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holy-cow
(@holy-cow)
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Computer is in slo-mo tonight. Sorry about the double post.

To make up for it, here's a bit of bovine humor................

Q: Why don't cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an upset cow?
A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaaaad mooooooooood.

Q: What do you call a cow you can't see?
A: Camooflauged.

Q: How does a cow get to the moon?
A: It flies through udder space.

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Their horns don't work.

Q: What are the spots on black and white cows?
A: Holstains.

Q: What do you call a cow that can't give milk?
A: A Milk Dud.

Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice cream.


 
Posted : June 27, 2017 9:05 pm
paden-cash
(@paden-cash)
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A few years ago I took a stroll across some knee deep grass early one morning and by the afternoon I looked at least as bad as the photographs above. I have never been that completely covered by the little buggers in my life. At my wife's insistence I went to see the family doctor. If nothing else I needed some relief from the itching.

He prescribed an antihistamine by the name of hydroxyzine. While not by any means a connoisseur of prescription drugs I did take the recommended dosage. I slept for 19 hours straight. My wife finally came and checked my vitals to see if I was still alive. The antihistamine did nothing for the bites but the antihistamine did the trick. It knocked me out so quick I only itched while I was awake. The bites took their usual week or two to disappear and I have been known to scratch in my sleep and open a wound.

I still have the antihistamine in the medicine cabinet. It does nothing for chigger bites but is a great relief for occasional insomnia.


 
Posted : June 27, 2017 9:19 pm
FL/GA PLS
(@flga-pls)
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I read somewhere on the internet, so I know it's true, that brown cows only give chocolate milk. BTW Cow, if you are thinking of a new career in stand up comedy, I'd stick to my current occupation. 😉


 
Posted : June 28, 2017 4:59 am
john-putnam
(@john-putnam)
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I'm going to have to use a couple of those on my 7 year old grand daughter


 
Posted : June 28, 2017 8:03 am