Mom Update:
First off, let me apologize for worrying all of you!! My phone, facebook, emails, etc... have been blowing up and I can't get back to all of you right away and I feel terrible for that. 😐
I haven't updated in 2+ days because I have been extremely busy and exhausted. My day starts at 6:30 a.m. and from that time on, my day is spent running back and forth to the hospital, running around in the hospital, talking to several doctors, nurses, CNAs, etc.., fetching mom stuff, cleaning mom up, running back home, etc... Sometimes I don't get to moms until 1-2 am. I literally floss and brush my chops and pass out, and do it all again the next day.
I know it doesn't sound like a lot but if I listed every little detail that I do in between, I would bore all of you. Plus I am just too tired. I feel like I have been through hell and back, and I am going back again. :'(
As for mom, she is finally home! She got to come home today after dialysis. The doctors and nurses had "the talk" with me again before I left. Her heart is very frail and can stop at any time. Her heart attacks are "silent attacks" so she doesn't feel a thing, thank God. The doc said the best case scenario is that her ª´ stops while she is asleep, and she goes away to her eternal home pain free. Both of her doctors do not want to get to the "worse case scenario." Neither do I. The doctor said there's no reason at this point to push any issues and to just let my mom do whatever she wants, and keep her happy. SO that is what I am doing. Like today... She wanted a laptop to play her games on while she sits in the dialysis chair so I went out and bought her one and surprised her with it when she woke up. Then I ran to the pharmacy & grocery store to get the other things on her list. And tonight she wanted to go get chocolate soft serve...so we all hopped in the car and that's what we did. And she ate the whole thing. 🙂
My step-dad and my mom are in the denial stage. Dad thinks she's going to be around several more years now, and the cancer will magically go away, and that her heart will hold out. Me, I see physically & mentally whats going on and so I am not, although maybe I should be. As much as I wanted to get her better to get her home, now that she is home and I know what could possibly happen, I want to go and curl up in a little ball and hide and just bawl for hours. :'(
Bringing your parent home to die...man...I can't seem to accept this too well yet. 😐
And...I am extremely tired beyond imaginable now & falling asleep at the keyboard so I am going to bed folks. I have another long day tomorrow plus my infected eye is griping at me for rest. ** Yawn **
PS: Go hug your parent(s) if they are still alive because one day you will be in my shoes and I don't want anyone to ever have to be in this pair of shoes with any regrets. The pain & devastation inside of my heart during all of this is indescribable. :-@:'(:-/:-(
Angel I have been through this experience and wish you the best. Outside of being a parent, i can think of nothing that changed my perspective on life as much as the final year with my Mother. Do not worry about anything but taking care of yourself so you can take care of her. Sometimes the inquiries of well meaning people although appreciated can be draining. This is a different kind of tire because you do everything possible and the outcome is beyond our control. Your Mother is very fortunate to have a daughter so committed to her well being. You have my respect, thoughts and prayers.
Angel is more than your name, it describes what you are. I'm sorry you've had so much hard crap to deal with over the past couple years. I'm glad your family has you to help them deal with it.
You and your family are in my prayers these days.
Sweet
Angel that last post is very touching. It bought home memories and more than a lump in my throat.
It's hard to watch a loved one go through so much, but often its the one who's watching their beloved who suffers most.
And their immediate loved one, children etc.
Family life can be tough.
It's comforting to know others are with you in times of stress.
All the best from DownUnder.
:love:
Best wishes from the Gorge!
Hope the news is all good.
Holy Cow, post: 334238, member: 50 wrote: Hope the news is all good.
She passed on the 20th more info in the Angel Update thread
🙁
Randy Rain, post: 334242, member: 35 wrote: She passed on the 20th more info in the Angel Update thread
🙁
Actually, I miss read the post from the 20th as well, but Angel's mother is still with us. Here's a link to Angel's latest post https://surveyorconnect.com/threads/angel-update.323159/page-3#post-333710
I'm so glad that I was mistaken, now I have to go back and reread the entire thread again. Thank you Stephen. And Angel my apologies for the misunderstanding. I will pray for your mother's speedy recovery and comfort.
