Dinosaurs

Did you remind the kid that you had only dirt to play with as a kid and you happy with that?

My driving test involved steering my dinosaur through an obstacle course involving tar pits and flowing lava.

I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature when I took my driving test....the second time. Being born in summer it was hot when I went down to the Dept. of Public Safety on my first attempt to pass my driving exam. I don't remember the exact day, but I will bet it was probably either my birthday or the first day after my birthday the DPS office was open.

Holden and I had spent a week tweaking the '51 Chevy we shared to make sure it passed the "pre-flight" given to all vehicles before the examiner climbed in for the check ride. The horn button was the $0.99 variety that mounted on the steering column because steering wheel mounted Chevy horn buttons all broke before they were 5 years old. And for you youngsters out there, cars didn't use to have blinkers. This old Chevy actually had aftermarket blinkers installed. Holden had attempted his driving test in the same vehicle and had flunked "hand signals 101". The blinkers got installed when he took his test, but had to be fiddled with to make sure they worked. We had control of everything for my first attempt...except the weather.

It was hot-as-hell that day. After signing in you had to get your car in line and wait for an examiner to come get in your car and start. The line was long and on a hill and I kept having to creep up. Needless to say the old Chev was almost steaming hot by the time it came my turn.

Cars didn't use to have tinted windows. The metal where the passenger would hang an arm out the window (to keep from fainting from the heat) was probably about 400å¡ and would singe flesh, you had to be careful. The old Chev smoked a little and had the distinct odor of a farm tractor drifting up with the hot fumes that blew in from the holes in the floor board. I didn't have a dry stich of clothes on me when a uniformed and fully grown "Fat Albert" stuck his head in the window and checked my paperwork. When he got in and shut the door, I could see sweat drops the size of nickels on his brow..he was uncomfortable.

Needless to say, I didn't even make it to the parallel park portion of the test. After a quick trip around the block the instructor had me pull back up to the office. He checked a couple boxes, handed me my test results and told me I could retest in a week. The car springs squeaked as his fat butt got out of the car. I was pissed; I had failed miserably. All the next week I couldn't figure out how I was going to pass the test. I was pretty sure it wasn't my driving ability, but the UN-comfort level in that old car that flunked me. I had a problem.

The day rolled around that I could try again. I was pumping gas at Bill's 66 all morning..what we called "working the drive"..and my oldest brother Cole was changing oil and washing customers' cars in the service bay. He could tell I was bummed and was trying his best to be supportive. I was doing my best to remain sullen while flipping through a coverless and ancient Field and Stream. Our other brother Holden came in a little after lunch and I saw him and Cole scheming on something out in the garage...Cole came up front and asked me if had the money to take my test again. I did. He smiled and told me to "come on." Seems he needed to "test drive" a customer's car he had just serviced. Holden would hold down the fort on the gas sales. I was confused.

Cole pulled around front in Mrs. Hatcher's shiny new canary yellow 1966 Chevelle. Although only equipped with the small V8 and an automatic transmission, it was equipped with something not all cars had back then...air conditioning. I hopped in and away we went. Cole explained we were heading for the DPS and I had better shut up and never tell Bill (or Mrs. Hatcher) that we were "joy riding". I was ecstatic.

Sure enough, old "Fat Albert" was the examiner. The stars had aligned and the line was short..I was up in line in record time. And I'm pretty sure we broke a record for the longest test drive to have ever occurred. Fat Albert didn't even look at his clip-board. All he did the whole time was adjust the A/C vents to point at himself...and I couldn't see a drop of sweat. With power steering I aced the parallel park and Fat Albert had me pull up to the coveted "winner's circle" parking where I could go in and finalize my paperwork and become a member of the motorized public. He congratulated me as he exited the car.

Like I said, I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature that day. Mrs. Hatcher was never the wiser...

paden cash, post: 379039, member: 20 wrote: I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature when I took my driving test...

