Back in 2011 I had a triple bypass. The doctor said that my recovery chances were good but not 100%.
My wife and stepmother spent as much time as they could with me. Even during my 4 day recovery in ICU.
Even though I drifted in and out of the morphine cloud I could see them sometimes and I could feel them at other times.
That matters more than you can imagine, knowing that some one who LOVES you is nearby.
They gave me something that a room full of strangers ( even though they truly care ) could never provide.
I had no fear of not coming back because I never felt alone.
Almost 2 years later I sat by my stepmothers hospital bed as she lay dying. She squeezed my hand and she went. Without fear I hope.
I am hoping your momma can stay with us longer but know that you being with her is the best thing for her, no matter what happens.
Love love love
It may be hard to accept it right now but the hard part is behind you.
Wow!! Rough days are ahead. Just be there for her. Don't try to think of "the right thing to say", it doesn't exist.
Believe that her Mom will be in a better place and she will no longer be in pain. Once you reach a certain age, you no longer fear death. You do not look forward to it, but you no longer fear it.
Celebrate her life and remember only the good times. Keep her memory with you and the transition will be easier.
So sorry to hear that. Prayers to your family
Thoughts and prayers from "Cardinal Nation" Angel and Wendell.
I'm so very sorry to hear this, I'm holding you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Very sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you both.
Hi guys... thanks for the warm thoughts and prayers. I appreciate it!! :angel:
Quick Update:
Mom is perking up a bit. We managed to keep her out of ICU but her heart is still weak. They wanted me to stay the night but there's no way I can without the recliner they were supposed to get me. So this morning they hunted me down a recliner! I think they like me here because I do stuff that they do but don't want to do. Plus my mother can be difficult. They meet me and thank me lol. One of the nurse's and doctor approached me and said you are her daughter? YOU are not difficult like her. We had to call your dad at 12 am because she was difficult. She cussed him out when he got here. I said yes she can be naughty. (They were referring to last weeks stay not this weeks). This stay they are worried cause she's not cussing at them. Go figure.
And...I have a small food stash over above the sink. WELL some one walked off with my chocolate bar. Grrrrr... So I went to the vending machine and got M&Ms and the machine didn't give me my freaking M&Ms at first cause they got caught in the hook thing. So I punched the # again and it popped out 2 packs. I hid pack #1 in the hospital room somewhere for later consumption. B-)
Mom has finally drank some coffee, some nephro, 7-Up and cran juice but still no food. She tried to eat but spit it out.
She asked if Wendell was coming and I said yes, and the kid too, and she said I need to get cleaned up. So I gave mom a bath...egads she sure needed it!! :-O
And I got her chops & tongue brushed. Then I put lotion on her feet and rubbed them and she said "Damn that feels GOOD. What a difference!" She's been drinking a lot of fluids, but still cant tolerate any food. Has some of her color back. BP and blood sugars are good right now...She will dialyze later and that's when we'll see how her heart handles it. And...I am exhausted. THEY finally brought me a recliner so I can sleep. ZZZzzzZZZ!!
Angel, post: 332947, member: 100 wrote: Hi guys... thanks for the warm thoughts and prayers. I appreciate it!! :angel:
Quick Update:
Mom is perking up a bit. We managed to keep her out of ICU but her heart is still weak. They wanted me to stay the night but there's no way I can without the recliner they were supposed to get me. So this morning they hunted me down a recliner! I think they like me here because I do stuff that they do but don't want to do. Plus my mother can be difficult. They meet me and thank me lol. One of the nurse's and doctor approached me and said you are her daughter? YOU are not difficult like her. We had to call your dad at 12 am because she was difficult. She cussed him out when he got here. I said yes she can be naughty. (They were referring to last weeks stay not this weeks). This stay they are worried cause she's not cussing at them. Go figure.