Randy
Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys. I've been running ragged and dragging ass all at the same time. The only reason I am sitting here now typing this is because I'm waiting for my hair to dry so I can climb in bed. I have every intention to get on here and type something out, esp if I can hop on Facebook, but then I sit here, I browse a little bit, and get tired. Then I say screw it, I'll update later, and never do. Anyhow...
My mom has been home since last Wed. She's still VERY weak and hardly eats, but she is SO glad to be home. She still thinks shes going to get really strong and mighty and then go through chemo. :-O I just tell her keep drinking her Nehpros and eat and we'll see what happens from there. She's still smoking, too, ugh... but...hell froze over yesterday because SHE PUT ON A PATCH!! It's a miracle!! :clap: Hopefully she will keep it up.
I watch her meds and blood pressure like a "watchdog". (That's what she tells everyone I am!) I have been her gopher/messenger since she has been home. I take her to dialysis on Mon. Wed. & Fridays at this HUGE dialysis center. The doctor knows me by name and we chat quite a bit about moms prognosis, treatments. etc... His nurses thought I worked for him because I was wearing scrubs, mask, etc... and tending to mom like nurses do. It was kinda funny!
On Friday, mom decided she wanted a sandwich from her favorite sandwich place. Well it's like 20 minutes away from the dialysis center so I told her "Ok, give me an hour." I stop by the house and pick up Wendell so he to can indulge in a fine sandwich. As we were pulling up to one of the intersections we have to zoom through to get to the sandwich shop, I got a green light. Ever since my 21 year old step-brother (who never looked both ways before he crossed and depended on lights only) was killed in a T-Bone wreck, I made it a habit to ALWAYS look before I cross, even if it's green. Well, this day was no different. BUT...as I looked to my left, I saw this green car hauling ass...and then I saw this black car that turned while the light was still yellow, and I knew what was going to happen. I said "Oh Oh..." and before you know it..CRASH!!! Green car hit black car at about 45 MPH & both spun out. Turns out the green car was full of teenagers, 2 of whom hopped out of the back of the green car and took off running, headed back to school. Apparently they were speeding because they were out for lunch and were running late to get back to school. Black car also had a teenager; poor kid was shook up but ok. I got him calmed and stayed with him until his momma came. Then Mr. Policeman makes me stay put because I am a witness. So here all of us are, the wreck boys, me, the cops, the fireman, etc... all standing out in over 100å¼ heat, frying. But I was grateful everyone was OK and EXTRA grateful I looked ahead of time. Had I not, that car would of hit ME & Wendell!! :'(
Here's a pic of the wreck:
Oh boy...by the time I got away from that wreck, went and got moms sandwich, and got back to the dialysis center, it was over 2 hours. I figured she would be squawking at me for taking so long, but fortunately she was asleep. When she woke up I explained and showed her the photo of the wreck. She was relieved I was paying attention & didn't get clobbered myself. 🙂
I don't venture too far away but Saturday I managed to get out for a little bit and have a nice Mediterranean dinner with one of my close girlfriends. Mom was doing good and dad was home so I knew I was OK to escape for a little while. After that I went and did some late night shopping for mom.
Sunday I got a bug up my butt to clean moms pool cover and pool. The pool cover was FILTHY. Dirt, bird crap, feathers, you name it, all over it. I was NOT about to put that back on the pool water!! Trying to clean it was another task...but I finally got it done. Then I worked on the pool. I let Homer do most of the work while I scrape and skim. Plus I find it oddly therapedic watching Homer zoom along, doing his thing. Well, while this was all going on, mom comes outside and starts to squawk at me about how hot it is, how my hat will not cover my back, etc...and how I am starting to burn. *I* didn't think it was that bad but...boy was I wrong. I am FRIED. But the pool looks good!!
