First off the young un??s here (anybody under 70) need to listen up.***(see below)
Five year colonoscopy time!!!
Yesterday was ??prep? day and we all know how much fun that is so I??ll not mention the workout the prep kit includes for free. i.e.; being able to roll out of bed and make it to the throne 67 times in 5 hours, and sleep while doing it.
Prep, the worst part (they say) went according to the laws of chemistry, think Mentos and Coca Cola, so all was well, and I??m driven to the appointment by my son who will retrieve when ?ÿI??m ??done?. Thirty-nine minutes and 14 seconds later they come herd me into a ??room? that has curtains for walls and tell me to take off everything except my shirt, everything else off. I??m starting to think I may have inadvertently wandered into ??Lotus happy ending massage parlor?. (They??re next-door) Then the slutty evening gown, slit from the collar down, appears that you try to tie backasswards around your neck to keep the thing on. No matter what you do or try yer ass is gonna expose itself.
All that stuff is normal but what happened next is not. First nurse bounces in all smiley and giddy announcing ?ÿit??s IV time! Good, I think, the final worst part will be over in a minute then it??s off to Mr. Rogers Magic Kingdom. Nurse is giggling and saying she hasn??t done this for a while he, he. I thought she was kidding, she wasn??t. Missed twice in the right arm and once on the right hand and gave up. Meanwhile I??m smiling and cursing up a blue streak in my head. Nurse 2 is called in for consultation on abandoning the previous locale and start anew on the other side. I asked for some drugs, any kind would do, and of course they refused. I said I needed them because the next time they stuck with that gd needle and missed I might drop dead right there and bare my arse to everyone in sight. That didn??t work either but Nurse 2; bless her heart, scored a hit on the first try.
From there they transported me to THE ROOM. ?ÿI was greeted by the Anesthesiologist and Chief Explorer/Butcher and we all said hey. I started to inquire about liability malpractice insurance limits they had and the gas man said, here take a few breaths, I did and zap! They never volunteered any information concerning my question, at not that I can remember.
I look forward to my next one in five whole years. It??s not that bad and it could save your life, don??t ignore your health, you won??t live long enough to regret it.
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***??Overall, the lifetime risk of developing colorectal cancer is: about 1 in 23 (4.3%) for men and 1 in 25 (4.0%) for women.??ÿ Advanced Stage Colon cancer is fatal. So, if you do not see a Family physician at least once a year start doing so now. Sooner or later you will have a colonoscopy which may save your life. I was lax in maintaining my health until prostate cancer sent me a wakeup call 15 years ago.
That??s the last time I read what you wrote!!!
grin
life shore is short
get well soon.?ÿ
Nate
My first colonoscopy experience was about like yours but with competent IV insertion.?ÿ The doc must have been rough on me because for the next few days a trip to the throne hurt like crazy and I bled. The other complaint was that they overdosed me on the drugs.?ÿ Somehow I came to enough to get dressed in about twice the expected time, was led out to the car, and was driven halfway home before I knew I existed.?ÿ Suddenly I knew I was there but could remember nothing between the IV up and that point.?ÿ That scared me.
For my second one, I complained about the amnesia and they only gave me happy juice, not the full knockout.?ÿ I laid there watching the monitor as he did his work, and recovered quickly.?ÿ He probably was gentle with me because I was watching, too.
Sort of like my approach to dentistry.?ÿ Only for the most extreme drilling do I get the numbing shot. I think it's been once in 8 or 10 fillings over the years. The important part for most fillings is keeping the tooth cool while drilling.?ÿ If I don't get numb, they are more careful about overheating, and I have less sensitivity in the tooth in the weeks after the filling.
I look forward to my next one in five whole years. It??s not that bad and it could save your life, don??t ignore your health, you won??t live long enough to regret it.
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On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero?ÿ?ÿ?ÿ ???? ?????ÿ
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(really didn't feel like hitting the like button)
@bill93 I believe they prefer to use the happy juice that leaves you with no memory because it's harder to sue for malpractice or complain about rude comments or mistreatment if you have no memory of what happened.?ÿ You can be sure no one else in the operating room is going to spill the beans if something went wrong and they're sure you were in LaLaLand.
get well soon.?ÿ
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Thanks Natester but I ain't sick, this is routine procedure done every five years. ?????ÿ
On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero?ÿ?ÿ?ÿ ???? ?????ÿ
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I knew a guy that was the ultimate health nut.?ÿ He did everything right.?ÿ He ran 5 miles every day, exercised and ate weeds and grass.?ÿ
At the age of 82 he died of absolutely nothing.
