Reference to The Exorcist for you young ones)
The first word is the most important word of whatever it was she said.?ÿ If she would just insert about a half dozen minor words first, it would greatly help move things along.?ÿ Saying, "I was told this morning by CLAIRE that SHERYL is getting a DIVORCE." is much better than, "Sheryl is getting a divorce, according to Claire."
Anyone must have my attention first if they expect me to hear the first few words.?ÿ Waitresses are a pain because they sneak up behind you and say "Water?"?ÿ I explain that after two grandmothers, a mother, a mother-in-law, a sister-in-law, two wives, three daughters and two granddaughters, I can no longer hear female voices.?ÿ Doesn't work at all on waiters.
I think I live dangerously akin to Mr. Cow... but idk if the spouse always appreciates the humor in it that I try to add. Hopefully the two little boys will make her laugh more at us haha
Sounds like PMDD.
Was married to the same for 7.5 years. They talk about presidential graying....after the divorce people who saw me commented on how much more gray I seemed to look. It's real.those years I'll never get back, but at least I survived.
A response of "Shot who?" can liven up any conversation to which one has not been paying attention.
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Then she whaps you in the head with a box of crackers
In my case it would probably be a frozen pork tenderloin. ?ÿ ?????ÿ
And when he's done he grabs a Sammie and sits at those lunch tables to watch the next bloke..... ???ý?ÿ
BTW, I just finished reading this thread to my better half.?ÿ She is still laughing.
I have been married 32 years to a wonderfully supportive, highly intelligent woman with two degrees, who runs the business end of our empire for us, which is great because I don't like paperwork but love going out surveying. As to the original question, I cannot tell her anything without her asking a question in response. That is just the way she is hard wired. It cannot be stymied.?ÿ
Been married 36 years, lived with her 4 years before.?ÿ Never had an argument.?ÿ She does her things I do mine. She asked once how come there were getting to be "more of those tubes" (flyrods) in my man cave.?ÿ I simply said "don't make me start counting shoes".?ÿ That ended that. We have peaceful, loving and harmonious relationship.?ÿ She just told me she's going to Iceland Wednesday by herself for two weeks to trek.?ÿ I just asked what time she needs a ride to the airport because I'm going to the bush cabin.?ÿ?ÿ
?ÿ
Then she whaps you in the head with a box of crackers
In my case it would probably be a frozen pork tenderloin. ?ÿ ?????ÿ
Better than a Twisted Tea!
The wife and I have been together for just over 19 years and married for 14.?ÿ Our humor is our strength.?ÿ She likes to be front and center with her antics.?ÿ I'm more of a sit back in the peanut gallery and throw darts at opportunistic times.?ÿ Each of our boys are exactly like one of us.?ÿ You've got to be on guard at all times with her.?ÿ Whether she's yelling two aisles over to see if you find your hemorrhoid cream or doing a full-on narcoleptic fall out of an elevator, you just never know what's going to happen.?ÿ ?ÿShe's already got the boys running for the door at school drop off as she's yelling sweet nothings out the window with some 80's hair metal blaring.?ÿ ?ÿGotta love it!
Lost the hearing in one ear a while back. For two years I wouldn't tell which ear. Worked great. Then she figured it out, boy was the payback hard!
You are blessed.?ÿ You already knew that, though.
@holy-cow Most definitely!?ÿ She's a dandy of a wife and mother!?ÿ I have to tell this story...We were on the Bud Light Party Cruise II in the Bahamas many years ago.?ÿ It's midnight, we have a snoot full?ÿ and we're sitting in a pizza buffet with some friends, the place is packed.?ÿ We have put away a lot of pizza and have accumulated quite the pile of crusts on a plate.?ÿ My wife grabs the plate to go dispose of it, spins around, takes about two steps and goes down!?ÿ It's raining crust on every table within 5 feet.?ÿ You hear a collective gasp and OH SH!TS from the other patrons.?ÿ Our friends and I go into uncontrollable belly laughs, tears and doing everything not to pee our pants.?ÿ We didn't know it was coming...you never do.
BTW, I just finished reading this thread to my better half.?ÿ She is still laughing.
So is mine, I told her the OP was by some deranged surveyor that got loose from the office. (she bought it!)?ÿ ?????ÿ
Hand her some chocolate and ask her if she needs anymore...