After my pool cleaning adventure, I decided to tackle the bedroom I am temporarily staying in. I cleaned that sucker for over 8 hours, washing walls, fans, windows, mirrors, sheets, curtains, etc... & Vacuuming & re-organizing. It looks like a brand new room!! Unfortunately by the end of this, my sunburn was KILLING me so I decided to take a break. Mom of course decides to squwak at me more about not listening to her when she said come in the house, how I'm gonna blister, etc..etc.. (You'd think I was 14 not 44 at this rate.) I say OK I will run to dum dum mart and get sunburn cream. So I do and guess what? Dum Dum Marts around here close at midnight! No cream for me! I return home to more squawking via BOTH parents now for being so dumb and not wearing sunscreen. *sigh* 😐
SO, now we're at today. I took mom to dialysis and she sent me next door to the $1.00 store for some oatmeal cookies. An hour and a å? later, I return with cookies and $30 less in my wallet. (Hey there was a lot of nifty things in this store that I just HAD to have!)
Mom just shook her head and snatched the cookies and chomped down as she dialyzed. I said I was going to go home and drop my stuff off, eat lunch, and then return to pick her up. While home I take a quick peek at Homer and make sure He is doing His job, and then I head back over to the center. Well, this time mom is sick. Her BP dropped into the 70/40 range. We're all starting to worry...this is not good. They keep her another 15-20 minutes and get her BP back up into the 90s. She then says "I'm good! I'm going home." I knew she was not good but there was no stopping her. The social worker came out to talk to us and managed to deter mom for another 10-15 minutes. I get mom home and she collapses on the couch, exhausted and sick. 🙁
She has me worried...She goes in to take a nap and I keep checking on her to make sure she's breathing. Finally she gets up a couple of hours later and wants to eat. She puts her order in and I run over to get it. I know she wont hardly eat any of it so I just split stuff with her now and save $$. Sure enough, she pecks at it and then shoves it out of her way. *sigh* I can tell she's still not feeling too good. Damn dialysis!! But, she still wants me to run to dum dum mart and go get that sunburn cream (and a list of other assorted things) so I do, reluctantly. I'm there for 2 hours and I think "Ok, she's going to be passed out when I get back. I better sneak in and be quiet!" I get back to the house and there she is, wide awake, and squawking at me yet AGAIN for being gone for 2+ hours. Sheesh!! But now that I am home, she goes and crawls back in bed and that's where she's been ever since. And that is where I am headed just as soon as I finish here.
So, there ya go, guys. I just brought you all up to date. I'll try to update better...even if it's just a little bit each day to let you know how she is doing. And I just want you to know that I truly appreciate all of your guys thoughts and prayers and warm fuzzies being sent our way. It's so nice to read all of the comments you all leave for me!!! Makes me tear up, but in a good way. :angel:
Here's some positives in all of this negative...
My eye infection I caught at the hospital is clearing up nicely! YAY!
I got to go and get my favorite cookies directly from the bakery!! Mmmm they were fresh and tasty!
I got the "Last Fan Standing" as far as window fans go...and it was on clearance!! My room is nice and cool now.
Mom is finally tinkering with her new laptop and actually LIKES it! There's hope after all!
I managed to salvage a fuzzy cat and a teddy bear stuffed animal mom handmade years ago. They were full of dirt and smoke and brown as tree bark, but once they soaked in the washing machine, they came out sparkling clean and brown free. Yay!! (Hey it's the silly small things that keep me going at times...)
Good night for now...PS: Here is mom's cat Bella. I call her "Belly" cause her belly drags on the floor. Mom got her at the pound when Belly was a tiny scrawny teenager cat that no one wanted because she was "a boring gray color". Mom told my dad "No one wants her??? Well *I* do!" And Bellys been happy ever since. :cat:
Angel - thanks for the update.
Your Mom is lucky to have such a caring daughter. Remember, you have to take care of yourself to take care of her.
You are in my prayers.
Ken
:love::u::love:
Hang in there, Angel. We're all pullin' for ya.
I posted a new update here:
https://surveyorconnect.com/threads/any-reports-on-angels-mother.323322/#post-334479
I was going to merge the threads but...I got too tired. o.O
Hope things work out for you and yours.