And...I have a small food stash over above the sink. WELL some one walked off with my chocolate bar. Grrrrr... So I went to the vending machine and got M&Ms and the machine didn't give me my freaking M&Ms at first cause they got caught in the hook thing. So I punched the # again and it popped out 2 packs. I hid pack #1 in the hospital room somewhere for later consumption. B-)
Mom has finally drank some coffee, some nephro, 7-Up and cran juice but still no food. She tried to eat but spit it out.
She asked if Wendell was coming and I said yes, and the kid too, and she said I need to get cleaned up. So I gave mom a bath...egads she sure needed it!! :-OAnd I got her chops & tongue brushed. Then I put lotion on her feet and rubbed them and she said "Damn that feels GOOD. What a difference!" She's been drinking a lot of fluids, but still cant tolerate any food. Has some of her color back. BP and blood sugars are good right now...She will dialyze later and that's when we'll see how her heart handles it. And...I am exhausted. THEY finally brought me a recliner so I can sleep. ZZZzzzZZZ!!
I love me some sweet Angel. Angel you are an angel to us all, we do love you kiddo.
Angel, I said the final goodbye to several of my grandparents several times! It's not an easy thing to do.
My grandmother died once and they brought her back. She recovered and several years later had another medical issue. It didn't look good. Nearly all of her organs shut down. They decided that there was zero chance she would live and took her off of the IV and kept her on morphine for a week knowing she would pass peacefully. One morning she woke up (despite being heavily sedated) and said she was hungry and thirsty. She lived several years longer with few major health problems. The doctors did not know what to say.
Grandpa was in hospice twice and recovered both times.
I guess my point is that even the doctors really don't know how a person will react to an illness.
Wendell, post: 332774, member: 1 wrote: They just gave her last rites a little while ago. She had a massive heart attack this morning. I'm flying down there in the morning.
Hang in there Wendell - glad you can be there for her..You're both in my prayers...
That priest must have scared her straight while administering the last rites. My father-in-law received last rites on three different occasions over the years. Third time was the last time.
I'm thinking of you an hope you find the support and comfort you need.
Dear, Angel and Wendell:
You and your family are in my prayers! Aloha!
^ Look Angel, "the fix is in"!! With Yswami and his crew getting on board, Mom will be out of the hospital in no time at all.
Quick update:
Today has been a HELL of a day. Mom took a turn for the worse and is in ICU. She had another small heart attack last night. And today, her blood pressure kept dropping and finally it was just too much for the regular nurses to handle. I was watching the monitor and I told Wendell "Watch, this time its down to 70/44. They're going to run in here within 2 minutes and move her." Sure enough, they did. Besides all of that, her "bowels" are just non-stop and she is so embarrassed by it. 🙁 Her veins are also starting to blow.
I am here spending the night. Her heart is at 25%. The doc had "The Talk" with me. If we can get her stable, and her blood pressure back up for 24 hours, then we can take her home on hospice and I can take care of her. Fortunately she is in no pain. The heart attacks are silent sans some heartburn and sweating. She's been alert and yacking up a storm, telling me my boobs are too big, my flannel shirt that I wear is ugly, etc...And laughs at the food stash I had accumulated. Mom drank å? of her Nephro, had a piece of my cheese muffin and is now looking at photos of when she was a little girl, her siblings, etc... and smiling. I asked her if she can remember when those photos were taken and she said "Yes, vividly." And goes on to tell me the story behind it.
Mom also said..."You aren't going home anytime soon. I need you here to take care of me. " So I guess she realizes I am capable now. She got to talk to her sister in New York and that made her day.
The nurse's love me...I made a few friends around here. When they moved mom from the reg room to ICU, they hid my recliner for me while we changed rooms and then we rolled it into moms room. Normally one cannot stay on ICU here but they said "You seem to know what you are doing so we aren't worried." Mom has told me "Wow these people around here LIKE you. They come in to tell me so." Feels weird to hear that kinda talk but hey I'll take it. :angel:
Hope fully I can get some sleep. ICU is surprisingly way more quiet and calm then the regular floor. :-X
On a funny note...the room has a shower with these petal things that turn on the water. Well when I walked in I didn't see them and so guess who stepped on them and sprayed water everywhere...machines even got it! Egads... Fortunately it wasn't a lot and mom said it felt good after she realized it wasn't a sprinkler going off due to a fire! :woot:
Anyhow, I knew some of you were wondering what was going on and that's is what's going on for now. 😐
Angel, post: 333112, member: 100 wrote: Quick update:
Today has been a HELL of a day.