Dear Mr. Cash:

We at Survey Digest want to thank you for continuing to offer us the opportunity to publish your work. It certainly speaks to a demographic that we have for many years treasured as central to our readership. As you may be aware, however, our magazine has been recently sold to the Google Corporation on what I can assure you are very generous terms, and the new owners have urged us to make certain changes that I'm certain you will see are necessary as we go forward.

If you will give the following notes your writerly attention and resubmit, I have every confidence that yours will be our banner article in the upcoming Jubilee issue.

1. Most readers will be unfamiliar with the sort of gasoline vending arrangements you describe. Can you place the gas pumps outside a convenience store of some sort?

2. The reason that recent sale to Google required as many truckloads of money as were in fact needed is that Survey Digest has quite a number of five-year contracts with major automobile manufacturers. Could you please change the make of the car that figures in your story to one that is not found on the list of our advertisers? A Studebaker would avoid this problem, of course, although the marketing people tell me that the name will not be recognized by most of our readers. As a professional writer, I have no doubt that this merely technical problem will not present the slightest problem for you.

3. Could you possibly mention the importance of honing your skills at texting while driving? This would be a detail that the younger readers will relate to in a way that will cure the problem with the extended discussion of automobile repairs, which really needs explanatory footnotes and photographs of wrenches.

4. What would really bring that story up to date would be if the car in which you finally took your test was one of the Google self-driving models. That would be a major hit with the new owners.

Let us know when we may expect the manuscript with these minor revisions and I will be sure to save room for it in the issue I mentioned.

Very truly yours,
Skip Fenstermacher
Assistant to the Brand Placement Editor.

Didn't have to take the driving test. I had completed a Driver's Education Course so the instructor signed off on that part. All I had to do was pass the vision test and rules of the road test.

Youngest daughter had to take the driving test as I hauled her tail in there the day she turned 14 so she could get her Farmer's Permit. The officer looked at this little blonde and had negative thoughts filling his head about what was going to happen. They headed out the door. When they returned his attitude had changed 100 percent. He had a difficult time believing how well she performed all the requested assignments. We didn't bother to explain to him that she had been doing some level of driving since about age 9. We also didn't bother to explain that her future step-mother had been teaching Driver's Education Class for about ten years and had spent plenty of hours with her while driving illegally.

Kent McMillan, post: 379042, member: 3 wrote: We at Survey Digest want to thank you for continuing to offer us the opportunity to publish your work....
Let us know when we may expect the manuscript with these minor revisions and I will be sure to save room for it in the issue I mentioned.

Ain't it the truth. People that remember the world in which we grew up are a vanishing breed. It won't be long before I start having my coffee at the rest home instead of the local "Thai" donut shop...there's a better chance at the rest home to find someone that can relate....

My oldest PC calls total station work "old school"...

My grandsons think the Jeep has a broken transmission because I have to manually shift.

I have a motorcycle at the shop this week to repair a kick-start pawl. The mechanic that is working on it was surprised to find out it was actually manufactured without an electric start also.

The cashier at the Piggly-Wiggly actually talks louder to me than younger customers.

I'm thinking about paying a sign shop to paint a permanent metal sign that says "Get off of my lawn!"

I can't remember if I took my Metamucil this morning or not...guess I'll find out this evening...

Holy Cow, post: 379043, member: 50 wrote: Didn't have to take the driving test. I had completed a Driver's Education Course so the instructor signed off on that part. All I had to do was pass the vision test and rules of the road test.

Youngest daughter had to take the driving test as I hauled her tail in there the day she turned 14 so she could get her Farmer's Permit. The officer looked at this little blonde and had negative thoughts filling his head about what was going to happen. They headed out the door. When they returned his attitude had changed 100 percent. He had a difficult time believing how well she performed all the requested assignments. We didn't bother to explain to him that she had been doing some level of driving since about age 9. We also didn't bother to explain that her future step-mother had been teaching Driver's Education Class for about ten years and had spent plenty of hours with her while driving illegally.

I didn't have to take the written exam for my operator's license if I remember correctly. I had passed it at age 14 when I got my "scooter" license. That was a city boy's version of the Farmer's Permit. It restricted the holder to a motorcycle less than six H.P. and driving between dusk and dawn. I broke both of those restrictions every day of my early career.