@paden-cash:?ÿ I worked with one of those people.?ÿ The I-man asked him one day why he ate all that crap he didn't like so he could live longer...so he could eat more crap he didn't like.
The day before is by far the worst part of the whole deal.?ÿ (Might have been a pun in there somewhere)?ÿ I figure anyone who wants to see what's not covered is a masochist.?ÿ Just as long as it isn't the surgeon.?ÿ A blind surgeon would not be a good thing.
Coming to is quite a startling sensation.?ÿ The lasting buzz is interesting.?ÿ In may only last a few minutes or an hour.?ÿ Sort of an out of body experience in that your brain seems to be thinking but it doesn't quite get to where the action would occur.
...Sort of an out of body experience in that your brain seems to be thinking but it doesn't quite get to where the action would occur.
...Fond memories of teen years. ;)?ÿ You're right though, the prep is the worse part.?ÿ
During my last "kaleidoscope" they wheeled me into the room after giving me a shot that made me sleepy, but still conscious.?ÿ I was listening to everybody talk and then the anesthesiologist told me he was going to give me "the shot".
I laid there and waited for it to take effect.?ÿ I could still hear them all talking.?ÿ I got a little antsy waiting to go to sleep.?ÿ I decided to open my eyes and see what was taking them so damned long....
I opened my eyes and I was in the recovery room.
PS - They gave me lots of color glossy photographs of the inside of my tailpipe.?ÿ I wanted to make them into Christmas Cards but SWMBO put the kibosh on that idea.
Absolutely NOT the time to be worried about our inner ten year old making jokes about poop and being "studied" from the behind.
I went in for my first colonoscopy in the fall of 2019 and found out I had stage 3b colon cancer.?ÿ ?ÿafter successful surgery and 6 months of chemo, it seems to be gone.?ÿ But I had NO SYMPTOMS.?ÿ ?ÿ
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DO NOT play around... heck people pay good money to go to a spa and get "cleansed", it's super easy.?ÿ ?ÿ
Oh, yes.?ÿ This is definitely a thing to do on a regular schedule.?ÿ The wife went through this in January with excellent results.?ÿ I think I come due in two more years.
The dang doctors so far have refused to provide me with a signed certificate stating they DID NOT find my head stuck up there.
I've only had a colonoscopy once (so far), but I'd heard a lot of stories about the things people say when they're under the twilight sedative, so I brought my little Olympus voice recorder and set it up on the operating table next to me.?ÿ The doc couldn't understand why I'd want to record the session, but didn't object.
A lot of the recording was unintelligible, but at one point the doc said, "Mr. Frame, please roll over onto your left side," to which I replied (in a *very* drowsy voice) "Oh, yeah, a nap sounds like a *great* idea!"?ÿ A bit later the doc -- who I think was trying to get the probe (or whatever they call it) around the tight turn in there -- "Mr. Frame!?ÿ Please stop resisting the [whatever they call it]!"?ÿ I guess I was puckering up in response to the uncomfortable pressure.
Not a fun experience, and there's a not insignificant risk of colon puncture (which can have dire consequences), but it's still the gold standard for detecting early colon cancer.?ÿ My HMO doesn't do them routinely unless there's a family history of the disease, so I had to specifically ask (and lobby) for one.?ÿ That was about 10 years ago.?ÿ Now they just send me a mail-in poop-on-a-stick test every 5 years.
Two of my brothers in law passed away of colon cancer. Way too young, completely unnecessary.
Get over the squeamishness and don??t die. Not of that anyway.
What I remember most was the big rack of plumbing mounted on the wall.
It went as well as could be expected (at Cleveland Clinic, FL)?ÿ
I've only been anesthetized once in my life, twilight sleep by fentanyl IV for a twofer, a colonoscopy and esophageal endoscopy, which saved the hospital money by doing both in one session.?ÿ I was apprehensive about the anesthesia and asked the doc if I could try without it.?ÿ He said he'd experienced both procedures without anesthesia in Med school and strongly recommended the anesthesia, especially for the?ÿ endoscopy.?ÿ
It was a miracle!?ÿ The last thing I remembered was the doc telling the nurse to administer x ccs?ÿ and the next thing I know I'm in the prep room with the nurse welcoming me back and offering to help me off the gurney into a chair so I could get my clothes on.?ÿ I'm actually looking forward to my next colonoscopy so I can experience the weirdness of "poof",?ÿ a slice of my day (50 minutes) disappears by magic.
Had the twofer the first time around.?ÿ That was a win/win, for sure.?ÿ The only request I made was that if they were going to use the same probe to please go down the throat first and then up the wazoo. ??? ????ÿ
