O.K. , am uncomfortable with...getting old.
I'm old now, but I once was young, very young; a child; and when I was a child I learned how to act around adults. My parents taught me. They weren't abusive by any means, but I learned many important things from them: to be polite; that adult conversations were not to be interrupted by children; that acting up led to an appropriate response; that the only reason you were allowed to be in the room when adults were talking was because you had learned to listen and keep your mouth shut unless you had something....no, I'm just going to leave that at “keep your mouth shut.”
Am I alone in missing the days when children had respect and manners and consideration for parents...elders...old farts...me?
Also: get the hell off my lawn!
Don
> Am I alone in missing the days when children had respect and manners and consideration for parents...elders...old farts...me?
Actually, wasn't it your PARENTS for whom children had respect? Isn't that an important detail? Just asking.
We always think the older generation had better manners, better earnings, better neighborhoods, better cost of living, better education...and so on.
I bet my son would look back 20 years from now & say the same thing.
Hindsight always looks better.
You're not alone, Don..
..there is a whole world of folks out there under 25 that are not worth a cold cup of piss.
Living in a "college town" I get to see the cream-of-the-crop of some of the most indignant and entitled brats that money can buy. And there's a thick crop of them these last few years. I had one that worked...errr.. was employed by me for a while. He's gone. His new "tats" and his cell phone was priority. Meanwhile he always seemed a little light in the wallet when it came to gas and lunch, copping an attitude when no one would "loan" him a sawbuck.
It seems most of my life a "college kid" was someone striving to get an education. Living in modest quarters and driving $100 cars was almost a right of passage. I see some of the rudest and most insipid folks running around town here with new BMWs sporting campus parking stickers...and mostly out-of-state plates.
I've got a buddy that owns a couple of the houses here in the 'hood and makes his retirement by renting to these pricks. He actually got sued last year because a tenant's dog ate a mushroom in the yard and "required" a $1200 vet bill. The lease plainly stated NO PETS. The suit was eventually thrown out of court, but it cost him a few bucks to be represented properly. At midnight the day the lease was up he shut off the water and began removing the front door at sunup. Told the kid living there (that had sued him over the dog) to get out, it was time to remodel. He had the utilities shut off that day. Hey, a lease is a lease...
Anyway, I agree with you, but I'm not sure it has all that much to do with our age. Someone has failed to parent an entire generation properly and society must bear the consequences. I do believe there are still some good kids out there and respect is alive and well, although probably not as prevalent as in years past.
You're not alone, Don..
> It seems most of my life a "college kid" was someone striving to get an education. Living in modest quarters and driving $100 cars was almost a right of passage. I see some of the rudest and most insipid folks running around town here with new BMWs sporting campus parking stickers...and mostly out-of-state plates.
To me, that is more of a reflection upon the class (or lack thereof) of people who can afford to send their kids to college these days.
Wow, I couldn't agree more with all the above comments. I was fortunate to be raised in a Ward & June Cleaver setting, with 3 older brothers. Two of them went in the service (one to Vietnam) other decided to start spawning at around 18, the other went to college as did I (Vietnam was over).
My folks raised all of us with a sense of unwavering self reliance. My dad used to say "people are people are people, just take care of yourself".
I'm not so sure todays 16 yr olds would even understand the concept us geezers live by.
You're not alone, Don..
Why would anyone "send" their child to college? That's his/her job now. Sink or swim. Just get the heck out of the house and stop eating my groceries.
A major part of the attitude discussed above is created by so-called parents who think they must provide everything a child desires throughout their lifetime. Raise them properly in the first 18 years or so until they graduate high school and they will adapt to the real world beyond your neighborhood. Maybe it is joining a branch of the military. Maybe it is technical training. Maybe it is college. Maybe it is working at anywhere that will hire you and learning what it takes to move up to better jobs in the future. It is not mooching off mom and dad for the next 50+ years. The sooner that concept is introduced into the child's mind, the sooner they will begin to embrace it.
My father moved thirty miles and began working at anywhere that would hire him about a month after graduating high school. Three years later after learning a great deal about a number of things and being married he move within two miles of his home and began operating his own business while helping his father run his own business when he had time.
I moved thirty miles from home two weeks after graduating high school to work an assembly line-type job until college classes started 240 miles away a few months later. Nine years later after learning all sorts of things about work, people and the world in general I moved back into the same county where I had grown up bringing a wife and two children with me. On occasion I would help my father with his enterprise when I had some free time. He couldn't help me with my enterprise but would have if he had been able to.
All of my daughters moved from home within one to three months following high school graduation. They picked their colleges and paid their own way. Combined they have five degrees from three different universities. All are doing quite well at their chosen professions. One is married with three kids. One is currently divorced but serious about a fellow with three kids. One is single and loving it. They may report on their successes and failures but do not need help.
Oldest grandchild is 17 and planning to graduate high school a semester early in December. Her plans are to move out no later than January 1 and work her way through college. She has been working at a decent part-time job for more than a year where she has had the opportunity to learn a huge amount about those who will work and those who think they should get paid whether or not they actually do anything to deserve it. She has learned about the unfairness that this world gives you. She has learned how to rathole her funds and not try to "buy" friendship from those around her. On a recent visit, she drove me all over town in her car like an old pro through more traffic than I experience in two months time combined.
"sending" a child to college
> Why would anyone "send" their child to college? That's his/her job now.
I agree. Momma Cash's boys all got a packed suitcase for a HS graduation gift...