Just yesterday I was joking with a friend about a certain Clinton/Lewinsky incident in the Oval Office and there was an 18 year-old present. To him, that was something out of a history book. He was born in 1998. He is eligible to vote now. How's that for a scary thought?

I can remember way back in 1975 that a coworker was very upset with his son's high school history teacher. As the teacher had been born in 1950, anything concerning WWII was what he had read in a history book along the way. Meanwhile, my coworker had been born in 1935 and had firsthand knowledge of how the people in the US reacted and endured during those years. For that matter, there were quite a number of local citizens in that community who had fought in the German Army, not against it. A prison of war camp had been set up in that area during WWII and many chose to return to the area once released.

It's all relative.

Here are some dinosaur tracks still visible today in what Paden calls Baja Oklahoma just a few miles from both Colorado and New Mexico.

paden cash, post: 379046, member: 20 wrote: I have a motorcycle at the shop this week to repair a kick-start pawl. The mechanic that is working on it was surprised to find out it was actually manufactured without an electric start also.

"Okay. So, you want us to REPAIR this?"
"This is old stuff and it would be much cheaper just to buy a new one."

We live in what I call the Age of Repair when there is lots of broken stuff that needs fixing, but the art of actually repairing things no longer exists. It seems to lead to a fundamental disbelief in the whole concept of repair as a substitute for replacement. I had an "issue" with one of my computers a week or two ago, an old Dell Optiplex 755 box running XP Pro. Large networks run in Star*Net Pro in nanoseconds and giant image files in [REDACTED] don't bog it down. So I took it back to the place I bought it and told the repair technician that I was aware that I could buy a new Win 10 box for some ridiculously cheap price, but I wanted to keep the XP Pro box alive. It wouldn't bother me if it cost a few hundred to fix it (which I doubted it would).

Day later: "We can't fix the system."
"Okay, I'll pick the box up."

They actually had fixed the problem, which turned out to be caused by malware, and apparently didn't realize it or wanted to sell me a $250 refurb Dell Win 7 box so badly that they couldn't bring themselves to tell me that the $50 diagnosis had done the trick.

paden cash, post: 379039, member: 20 wrote: I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature when I took my driving test....the second time. Being born in summer it was hot when I went down to the Dept. of Public Safety on my first attempt to pass my driving exam. I don't remember the exact day, but I will bet it was probably either my birthday or the first day after my birthday the DPS office was open.

Holden and I had spent a week tweaking the '51 Chevy we shared to make sure it passed the "pre-flight" given to all vehicles before the examiner climbed in for the check ride. The horn button was the $0.99 variety that mounted on the steering column because steering wheel mounted Chevy horn buttons all broke before they were 5 years old. And for you youngsters out there, cars didn't use to have blinkers. This old Chevy actually had aftermarket blinkers installed. Holden had attempted his driving test in the same vehicle and had flunked "hand signals 101". The blinkers got installed when he took his test, but had to be fiddled with to make sure they worked. We had control of everything for my first attempt...except the weather.

It was hot-as-hell that day. After signing in you had to get your car in line and wait for an examiner to come get in your car and start. The line was long and on a hill and I kept having to creep up. Needless to say the old Chev was almost steaming hot by the time it came my turn.

Cars didn't use to have tinted windows. The metal where the passenger would hang an arm out the window (to keep from fainting from the heat) was probably about 400å¡ and would singe flesh, you had to be careful. The old Chev smoked a little and had the distinct odor of a farm tractor drifting up with the hot fumes that blew in from the holes in the floor board. I didn't have a dry stich of clothes on me when a uniformed and fully grown "Fat Albert" stuck his head in the window and checked my paperwork. When he got in and shut the door, I could see sweat drops the size of nickels on his brow..he was uncomfortable.

Needless to say, I didn't even make it to the parallel park portion of the test. After a quick trip around the block the instructor had me pull back up to the office. He checked a couple boxes, handed me my test results and told me I could retest in a week. The car springs squeaked as his fat butt got out of the car. I was pissed; I had failed miserably. All the next week I couldn't figure out how I was going to pass the test. I was pretty sure it wasn't my driving ability, but the UN-comfort level in that old car that flunked me. I had a problem.

