Weirdest client you ever had

Wait'll you git old, youngun. Some varieties of that old saggy skin will rev yer enjins.

All ready have dickie-do disease , belly sticks out further than my dickie-do. That survey was 20 years ago.

I also did a Title Survey of a nudist camp back in the '70's. It was named "Buck's Kin Lodge". The owner had died and I met his widow. She was really an ugly old hag.

We were hired by the Patel Cartel (from Mumbai and Dehli) for construction staking of a multi-story hotel a few years ago. It was the rainy part of the year and the site was knee-deep muck.

Although the dirt contractor and I had decided that work wouldn't begin until things dried up, one of the owners hassled me by phone every day about getting out there and laying the building out. AND he needed to know when we were going to be there because he and his entourage wanted to be there also...I finally gave him a time. We actually wore waders it was so muddy.

As we were setting up five or six airport taxis showed up at the site. Every one of them was full of all the Patel cousins 'n uncles 'n brothers....they were all hugging and kissing and bowing to each other. It was a real East Indian family reunion.

As we got trudged around staking the building corners one of the fellas was walking with us with a set of plans. After we had set a few stakes he pointed to one of the building corners and asked if this was the one we had just set. After I told him yes he waved and hollered back at the rest of his cohorts. All of the sudden the party was on!

A couple of them donned some silly looking robes and a couple of younger men opened the door on one of taxis and helped an old man get out. Possibly the oldest human being I have ever seen in my life, with a sparkly funny robe on also.

They actually carried this old man out through the mud to the northeast corner of the proposed building. A rug was placed on the mud and some incense was lit. I realized we were witnessing a religious ceremonial blessing of the building. This business was serious as a heart attack to these folks...

One of them explained to me their patriarch had to be a part of the ceremony. He had flown in from India and had been staying with family in Houston. The rest of almost two dozen men had come from all over the US. One had even flown in from London.

They really weren't interested in getting the construction up and running..they were interested in getting Pappy Patel to bless their endeavor. He was up in years and apparently they were hurrying to get things done and get him back home. After the ceremony they all took off their muddy-as-hell robes, hugged each other and bowed and kissed Pappy's hands..then climbed back in the taxi for a ride back to the airport.

Had to be one of the strangest things I've ever been a part of. B-)

About two months ago we did an elevation certificate for a motel owned by some Patel's who also operated another motel in the same county seat town. Meanwhile, I am dealing with another Patel on a planned site for a Holiday Inn Express in a different county.

I was told that Patel in Indian for "inn keeper". That isn't true as Patel actually refers to an owner of land (farm land) per the Wikipedia entry for Patel. The following excerpt is also from Wikipedia.....

"Patel Motel" phenomenon
The "Patel motel" phenomenon, as it is popularly known,[5] has made a major impact on the American hospitality industry.

A sizable number of Indian immigrants to the United States came in the 1960s and 1970s. Many of them worked in blue collar jobs and saved up to buy undervalued or dilapidated properties, turning them into businesses.[6] As many as 60% of mid-sized motels and hotel properties all over the US are owned by people of Indian origin. Of this nearly one-third have the surname Patel - a popular one among Indian Gujaratis (those that came from Gujarat).[7][8]

"According to the Asian American Hotel Association (A.A.H.O.A), 50 percent of motels in the United States are owned by people of Indian Origin".[5] A large immigrant population of educated Gujuratis came in the 1960s and 1970s. These Patels are known as founding fathers, having worked hard, saved, and then invested in many properties. Having a steady amount of income and savings, they called over their distant relatives and friends from the villages of India. Upon their arrival, these immigrants would already have financial assistance from the founding fathers and would be able to find employment with them until they could afford to start up their own businesses.[5]

A maximum security women's prison. The same one Bambi escaped from. Everyone wanted to run the gun. It was not very entertaining. A lot of less than attractive inmates.

There have many strange ones through the years. One that stands out in my memory is a fellow who was truly an artist. However, he didn't think or communicate like the other 99.9999 percent of the population. Every conversation with him was a challenge to tear apart and reconstruct into something intelligible. Nice guy, but, the type you would expect to see wearing an aluminum foil beanie while shopping at WalMart. One of those guys who gets you on the phone and then refuses to let you hang up no matter what your excuse might be.

The other thing that was memorable about his job had nothing to do with him. His property was adjacent to a fair-sized home for the elderly. It would make some sense that they had some survey work done before constructing such a valuable structure. So, I entered the building and chatted with the administrator and head of maintenance. They actually had a set of plans with corner monuments shown that we later found to help us do our job. But, as I was walking across the main lobby area to leave I saw many people staring at the large television located there. As I neared the TV I heard the words "Columbine" and "shooting" and "school". Spent the next 20 minutes or so learning what was happening in real time in Colorado.

> They actually carried this old man out through the mud to the northeast corner of the proposed building. A rug was placed on the mud and some incense was lit. I realized we were witnessing a religious ceremonial blessing of the building. This business was serious as a heart attack to these folks...

That's a cool story, but I trust that subsequently you have included your own services for ritual blessing of new construction as a contract item on other projects. I mean, a surveyor definitely stands out from the pack of his so-called "competitors" to offer a service like that.

