> Kids are for guiding, helping, coaching, befriending, loving, spending time with and talking to...not hitting.
?----- Understands!!!!!!!!!! :love:
You need a hug from me. Here ya go. :-$
Well, I am not really traumatized anymore, I am grown up, but always accept hugs anytime always gladly, thank you and big hug back!
🙂
I never received "beatings" as a kid. As a kid i could count on one hand, how many times I was smacked on the butt. I was a mischievous child, always pushing the envelope, in seeing how far I could push any situation. If you ask my wife, she'd say I'm still that way.;-)
Most of the time it was a quick smack to get me thinkin' straight.
As we got older, my dad had the awesome ability to reason with all three of us kids, each one of us different. He was the master in teaching right from wrong.
I had the best set of parents any kid could have, even though I lost my mom when I was 19. I feel for you folks who did had a completely different situation.
beatings - no
spankings - no
Angel, that is heartbreaking. I am so sorry....
I know some of that pain Angel and its something you just never lose. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I must say that the struggle with the feelings of those days has never left me, though I choose to not let them define me. :love: :love: The problem with corporal punishment is that it leaves scars that don't heal and while many parents know where to draw the line, many others cross the line.
For BL and Angel
When I was about six my grandmother rented part of her home to a family. It turned out the dad was one of those cruel people who take great joy in beating his wife and kids. The daughter was about my sister's age and the boy was five at the time. My grandmother was scared half to death the entire time they lived there because she could hear everything through the common walls.
When the boy was 14 he had already escaped home somehow and was living on the far side of town. One day his mother called because she was being beaten again by the father. The son showed up at the house and shot his father dead. No punitive action was taken against the son.
yes, mum handed out the day to day whippings. if brother and i acted worse, she had us sit in dad's chair when he was on his way home. this gave us an hour to panic. when he walked in and saw us, there was the resounding 'what did you do?' subsequent was the big leather belt; one end, the other end, or doubled up. stingers.
but nobody beat me like the nuns did. joke how you want, but those penguins loosened my teeth, uppercuts that would cut your tongue or lip, or simply trip me into the floor or wall. merciless, i think those nuns had ninja training from bruce lee AND chuck norris
> That is one messed up story Angel, things like that have a way of sticking with you, you did not deserve it, however I can see you turned lemons into lemonade, and you have a great guy like Wendell looking out for you...you're both lucky to have each other.
Absolutely!!! I refuse to let that kinda stuff drag me down and keep me captive. Life is too short to be miserable and un-loved. 😐
I am very lucky for the people in my life that love me the way they do, and I make sure they ALL know it. :-$
I think they're getting sick of it but too bad!! Appreciate and validate those that love you cause you really do not know when the time will come when you can't anymore.
For BL and Angel
> When the boy was 14 he had already escaped home somehow and was living on the far side of town. One day his mother called because she was being beaten again by the father. The son showed up at the house and shot his father dead. No punitive action was taken against the son.
Wow. Crazy!! My uncle use to hold his gun to my head and bap me with it and tell me "This will be WORSE if you don't straighten up!!" I think as a scare tactic. But eventually I got numb to it and didn't give a crap. But there was plenty of times when I had thought about taking his gun and putting it to HIS head so HE could see how it felt. o.O
I got punishments for my actions. Sometimes 10 swats on the butt or 2 weeks grounded to my bedroom with an occasional thump on the head when I needed immediate correction. All were much deserved. My mom, not too long ago, told me that when I was in high school and acting up like I did back then, that she thought I was going to be the one child of hers that would spend most of my adult life in jail. I am the youngest of 3 boys with a younger sister.
Fast forward...
I raised both my sons as a single parent from 9 years of age to 18. They are 13 months apart and my youngest son is now 31. I administered my methods of dicipline on them and it was not spankings or "beatings". They would receive an abrupt open handed slap upside the head occasionally to get them back on track but never a spanking or beating. I would also give them options for punishment due to their bad behavior that they would select. An example is 2 weeks grounded to the house or 3 minutes of holding soup cans with arms extended out to their sides keeping the can elevation at shoulder level. 3 minutes always turned into 30 minutes of trying and crying while listening to me discussing the whys of the punishment.