The day rolled around that I could try again. I was pumping gas at Bill's 66 all morning..what we called "working the drive"..and my oldest brother Cole was changing oil and washing customers' cars in the service bay. He could tell I was bummed and was trying his best to be supportive. I was doing my best to remain sullen while flipping through a coverless and ancient Field and Stream. Our other brother Holden came in a little after lunch and I saw him and Cole scheming on something out in the garage...Cole came up front and asked me if had the money to take my test again. I did. He smiled and told me to "come on." Seems he needed to "test drive" a customer's car he had just serviced. Holden would hold down the fort on the gas sales. I was confused.

Cole pulled around front in Mrs. Hatcher's shiny new canary yellow 1966 Chevelle. Although only equipped with the small V8 and an automatic transmission, it was equipped with something not all cars had back then...air conditioning. I hopped in and away we went. Cole explained we were heading for the DPS and I had better shut up and never tell Bill (or Mrs. Hatcher) that we were "joy riding". I was ecstatic.

Sure enough, old "Fat Albert" was the examiner. The stars had aligned and the line was short..I was up in line in record time. And I'm pretty sure we broke a record for the longest test drive to have ever occurred. Fat Albert didn't even look at his clip-board. All he did the whole time was adjust the A/C vents to point at himself...and I couldn't see a drop of sweat. With power steering I aced the parallel park and Fat Albert had me pull up to the coveted "winner's circle" parking where I could go in and finalize my paperwork and become a member of the motorized public. He congratulated me as he exited the car.

Like I said, I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature that day. Mrs. Hatcher was never the wiser...

Laden I like your tale . Ignore editor kent's comments.
Well I'll add to the driving test stories from the viewpoint of a city kid. NJ driving age was 17. I think the highest in the land. Learners permit at 16 1/2. I didn't do too much learning driving since there was only one car in the family. But as a kid you could get anywhere by bus or train or by just sticking your thumb out. Back then in my neighborhood, no one bought a new car. Everyone owned a decent used American car of about 3-5 years old. My father had a 1963 Bonneville sedan in pristine shape. One of the largest land yachts ever built. The driving test was conducted off Rte 3 in East Rutherford/Secaucus NJ at a Drive-In movie during day hours.
Surrounding the Drive-In were some commercial properties but not many because the major garbage land fill surrounded everything and then there were fresh water marsh were some hunted and fished. This was only a few miles from Manhattan. Rte 3 was the main highway to and from the Lincoln Tunnel. I sort of think that if you made it to the test site with no accidents or tickets, you earned your license since this area was known for crazy fast congested driving of wild commuters, endless buses and trucks of every style.
They call this area the Meadowlands now. They built Giants now also Jets stadium, an NBA and NHL arena concert venue plus a thoroughbred and harness track on the site. Somewhere under MetLife stadium there is a cigar box that contains my baseball card collection as a kid. If it was unearthed, one could buy a new Jaguar . I don't know why my mother dumped it when I left for college but she did.

The DMV must have leased part of the parking area and they would set up cones and signs. The 3-point turn and the parallel parking was the challenge with the Bonneville. The power steering helped a lot on the 3 pt turn and docking the yacht for the parallel park cones went ok despite guessing about the spatial placing of the cones since you couldn't see them.
I didn't do much driving much after I passed. Took buses, trains and hitched. Some friends had cars or use of the family car. I didn't get my own nice 4 yr old used car until I was 18 1/2 to get to work and school on time.
One becomes a skilled driver as a kid up there. I always liked challenging taxis in NYC and wheeling around the rat race.

Kent McMillan, post: 379062, member: 3 wrote: "Okay. So, you want us to REPAIR this?"
"This is old stuff and it would be much cheaper just to buy a new one."

