Neat lyrics to a nice song. Some fellows prepping for a colonoscopy claim that their brown eyes become blue eyes once their system has divested itself of all such internal material.
My eyes are already blue, but I'll probably lose about 30 pounds between now and noon Monday. Started the prep for the once-per-decade precautionary colonoscopy at 6:00 p.m. with a couple of Dulcolax tablets. No solid food after midnight tonight until after the procedure on Monday morning. The clear liquids and pale colored jello or broth that I'm allowed to consume tomorrow cannot compare to chicken fried steak with real cream gravy and homemade mashed potatoes.
Tomorrow will be the most miserable day of my life since about 10 years ago when I did this the last time. Monday will be an absolute stroll in the park compared to what I know will happen tomorrow. Those of you who have had to prep for this or certain surgeries know what I'm talking about. A combination of H1N1, swine, bird and regular flu might bring on the same agony, but, then again, maybe not.
For $145 we can do a cancer inspection. An untrained technician will smack you a few time with a rubber hose and draw a diagram.
You only have to pay if we find no problems.
We have a doc on the payroll madly signing these as fast as he can go. There is no need for you to meet him.
The directions always tell you to mix that crap with a half gallon of water and then drink it. It tastes so nasty I always just chug the concentrate and chase it with the water.
Good luck my friend. :bored:
Holy Cow,
If they look far enough, I bet they find some real BS!
🙂 Best luck with your procedure!
N
Mr. Cow...
You're probably well on your way to the saw-bone's office for your "kaleidoscope"...
We hope you fare well...and....
wait for it......
......
......
.......
we hope everything comes out all right! o.O
(pun intended):-P
It has been confirmed!
I am a perfect a-hole. And everything connected to it is perfect. And, best news of all, the doctor swore he DID NOT find my head stuck up there.
Trying to readjust to eating and drinking at this point. Somehow my glucose numbers stayed in the correct range throughout, which was my biggest worry. The really good news was that the prep all day yesterday, with new and improved laxatives, went incredibly well. The last time I did this the magic potion hit me like a sledge hammer. No such problem this time.
Love the hamster comic above. Knew a fellow whose sister was a nurse in Detroit where she witnessed that type of thing too many times.
It has been confirmed!
Glad your back in the saddle.
As for your diagnosis mentioned above...you didn't need to pay the doc to find that out...just ask your wife.:snarky:
Surveying connections
The anesthesiologist today is one of about six board members on a Watershed District for whom I have done well over $10,000 worth of surveying. The doctor's primary assistant is a lady for whom I did a survey about 20 years ago. She recognized me immediately at the consultation meeting a couple weeks ago. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
The nurse that did my preliminary work this morning turned out to be the nurse I dealt with about 10 years ago while with my previous M.D. Great young lady. And, the front desk greeter/paper shuffler has been a good friend for nearly 30 years.
I didn't think sunscreen was needed to block a full moon.:whistle:
Surveying connections
That is getting a little too intimate with the folks providing an intimate procedure.
My Doc drives a little smart car with the license plate "PP-DOC." HIs kids were in high school with my two youngest kids.
Surveying connections
I can relate to that small world truth.
When I go to see the specialist an hour and half away, everything is rather anonymous even when the visits are met with cordial professionals and well invested care.
The local clinic is always full of very familiar faces from other patients to the staff who are people I've known or have met during the last 40 years.
When my Doctor complains about his hunting boots I offer him heel pads in return for his not laughing at my stupid questions and I show up with the right size of a copy that will fit in the micro scanner that reads my insurance information.
These little things help when you walk out of the place knowing your friends have done their job and you and everyone else will still feel the same in the days to come after you have bared all.
good to hear everything passed without a hitch
Colon Cancer is no joke
I just learned that I have lost another brother in law to colon cancer. This is the second one in a year and a half. Neither one went for his checkup when it could have helped.
I had the colonoscopy a few months back. The worst part, by far, was having to drink gatorade by the quart. So what. And they did find a couple of things that could have turned into something serious if left alone.
Get over it, guys. Get it done.