Sadly, the answer probably lies in the fact sending them to college is a good way to "get them out of the house" and begin the painful weaning process. A process that apparently nowadays takes ten or fifteen years...
You're not alone, Don..
Among Dad's goals were to get all three of us kids through college and then help us buy a car. He mostly accomplished that.
We graduated HS in '68 through '74. Scholarships, some loans, and frugal living by us (like we were raised) eased his burden for college. When I graduated from college, he gave me half and my grandmother loaned me the other half of the money for my first car. Similar for my sister. My brother dropped out and lost out on Dad's college help, but later went back on his own and finished a degree and now has a job with nationwide supervisory responsibilities.
That scheme was the last financial help he gave us.
You're not alone, Don..
> Why would anyone "send" their child to college? That's his/her job now. Sink or swim. Just get the heck out of the house and stop eating my groceries.
That's fine if you'd rather your child went out and got a job that didn't require more than a high school education. Tuition to a good university is a significant chunk of change these days and worthy of assistance. "Sending" a child to college means making it possible for them to go and to get an education that will be useful to them.
Now, I'll admit that if a son or daughter expressed an interest in studying engineering, I might not want to whip the checkbook out, but would urge them to seek career counseling.
You're not alone, Don..
😉
All good points about young'ns. I teach in a magnet high school that offers visual and performing arts alongside of career and technical training. So my math classes have a mixture of singers, actors, musicians, artists, heating and air techs, diesel mechanics, body shop students, CAD, computer science, and culinary arts students. That is to say, I see all kinds of young people every day.
The first striking thing is the number of students whose last name is different from their mother's last name. Delving deeper, we find lots of shared time; one week with mom, the next with dad, and others so convoluted that an ipad can't keep up with the schedule. The number of kids who are actually homeless or living with a non-relative is astounding.
As to work, this economy runs on teen-aged labor. Fast food and retail couldn't operate without them. My most unusual encounter with a part-time job was with a young man who worked as a welder from 4 am to 7 am every day and then came to school. In his junior year, he W2'd $30,000 plus.
Now, I have my share of encounters with the others, too, and they affect me the same way they affect you. I wish there were an answer, but I can't find one. I see them with two years of college, a mountain of debt and no prospects; bankrupt at age 21.
Good parents are still turning out a superior product; there's just not enough of them.
I hear ya Brother Don. I find myself feeling like that "old bass-turd" from across the street back in 1968. Maybe not that bad.
I could write a good sized book about my past. Don't know what good it would do except to get it off my chest.
My step-parents treated me like sh.....t and did abuse me physically and mentally. Don't know why. Flash forward 30 years later and now I'm a step-dad with 2 daughters. I made DAM sure to never be like the way I was treated.
So here I am near 54 with no kids of my own, no girlfriend. It's just me and the cat. Few friends.
You're not alone, Don..
Fully agree Kent. I think most of us here have pretty much worked since our early years before teens and never even thought about it. We just did. Mow lawns, paper route, clean houses & yards, babysit, whatever.
Me, I've got 3 older now kids who worked their way through college. Mom paid the cell phone bill and that was all the help they got from either of us. One is a nurse, one is an engineer (the brainiac got a free pass to Univ of Mich), one is a environmental tree hugger specialized in septic systems. All happier than a pig in poop and this old man is pretty proud. And they did it on their own.
When they got done with college, I wrote each of them a check for $4K and gave them a big hug. When they got done with the smiling tears, it was worth it.
The other side to your rant is to look at who raised these kids.
Mostly people your age.
If no one has taught them what is right, how can they be lumped with all of the responsibility for their stupidity.
What it really comes down to is...........
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Basically, what needs to happen is for the youngster to be steered in the correct direction by caring adults from the early years, through the middle years, to maturity and leaving home to start out on his/her own at about 18 or so. So-called parents who attempt to shelter the youngster from every perceived ill in the world are not adequately preparing that young person for the realities they must face for the rest of their years.
Don't know where you-all grew up but I have known disrespectful morons ever since I was a kid. But, on the other hand I guess I have heard the old "kids these day" and "get off my lawn" since then too. .....maybe I'm still a kid...? 😀
No, Seb
> The other side to your rant is to look at who raised these kids.
>
> Mostly people your age.
>
> If no one has taught them what is right, how can they be lumped with all of the responsibility for their stupidity.
It was not people my age, I'm a generation removed.
I raised their parents and raised them the way I was raised.
There's a different set of rules now for children from what I can see
Or maybe a different set of rules for everyone.
Maybe that's what I'm missing.
The game has changed.
Don
I ___...well _____...
Well said. I find myself well into the part of life where I am referred to as 'sir', and all the young ladies love me for the sole reason they know they are safe from advance...
A few years ago I began judging high school and college debate. It was encouraging to see that we indeed do have a group of engaged, intelligent and thoughtful kids to take the torch at the right time.
The last few generations have seen an incredible acceleration in the gain of knowledge and the use of what we know. If I have to do without to help my children take part in that it's my choice. Provided they understand it is a sacrifice born of love rather than an entitlement I've done my job...
My 02, Tom
Sheesh, Guys
I wasn’t talking about the new youth and their different perspective and insights or their struggles with coming of age or generational differences that have been analyzed to death on this forum and many others.
I was talking about little kids that misbehave.You know, little brats, spoiled children. That's all.
P.S. to the bionic guy: I’m happy to hear that the kids on the debating team are “engaged, intelligent and thoughtful.”
Man, talk about cherry picking the sample.:-P
Don