We live in what I call the Age of Repair when there is lots of broken stuff that needs fixing, but the art of actually repairing things no longer exists. It seems to lead to a fundamental disbelief in the whole concept of repair as a substitute for replacement. I had an "issue" with one of my computers a week or two ago, an old Dell Optiplex 755 box running XP Pro. Large networks run in Star*Net Pro in nanoseconds and giant image files in [REDACTED] don't bog it down. So I took it back to the place I bought it and told the repair technician that I was aware that I could buy a new Win 10 box for some ridiculously cheap price, but I wanted to keep the XP Pro box alive. It wouldn't bother me if it cost a few hundred to fix it (which I doubted it would).

Day later: "We can't fix the system."
"Okay, I'll pick the box up."

They actually had fixed the problem, which turned out to be caused by malware, and apparently didn't realize it or wanted to sell me a $250 refurb Dell Win 7 box so badly that they couldn't bring themselves to tell me that the $50 diagnosis had done the trick.

I have an old XP laptop that has LDD2004 on it. The only AutoCAD I have. My IT guru has "cloned" the hard drive twice now after what appears to be a catastrophic crash. I think the first time was $250 and a couple of years ago it was $400. Everything works like brand new when he's done.

I flunked my first road test, too. Everything was going great, I aced the 3-point turnaround and the parallel parking, and we were heading back to the office. I stopped at a red light and prepared to turn left for the final leg back. It was a two-lane road, no left turn lane. There was one car in the oncoming late waiting for the light to change and go straight. When the light turned green I edged out into the intersection and waited. The other driver didn't move and waved me to turn, so I did. I was instantly told to pull over, that I had failed to yield the right of way and flunked the test.

I thought it was a chickensh*t fail and was silently pretty grumpy about it, but vowed not to make *that* mistake again. A week or so later I passed the test without incident.

I still think that examiner is a jerk.

paden cash, post: 379039, member: 20 wrote: I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature when I took my driving test....the second time. Being born in summer it was hot when I went down to the Dept. of Public Safety on my first attempt to pass my driving exam. I don't remember the exact day, but I will bet it was probably either my birthday or the first day after my birthday the DPS office was open.

Holden and I had spent a week tweaking the '51 Chevy we shared to make sure it passed the "pre-flight" given to all vehicles before the examiner climbed in for the check ride. The horn button was the $0.99 variety that mounted on the steering column because steering wheel mounted Chevy horn buttons all broke before they were 5 years old. And for you youngsters out there, cars didn't use to have blinkers. This old Chevy actually had aftermarket blinkers installed. Holden had attempted his driving test in the same vehicle and had flunked "hand signals 101". The blinkers got installed when he took his test, but had to be fiddled with to make sure they worked. We had control of everything for my first attempt...except the weather.

It was hot-as-hell that day. After signing in you had to get your car in line and wait for an examiner to come get in your car and start. The line was long and on a hill and I kept having to creep up. Needless to say the old Chev was almost steaming hot by the time it came my turn.

Cars didn't use to have tinted windows. The metal where the passenger would hang an arm out the window (to keep from fainting from the heat) was probably about 400å¡ and would singe flesh, you had to be careful. The old Chev smoked a little and had the distinct odor of a farm tractor drifting up with the hot fumes that blew in from the holes in the floor board. I didn't have a dry stich of clothes on me when a uniformed and fully grown "Fat Albert" stuck his head in the window and checked my paperwork. When he got in and shut the door, I could see sweat drops the size of nickels on his brow..he was uncomfortable.

Needless to say, I didn't even make it to the parallel park portion of the test. After a quick trip around the block the instructor had me pull back up to the office. He checked a couple boxes, handed me my test results and told me I could retest in a week. The car springs squeaked as his fat butt got out of the car. I was pissed; I had failed miserably. All the next week I couldn't figure out how I was going to pass the test. I was pretty sure it wasn't my driving ability, but the UN-comfort level in that old car that flunked me. I had a problem.