(snip)
Anyhow, I knew some of you were wondering what was going on and that's is what's going on for now. 😐
Reading between the lines, I do believe she is PROUD OF YOU.
You be strong Angel.
Oh, kiddo. Please keep these updates coming. We have you guys in our arms.
Angel, post: 332947, member: 100 wrote: Plus my mother can be difficult. They meet me and thank me lol.
Gawd! You have no idea about difficult. I could tell you stories that would have you in laughing fits. They weren't funny at the time but, my sister and I would laugh so hard, telling each other the stories that happened on one another's watch. My father had a few minor strokes and then one massive one in '95 or '96. This left him partially paralyzed on one side but, still slowly mobile, which led to every manner of calamity.
He had to be cared for by us and spent a few years living with my sister, until he became too unmanageable for her, when she brought him to me to care for in his remaining years until he passed in '06.
It was always a crazy house. Dad was an alcoholic, as was his dad who passed from the side effects, and it was a constant battle to ferret out his stash and remind him, he wasn't able to drink any more (save one or two occasions when he was monitored) like he was used to. Dad wasn't dissuaded by our constant reprimands and would regularly find a liquor store that would deliver, con a neighbor or maintenance man into driving him to, or picking him up, some of the little bottles of wine he would consume.
That doesn't seem too bad, and by and large he would do alright until the next day when, for some reason, he would have fainting spells or seizures for some reason.
My sister and I had both had to bring him to the emergency room for stitches when he had hit his head on the floor or counter during one of these spells. It was always a constant state of latent worry when Dad was left alone during the day while we worked.
It may have been the blood thinners the doctor prescribed for him, a day when my sister and bil had come home from work the entire front porch was covered in drops of blood and gauze and bandage wrappers. Not knowing what to expect they walked in the front door and there was Dad covered damn near tip to toe in bandages.
Apparently a neighbor had rung the bell and when Dad answered the door and went onto the porch he had a spell and fell into the rose bushes by the door. Luckily the neighbor who rang the doorbell was a nurse and managed to patch him up. Trip hazards were a constant sense of worry at the house.
Then there was the time my bil had a message on his phone when he returned from lunch: "Don't worry, the fire department just left. Everything is fine."
Dad had apparently left a cigarette burning somewhere, but wasn't sure where. Sis came home from work early and found every drawer, pillow, mattress, sofa, and chair cushion strewn all over the house from the fire department search.
Not sure how it worked at sis's house but, I had slowly morphed into the "wine nazi" and the "bread nazi" over some period of time. Dad would always grumble about my cooking, and I would leave a tupperware of leftovers for him to pop into the microwave for lunch.
One thing Dad was still able to do was make a sandwich, which he loved for lunch instead of my cooking. He liked the white bread, and I would make it a point to buy the whole grains, wheat or pumpernickel(which he did like occasionally) for health reasons, white bread isn't good for the health.
To make things more democratic in the household, I would take Dad with me on the shopping trips..giant source of calamity.
Dad tired easily and long walks through the store were out of the question, so he got the Lark scooters the supermarket provided for elderly and infirm.
That didn't make things any better. It was a long tirade of curses when he couldn't find this, or couldn't reach that. Then the crashes and the time he took out an entire end display of Wick's Two Alarm chili, and drove off cursing while I spent the next ten minutes rounding up the fifty to one hundred little packets of chili and repairing the cardboard display. I could still hear him cursing two aisles over.
I could go on forever with these stories but, i'll leave it alone. I can sympathize. I wish you and Wendell some peace and comfort at this time.
