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The 20 biggest lies we hear

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richard-imrie
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I'll write you a check for your fee, don't worry, that's the smallest amount I've ever written a check for.


 
Posted : November 20, 2016 7:23 pm
nate-the-surveyor
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GPS don't work in the woods. (IF verified, it is fine)

And, as a corollary of it, IF it says FIXED it is good! Not all fixes are good.

N


 
Posted : November 21, 2016 10:18 am
mattharnett
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I'm not having any problems; I just want to know where my lines are.


 
Posted : November 21, 2016 10:27 am
Monte
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Oh, let's see:
Yeah, They are stripping the cotton now, come on out.
No, the roads are clear (yeah, the highways are, but leave the pavement and...)
The road goes right to the fence corner (which is a canyon away from the survey corner)
yeah, you can get a 4 wheeler to it (if you dropped it from an airplane)
but my favorite is the one mentioned:
Yes, the gate is always unlocked!!


 
Posted : November 21, 2016 8:18 pm
Rich.
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Nothing has changed. (Besides the new fences, deck, addition, pool, cabana, and rock garden)


 
Posted : November 22, 2016 7:42 pm

jaro
 jaro
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No need in actually looking at it first, just give me a rough estimate of cost. I won't hold you to it.


 
Posted : November 23, 2016 7:20 pm
MitchPTD
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"Listen. I know we have 20,000 yards of gravel here. You must have done something wrong. I have been doing this a long time, I know that pile is more then 16,000 yards."
Not sure if a lie actually, but sure happens a lot.


 
Posted : November 24, 2016 9:24 am
holy-cow
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YOU are the only thing holding up closing.


 
Posted : November 24, 2016 6:05 pm
Bruce Small
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From an e-mail received this afternoon: I don't think there have been any changes since the original survey. I am looking forward to working with you. Thanks.

And what are the odds there have been no changes since I surveyed the site fifteen years ago? Methinks I better drive over and look.


 
Posted : November 25, 2016 6:21 pm
6705
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Surveying is easy. here is your equipment, have at er!


 
Posted : November 27, 2016 2:35 pm

holy-cow
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You NEVERRRRRR told me that!!!!!!!!!


 
Posted : November 30, 2016 6:20 pm
wkiernan
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Don't worry, we'll get you dimensioned architectural plans before the day you're supposed to stake that out.


 
Posted : December 1, 2016 7:53 am
Iceman
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while putting level away in truck,contractor asks," Are the cut sheets ready ?? !!! "


 
Posted : December 1, 2016 8:27 am
6705
 6705
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Not really a lie but a funny story...

Here is one today as the hoe operator got ready to dig the frost taper.

Operator "75 inches down that quick"?

Me, "no thats 75mm"

Operator "well how much is that? I only know inches"

Me laughing "we live in canada, its metric man"

Operator "HOW MUCH OFF"?

Me still laughing "3 inches man. 25mm is roughly an inch.

Operator shakes head

Later in the shack all the operators were talking about it. Turns out none of them know metric.

UGGGH we are taught metric our whole lives!


 
Posted : December 1, 2016 6:28 pm
nate-the-surveyor
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I was working on grid... bearings?


 
Posted : December 1, 2016 6:34 pm

NCSpiralGuy
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The corner is next to the end of the guy wire. (I searched and found no such iron in the ground. I computed the position from the adjacent monuments, one of which turned out to be a flat black nail stuck in the ground, I don't know why he used a nail; it turned out to be a lot closer to the power pole than to the end of the guy wire. A rebar which I strongly suspect was the original marker was lying on the ground, bent.)

@Nate: I took a GPS system into the woods. I got fixed mode about a fifth of the TPs I tried. Some TPs I couldn't get a fix on no matter how long I waited.


 
Posted : December 2, 2016 8:26 am
Jim in AZ
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I just need 1 point set so I can see that my neighbors fence is on my property. I don't need a "full-on" survey or anything fancy with those flags on...


 
Posted : December 2, 2016 10:04 am
lmbrls
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Indonesia For Now


 
Posted : December 2, 2016 10:23 am
a-harris
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Realtor says closing is January 16, 2017

Client says closing is December 14, 2016


 
Posted : December 2, 2016 8:58 pm
wfwenzel
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epoch date, post: 400122, member: 485 wrote: I just need one line surveyed.

"Just the 4 points, not a real survey."


 
Posted : December 3, 2016 9:18 am

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