The day rolled around that I could try again. I was pumping gas at Bill's 66 all morning..what we called "working the drive"..and my oldest brother Cole was changing oil and washing customers' cars in the service bay. He could tell I was bummed and was trying his best to be supportive. I was doing my best to remain sullen while flipping through a coverless and ancient Field and Stream. Our other brother Holden came in a little after lunch and I saw him and Cole scheming on something out in the garage...Cole came up front and asked me if had the money to take my test again. I did. He smiled and told me to "come on." Seems he needed to "test drive" a customer's car he had just serviced. Holden would hold down the fort on the gas sales. I was confused.

Cole pulled around front in Mrs. Hatcher's shiny new canary yellow 1966 Chevelle. Although only equipped with the small V8 and an automatic transmission, it was equipped with something not all cars had back then...air conditioning. I hopped in and away we went. Cole explained we were heading for the DPS and I had better shut up and never tell Bill (or Mrs. Hatcher) that we were "joy riding". I was ecstatic.

Sure enough, old "Fat Albert" was the examiner. The stars had aligned and the line was short..I was up in line in record time. And I'm pretty sure we broke a record for the longest test drive to have ever occurred. Fat Albert didn't even look at his clip-board. All he did the whole time was adjust the A/C vents to point at himself...and I couldn't see a drop of sweat. With power steering I aced the parallel park and Fat Albert had me pull up to the coveted "winner's circle" parking where I could go in and finalize my paperwork and become a member of the motorized public. He congratulated me as he exited the car.

Like I said, I learned a lot about bureaucracy, government employees, politics and human nature that day. Mrs. Hatcher was never the wiser...

I get sent down here, get there right quick. They always want us in and out FAST!

This fire blew up 20,000 acres in 24 hours so resource ordering is a mess. By the book we are supposed to wait for orders but they want us there now. So I'm here working all day, smokey, hot, I'm getting nasty phone calls, my boss is getting nasty phone calls. The requestor put in the request four times and it kept failing. He finally puts it down on a four part form and that works. Meanwhile the command center Captain is telling me I'm on my own, no hotel, no meals, blah blah...

So I finally track down our agency rep and he takes care of us, hotel, etc. then the next day the Battalion Chief case manager says I did it right, he would pay for us out of his budget if necessary, they needed us here immediately. He did some magic and somehow satisfied the bureaucracy gods.

But we are just a couple of renegade surveyors breaking all the rules according to that command center Captain.

I have worked for govt agencies for 22 years, when minor functionaries try to threaten me (especially when I had the unmitigated temerity to do my job), it just bounces off of me, yeah what ever. Just try to not pay me...I'm bringing popcorn when my union rep explains to you you have to pay me, I don't care what budget it comes out of.

Did you take the test in this, Dave?

Richard Germiller, post: 379230, member: 499 wrote: Did you take the test in this, Dave?

common. now your making me feel young...

There's a million stories about driver's tests in the VI.
I just had to pass the written test. One of the questions was "What should you do if a double yellow line comes into your lane?"

Like many back then the time would come when you were old enough and so would trot off to validate your driving skills by passing a test and getting a certified proof of your now legitimate entitlement to drive.
The odd look followed by "oh! I thought you'd got your licence", latter gleaned from observing past road driving habits of the one standing before him.

Mine was one of those, except I got special dispensation to get it a couple months earlier as we were off for an extended holiday and "it'd be nice to have to help out on the driving".

They were good times with some good but tough police.
One whom I had immense respect for had observed my speedy driving to the point action was required.
He turned up home with a bit of blue paper, gave me a ticking off and left.
Being the son of a magistrate I knew full well what would follow.
Months went by and nothing, and the worry subsided to the point where I popped the question.
He (policeman) said he'd issued the summons but then waited to see what I did.
Being satisfied I'd learnt a lesson he tore it up and end of story.

It taught me several things and looking back I can thank him for the second chance I had that enabled me to appreciate and apply same in other areas.

I took the driving test in a '72 Vega wagon; real nice to have a small, gutless vehicle for the test. Aced the parallel parking but two significant blunders were looking over the wrong shoulder to change lanes (D'OH!!!) and not stopping completely whilst backing around a corner. The location of the test was also through a business district which was signed at 30 MPH but being a business district, the limit was 25 MPH and many first-timers failed the test there because of that quirk in the law.