As my youngest became a young man at the tender age of 16, he grew taller than me and became very unruly. Police would bring him home to me. We lived in a small town and everybody knew everybody. My youngest stole several hundreds of dollars from me and used the money to buy pot. I found out, confronted him and his buddy. I sent his buddy home and I engaged in a verbal confrontation with my son that resulted in him taking a swing at his ol' man. I put him on the floor as he tells me that if I touch him he's calling the cops and turning me in for child abuse. While sitting on him, I hand him the phone and tell him to start dialing as I'm about to bring him into manhood. I'm going to beat him to within an inch of his life and the cops will take me to jail, but remember that I'm not doing life in prison because I'm not going to kill him. I will get out of jail and we will just pick up where I left off beating him like a man as this is what he really wants from me anyway. Since then my son has told me that that one occasion is the one that stands out in his mind as the most impactive to him than anything else. It was the only time he says he saw the devil in my eyes. He is a fine upstanding, contributing to society single father of 2 now. I'm so proud of him and his brother.
got many spankings that i deserved, w/ and w/out a belt, but never a "beating". probably missed a few that were deserved.
one thing that has struck me in reading about and dealing w/ races other than folks of European descent is that many of them refrain from physical punishment for children. many tribes of the American Indians did not physically punish their children because they felt that it broke the child's spirit and/or made them even more rebellious towards the tribal society. there were ways of communicating that a certain deed was not acceptable. embarassment, humiliation, etc. were employed to teach the lesson that the tribe did not accept the act nor respect the person that committed it.
for that matter, horses will turn their backs to another horse that they disdain.
maybe it is time that some of these methods are tried in our modern culture. instead of glamorizing the obnoxious and violent peacocks that tend to have too much approval by the folks w/ no honor or dignity, maybe it is time to speak out that they really are the fools that they appear to be.
or maybe we can just go along as the bowls of mush nation that has developed from pacivity and political correctness.
sorry if it sounds like P&R. it ain't. just a slight rant from someone that's tired of the fact that respect of others, dignity, honor, and individual responsibility have little to do w/ today's American society.
> ... and you have a great guy like Wendell looking out for you
That's nice of you to say, but I am truly the lucky one in this situation. She has put up with my crap for 21 years and still stands by my side. I've never known anyone like her and there's no one else for me.
> Societal views on corporal punishment sure have evolved in the past 20-30 years.
>
> Did you get beatings as a kid? Parents, teachers, family?
>
> Is it right or wrong?
>
> 
Only the boys in my family, not the girls. An occasional spanking, by our father.
I'm sure he isn't proud of it now, but things were different back in the 50's, and let's face it, all parents start off as amateurs.
Both my sisters have kids, and neither of them, or the husbands, would hit their kid, at any age, for any reason.
Right or wrong? I'd say hitting a kid is wrong.
Well, see, there's the problem.
Don
Parents -No
Family -No
Teachers – Once. Last day of Jr. high (9th grade). Me and a friend were horsing around in the halls and the PE teacher (predictable) collared us and took us into his office to give us “swats”. Big wide paddle with aerodynamic holes drilled into it for a swifter delivery . Big production of Mike Pruitt and I standing side by side, bent over at the waist, hands on knees, waiting to receive out just desserts. It was laughable. "Coach" could have given us much greater punishment – stay late after school, write an essay, run stairs to exhaustion – but he was too lazy to take the time to really punish us. HE wasn’t going to stay late. HE didn’t have the ability to grade an essay (much less read one). HE didn’t have the time to leave the confines of the smoke filled teacher’s lounge on his 15 minute break to count our laps in the stair well. So he took the lazy route and paddled the behinds of two laughing 15 year olds who were glad for the attention and infamy and at the end of the day had bested a sad, emasculated old man of 32.
