I'm not the author of this. I found it in my email box.
Long ago in England, a very nasty witch was terrorizing the
population. A committee of residents was sent to see the Wizard
to try to do something about the witch.
The wizard gave them a potion that would turn the witch into a
statue. The townspeople managed to put the potion in the witch's
food. When she found out about it she turned green with rage, but
it was too late. The potion worked as expected.
The jubilant population had a big celebration and parade, and
placed the petrified witch in a park as a public example. Pretty
soon, people discovered that the witch had been placed in a
position that made her a perfect sundial, and started using her
to tell the time of day.
Even today, people refer to "Mean Green Witch Time."
More funnies
An English teacher got married, and when she got pregnant, and went into labor, and as the contractions hit her, she began screaming "I can't do this" I can't do this!"
🙂
Nate
More funnies
:-S
More funnies
I'm with Andy on this one Nate.:-S
More funnies
Me threether. Maybe it's a joke about the teachers redundancy of labor pains vs the redunancy of "I can't do this"..... dunno
More funnies
Contrctions -- can't as opposed to cannot
That is so bad it reminded me of a funny from years ago told to me by a university marching band member. His band director told them a long, complicated story that ended with, "Is dat the cat dat chewed da new shoe?" IS THAT THE CHATTANOOGA CHOO CHOO?
That one is only beat by the one ending in a plane dumping a crate full of cogs for Datsun pickups to lighten the weight of the plane. The key phrase being, "It's rainin' Datsun cogs." IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS.
If you like these jokes, you need to read the Calahan's Bar stories by Spider Robinson.
similar long winded jokes
It was the beer that made Mil Famey walk us.
He wanted to transcend dental medication.
More funnies
The contraction was hitting her. Can't is a contraction of can, and not.
(It was a joke for English majors and teachers!)
Nate
One of my favorite authors, Bill!
More funnies
It's a little obscure.
I think the reference to "contractions" and "can't" is the joke.
The setup on this is pretty long, but it's good. Guy gets a job driving a bus for special needs kids, and these are some of his passengers:
Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Cleese picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus.
Also for all us Ga. Tech Fans:
It's a rambling wrack from George's attack, and an elephant engineer.
Also: "Let us fly" said the flea, "Let us flee" said the fly, so they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Dale Yawn
Savannah, Ga.
More funnies
> The contraction was hitting her. Can't is a contraction of can, and not.
>
> (It was a joke for English majors and teachers!)
>
>
> Nate
what's funny is Nate telling a joke that's "for English majors and teachers"!
i recall my hs band director telling a really long joke that ended.
I left my Harp is Sam Fran's disco. (and the crickets all chirped.)
Don't forget "transporting gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises."
That was the punch line to one of my Dad's favorite jokes (transporting girls across State lines for immoral purposes).
Also, "Chess nuts boasting in front of an open foyer."
More funnies
Pbthhhhhhhh to you too, andy!
🙂
N
.... and the moral of the story is "people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones."
intense, intents, in tents
