Never heard of any of this stuff but I'm gonna try it just because I like the name. The Butt & Gut Doctor that performed my colonoscopy told me about this "breakfast cereal" at the follow up visit. I told Doc I didn't believe her. Apparently it is a cheap and efficient way to keep the exit pipe "squeaky clean". ?????ÿ
http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/food/poop-like-a-champion-cereal.asp
Gotta hankerin' fer dat amplified cereal bowl so I kin finally hear da snap, crackle an' pop noises.
Now, see, when you pass age 75, the experts believe that the risk of doing the scope is greater than the benefit. So you get to poop in a paper and scoop into a tiny vial.
I remember hearing Tim Conway say that he was eating so much fiber that he was pooping wicker furniture.
Nope, I have 4 more years to go before that. If sump'em ain't invented by then to circumvent the process you "mentioned I'm out. Hell they ran out of jokes about the prostate "digital" exam and invented a blood test for it instead. ?????ÿ
Did you ever watch him tell the Circus Elephant and her "small person chief custodial keeper"? (I don't know the etiquette today's proper salutation demands for someone that was a called circus midget 60 years ago)
That is a classic amongst classics.
Spicy peppers will do similar.
And a huge vitamin c boost too.
@flga-2-2
That show is a treasure. We have the whole collection. They cracked each other up constantly.
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I think they called it colon blow on snl...was on the store shelf just to the left of the bass-a-matic
The bran flavored shredded wheat will do that for ya.?ÿ Might have to douse it in sugar to make it edible though.
shredded wheat
An old cartoon: The farmer goes into the kitchen and exclaims, "Martha, I've been baling hay all week and you fix me shredded wheat for breakfast?"
The same old farmer is on his deathbed with the knowledge he will die very soon.?ÿ Then he smells the aroma of freshly-cooked chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen.?ÿ He thinks to himself how wonderful it would be to have one more of those juicy morsels before he dies.?ÿ So, he slides out of bed onto the floor and crawls slowly to the stairway, then bump, bump, bump, bump as he slides down each step to get to the kitchen on the first floor.?ÿ He knows his time is approaching rapidly.?ÿ It takes all the strength he has left to get to the counter where the cookies are cooling.?ÿ Then with on last burst he lunges one arm up and grabs at a cookie.?ÿ WHAM!!!!!?ÿ His wife smacks the back of his hand with a big wooden spoon and announces:?ÿ "Leave those alone.?ÿ They're for the meal after the funeral."
Corn bread and collard greens will keep you regular, and besides they taste good.?ÿ When you cook the greens the liquid that they cook in is called "pot liquor", crumble corn bread in a bowl and pour the pot liquor over it for a little dessert.?ÿ Can you tell my redneck side is coming out?
Andy
Same old farmer on his same old deathbed...Now he had been known for being "thrifty" all his life, to the point some called him a tightwad.
He felt his time was near one evening and he summoned his wife, children and grandchildren to his bedside.?ÿ He asked if everyone was in the room.?ÿ His wife assured him everybody in the house was at his bedside.
He asked, "Then why is light still on in the kitchen?"
Same old farmer on the same old deathbed calls his wife to his bedside.?ÿ The bright red hair he had as a boy had turned grey, what was left of it.?ÿ His first seven children all had red hair like him but the youngest had coal black hair.?ÿ So, with his dying breath he asked her who the father of the youngest child was, in truth.?ÿ She responded that he was the father of the youngest.?ÿ The first seven were someone else's children, though.
True story:
The 1964 Buena Vista HS annual was pretty small.?ÿ Instead of separating the students into classes they were all lumped into a couple of pages regardless of their class.
There were three brothers named Upton that wound up as consecutive photos on one of those pages.?ÿ These brothers all shared similar features, sandy colored tight curly hair, noses that were too big for their faces and ears that made them look like a Studebaker coming at you with all the doors open.?ÿ They all looked just like their daddy.
The very next photo was of a young girl with the last name of Usry and she just happened to live across the street from the Uptons.?ÿ The Usry girl had all the same features of all the Upton boys.?ÿ All four photos lined up told a sordid secret...
In a small town of about 250 folks it didn't take long for a copy of the school annual to become the most passed around book in town.?ÿ Mr. & Ms. Upton split up not long after that.
PS - The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent.
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Went to school with a family of seven kids The first five arrived one year apart in age.?ÿ Then there was a gap of several years.?ÿ Then the last two a year or two apart.?ÿ The last two did not resemble the first five or each other.?ÿ The mom, who didn't worry about public perception, openly admitted the first five had to be by her husband but the fathers of the other two could have been several other fellows, she had no idea which ones.?ÿ The couple remained married until death.?ÿ The older children would discuss who they thought might be the father of each of the younger two as though it was totally unimportant.
Speaking of school annuals, an awkward thing happened the year the youngest of the seven was a Senior.?ÿ Let's say her name was Johnson and the next kid alphabetically was another girl named Jones.?ÿ The names were in the same order but the pictures somehow got switched so that Johnson was Jones and Jones was Johnson.?ÿ I'm fairly certain Mr. Jones caught hell from some of his buddies over that little fiasco in print.
You're gonna get me talkin' now about annuals.
I got a call in about 1987 from a woman that claimed to have gone to school with me.?ÿ I didn't recognize her name?ÿ though.?ÿ She was friendly enough and we chatted for a good ling time.?ÿ I finally got down a copy of my annual to see what she looked like.?ÿ She mention her and I had our arms around each other in the picture of the "Audio-Visual" class.?ÿ (For all you youngsters, those were the kids that ran the projectors for films at school...if you're really young Google movie projector)
Here's the rub.?ÿ I wasn't in the AV class.?ÿ I found the picture and it was an upper classman that shared names with me.?ÿ ?ÿI told her she had found the wrong guy.
At first she resisted.?ÿ We continued to talk.?ÿ I finally convinced her I wasn't the guy she thought I was.?ÿ Then she confessed.?ÿ She wasn't who she said she was.?ÿ She was a process server trying to deliver a summons to another guy that had the same name as myself.
We had a good chat.?ÿ I commended her for all her research (at the local library no doubt) and wished her luck looking up the other guy.?ÿ ?ÿ
