Retirement warning
For those of you planning retirement soon there are some things to beware of while at home all day with your loving spouse. If you ain??t careful you may end up like me cleaning bathrooms, changing the bed linens and learning how to wash them, and fixing everything broken some of which are ancient and forgotten. Plus you will find out they can talk you to death.
SWMBO didn??t think much of the above and suggested I research what wives have to put up with the entire marriage, not just retirement. So I did and found about a billion complaints. Here??s a few;
"He eats THE ENTIRE APPLE ?? the core, stem, seeds, everything!"
"My husband sleepwalks. He doesn't do anything dangerous, but he does often pee in the dog's water bowl!"
??My husband holds his balls when he sleeps ?? almost all night. If he's sleeping on his stomach or side, he doesn't, but as soon as he lies on his back, he holds on tightly, like they're gonna run away or something. It cracks me up!"
"My husband speaks what sounds like a foreign language in his sleep. It used to freak me out, but now I just tell him to shut up and he does. I always tell him he must be reliving a past life in his sleep."
"My husband's talking has no off switch. If I'm not listening, he just talks to himself. He has full-on conversations with himself in the shower. He pauses YouTube videos to give commentary. He's pretty much only quiet when he sleeps...and even then, he snores!"
"He likes to slap his own booty when he gets out of the shower. He has a certain beat that he keeps, and it's so very loud!"
Feel free to add to this! ?????ÿ
Like that?
When I saw this thread title, I was about to suggest that "old farts corner" have its own category.?ÿ
Then I read it.
Now I am thinking maybe it should be banned. Like polllliticks!
???????????????????
Of course, I'm kidding, but some of the above scared me!
N
Retirement will definitely tax the limits of a couple's ability to get along.?ÿ These last few years my wife has become an expert at listening to (and commenting about) anything I'm doing in another room.
If she hears me open the fridge on my way through the kitchen to let out the dogs she has to ask what I'm "doing in there".?ÿ If I answer her honestly (like grabbing a water) she feels compelled to remark critically...like "you just had a water".?ÿ ?ÿSo I've quit being honest about what I'm doing and having fun with it.
"What were you doing in there?"
"Eating the last piece of pie."
"There's no pie in there."
"Not anymore...."
Or
"What did you need in the cabinet?"
"A shot glass."
"Why?"
"Because swigging out of the Tequila bottle is so gauche.."
I've almost cured her of being so nosy. 😉
Whatta ya going for?
A while.
Whatta ya going for?
A while.
The only thing that response would get me is a third degree interrogation for around 45 min. ?????ÿ
Where are you going?
Down the road and over the hill.
Where are you going?
I SAID OUT!!!
When I first got to AK, there was one of the guys that worked in the lab that retired. About six or seven moths later, he was back. When he was asked why he cam e back, his answer "I found out that retirement is just half the paycheck and twice the wife"