I did a job for a rocket scientist. Not a weird client - but "unique". Unlike everyone I encounter, who can not fathom the difference between a calculated boundary and an established, monumented boundary line on the ground, this guy almost understood what I was doing. His property was shown on an old subdivision plat and there were a number of goofs on the plat and in the field. His land was relatively complex, and it was rather difficult to make sense out of the plat, but he pointed out several inaccurate interpretations on my part. He read through some of the fine print and made some pretty remarkable conclusions that a few surveyors had not made.

ww CO PLS

Phillipe Pettit, the French high-wire artist. My firm surveyed the location of and designed the cable for his attempted crossing of the Little Colorado River Gorge. He had no concept of much of anything about how the real world works, including money - hie personal assistant did everything for him. He disappeared in the middle of the project after ABC's Wide World of Sports decided not to cover the crossing attempt and never paid most of his bills.

A few years ago a man comes in, needs a title survey to refinance. I write a proposal, he signs it, walks out. He's a continental (recently from the states) about 40, seems OK. A few minutes later he comes back, asks to borrow a few dollars so he can get some food for his dogs and bus fare across the island to his house. He will pay me back when his mother gets her SS check. I decline to loan money.

I do the survey on his mother's new 4 BR concrete house with a pool. It's not quite finished (paint, landscaping etc.) but I see a grand piano in the house. Lots of money has been spent.

The bank does not approve the loan and I don't get paid until a year later another bank needs an update to write a reverse mortgage. I get paid in full in advance.

A year later I survey the same property for a new owner. When the original owner's son got the first payment he took a plane to a nearby island where he died of an overdose. I worry for his mom. She was a sweet old babushka from Estonia, I think.

I don't want to say weirdest, but unique for sure. Too many to list here, but there has been many.

Staking a house foundation 8 times over 2 days. The client brought his easy chair and scaffolding and kept moving it around to check the view he would have from a picture window once the house was built.

Did a topo for a WWTP at a "clothes optional" resort. Some people shouldn't be naked.

Did a boundary line adjustment for a very heavily religious client that did the sage burning and chanting along every line as well as to me and my crew. We got the blessing before we even set up the equipment and she didn't have any ill feelings about us and let us go to work.

Many more......

SD

Once had to survey the underground basement areas in a major city that stick out past the building lines. These are under the sidewalks and most people have no idea they are there. Many were very creepy with old crumbling stone walls that date back to the 1800's.

One location was a major branch of the Wells Fargo bank. I had to meet with the president and explain how we would run elevations to the basement. He asked what each of us would be doing. I said I would have the instrument and the other guy would "hold up" the rod. Wrong choice of words in a bank and I had to then go through a process of making sure I was not there to "hold up" the bank. I guess I could have also said I was going to be behind the "gun".

Apparently there are certain words that cannot be said in a bank without going through a clarification process if an employee hears them spoken.

My boss's boss's boss used to be named Jack. People learned they had to be careful of saying hi to him in an airport.

The neice hired me. Because of the way the family property arrived at being a "family property" and pretty much everyone in the family has now died off, only the neice and her uncle were left. The neice recently (at the time) lost her job and for income, wanted to sell a couple small parcels so she hired me to create them. I told her it would be wise to do a boundary survey first so we could properly plan the two lots into whatever might happen to the rest of the property. About the time I finished the boundary and presented her with a plan (including the two new lots) the uncle stated opposition to selling any of the "family property" and said he would not sign any deed - ever. A few days later, the neice called me, said she would be sending me a check for what I did so far and that "we'll just have to wait until Uncle ____ dies". THAT was a strange request! As it turns out, Uncle _____ died just short of two years ago but I've never heard back from the neice. I'm thinking he left the neice something in his will and she no longer needed to sell anything.

Was on a crew that topo'd a Catholic Sister's Convent in NW OKC. The site is now a development area.

The fence was 8' tall and overgrown with shrubbery. There was a gate and a guard house that was operated by an older gentleman that also took care of the maintenance.
The entire compound was very quiet and secretive. All the single story frame buildings had metal louvered shutters on the widows, drawn tight. The old keeper had to be with us the entire time. We were asked to keep any noise down and limit our conversation to whispers. The truck had to stay outside the gate.

He was a nice enough guy, but when questioned about what was going on, he didn't even know. None of the Sisters were ever outside when he was there. He had a strict schedule he had to follow. All his instructions (and paychecks) always came from the Padre of a Catholic Church about a mile away. He also said he had been instructed to turn his head and walk away from anyone IF he ever by chance ran into any of them. Any maintenance inside any of the buildings required the building to be vacated before he could even enter to change a light bulb.

Although it was a beautiful and quiet place, the creepy factor was way up there. They did ring a bell several times a day, but never heard a peep from a human. They did eat because a kitchen exhaust fan smelled of supper at times.

I found out later it was used by Sisters from all over that required repose and sabbatical rest...whatever that means.

Something like that occurs around here.

One day, it was pouring rain, and all these people were standing out in the middle of a lot, around a hole. They were doing a blessing of some sort before building the house. They put fruit and auch in the hole, then buried it. I believe that the super told me they were East Indian.

Sounds like the Sisters of the Poor.

Ok so I was a young party chief sent from Atlanta to the backwoods north Georgia mountain's to survey a large tract of mountainous lands.

I got out to look for a corner and this bear of a old mountain man came waking down a long hill towards me..looks like no bath for a year or more, trying to decide if he was friend or foe.

He walks right up to me, looks me in the eye, sticks his hand in his mouth and pulls out a tooth from his head.. he says my tooth fell out a few weeks ago and I just keep putting it back in the hole.

He said, my wife told me I'm a old fool but I ain't givin up on this tooth cause I just mix up some toothpaste and baking soda make a paste and stick it back in up in thar.

Then he proceeded to tell me that he chews three full packs of tobacco every day and offers to give me a pack if I wanted one....

That was pretty weird...