Who built King Arthur's ???? round table?
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Sir Cumfrence?ÿ
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How did the alleged criminal get away with the alleged crime?
The only witness was Sir Cumstansial.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support windows.
A coworker was an owner and dealer in exotic animals. Determining the gender of each critter was very important. Selling a pair of ducks or raccoons or whatever was quite profitable, however, it was imperative to sex them to be sure they were a potential breeding pair. He acquired several young porcupines. I asked him how one sexes a porcupine. His response was:
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Very carefully.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
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Pregnant
2 fish are swimming down a river. One of them swims in to a concrete wall and says...
DAM!!!!
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
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Bison
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?"
Steve said, "I wish I was rich!"
The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich replied, "I want lots of money!"
Do you know why balloons are so expensive?
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Inflation.
I got an email explaining how to read maps backwards
It was spam
A priest, a rabbi and a baby goat walk into a bar.
The bartender yells, "HEY, NO KIDS ALLOWED!"
The cow asked the bull how long he would continue to love her. He said:
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MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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Seriously, folks, what he really said was, "For heifer and heifer."
I went to an online weight loss site, but I knew it was bogus when they said I had to accept cookies.
When the little piggy got home from school, he did not go into the bathroom, before grabbing a snack. Why?
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Because he went weewee weewee weewee weewee all the way home.