I developed that habit of waiting a beat at lights when I was writing tickets for people who didn't stop when they should.
It has kept me out of several wrecks over the intervening 37 years. It was a good habit to develop.
Here's a few pics of my temporary room...The bear is the one I was discussing in my previous update. I think she'll go home with me eventually. :-$
Well, as promised, I am trying to do daily updates. I think it also helps me to release some of the anguish I go through each day by doing these updates. 😐
Today started off as an OK day. Moms BP was stable and she was in the mood to get cleaned up and run around. Well, after getting cleaned up it took too much energy out of her so she decided to stay home and instead sent me out to do the running around. But... not before she griped at me about my back being on fire and putting some more of the sunburn medicine on me. Ahhhh it felt so good!!! :sun:
Moms friend popped over for a visit so I knew mom would be OK with me leaving for a bit and so I did as mom commanded. I did the dishes, then ran off to drop stuff off at Badwill, went to the pool store to get a new skimmer and thermometer, then went to the Peppertree to get mom some lunch. Funny thing...she tells me to Google the Peppertree to see whats for lunch. We call it the Peckertree and so silly me types in "Peckertree" and you can just guess what pops up while doing that kind of search!! :woot:
I bring mom back home a french dip sandwich, onion rings, chicken noodle soup, and pickles. She eats 3 bites or so of the french dip sandwich, a few bites of the soup, and that is it. $15 in food for a few bites. I have learned now that I don't order anything; I just eat what she leaves behind. :-/
I over hear mom and her friend yacking about me and mom bragging and saying what a real Angel I am, how she knew I'd come take care of her and she could count on me after she saw how I took care of her brother and sister-in-law, how proud of me she is, etc... Felt very humbling to say the least and it made me smile. 🙂
Moms friend is a neat lady. Her son-in-law is a retired Dodgers pitcher. Her daughter calls and asks about mom and how I am, and then asks her to ask me if I want an autographed photo. So she asks me and I look at her funny...then she goes "Oh yea you are a Cardinals fan! Oh silly me!" Then I tell her I still want one for my cousin who is a die hard Dodgers fan. She mentions that the Dodger fans weren't too nice to her son-in-law so I tell her to tell him to come over to the BEST side, where fans treat players right! I can't wait to hear his response. B-)
After moms friend left, mom went to take a nap. I decide it's a good time to do her laundry and so I go to work on that. She gets back up an hour later and wants more food. So this time she sends me off to Boston Market. I get her chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, cornbread, and apple pie. Another $15. She takes 3-4 bites of it and that was it. 🙁
She feels bad because she is trying to get food down, but she just is not hungry. I told her "it's ok, some is better than none. Don't force yourself." And I secretly think to myself I know what it means when they don't/cant eat anymore. :'(
She goes outside for a bit and just sits there on the patio...with a JACKET on and says "I'm cold." Then she gets up and goes to bed and has been in there ever since. I go in there every å? hour and check on her. I start to get really worried and then I see her sitting on the side of the bed smoking a cigarette. I figure she will come out to the living room when she's done...but when she doesn't I go back in to check on her. She's out again, sleeping. :star:
She has me worried...and has my heart breaking. :u: It is extreme torment to my soul to have to wait and wonder when her heart is going to stop, am I going to find her dead, how am I going to live without her, etc... :'( I cannot ever let her know this because she is depending on me to be the strong one for her and my step-dad. But sometimes being strong sucks. :-/
I think I will go and soak in the tub for a bit. I got some special bubble bath stuff that is suppose to help sunburns so we'll see. Good night folks!
PS: How about those Come-Back Cardinals!?!?! My warm fuzzies moment of the day!! :party::clap::whistle:
Hey Angel keep doing as your doing and hang in there. Everything may seem hard and time may seem to be playing tricks with you but say a prayer or two for strength and solace.
So it goes.
As for your Cards, they are the best in MLB........ But I warned (or hinted) you about the Mets at the season's start. They have become a scrappy team in the stretch.
