It is so easy to find out about people and their lives and their past on the Internet today. A simple name search, with some refinements, and the application of research skills which we all have as surveyors, will yield a harvest of information that is astonishing.
Here's a situation.
Forty years ago, I had a friend and a coworker, another young surveyor, who was cheating on his wife. I was close to both of them, but I liked her more. He was a surly and unfriendly person who was difficult to like, but I tried, and mostly succeeded, because we worked together every day. He was the instrument man and I was the head chainman on a four man crew. Our Party Chief (just reminiscing here) was a long-haired bohemian with creative abilities that were reflected in his field notes to the extent that they were more artistry than illustration, although they perfectly depicted our efforts and our production as a crew. Anyway...
My friend Bill (I'll call him Bill, although his name was Mel) became disenchanted with his wife when she put on a little weight after delivering their son. I still found her, in all innocence, an enchanting woman. I was married then to the same lovely person I'm married to today.
Things got so difficult between them that Sally (I'll call her Jill), would no longer have him in her house. I sided with Jill completely, although I maintained my friendship with Bill, such as it was.
Jill didn't want to give up entirely on Bill and she would call me frequently, as his only friend, to ask what he was doing; trying to find out, really, what his feelings were for her. These were heartfelt conversations and I felt very close to her at the time. They eventually divorced. My wife and I moved on and I haven't spoken to Jill since then.
Today, for no reason that I can imagine, I thought of her and I began to wonder what had become of her. With the resources provided by the Internet and a small amount of time, I now know her new name, who her husband is, his job, where she lives, what her house is worth, who her children are and that she has been happily remarried for more than thirty years.
This is a woman in her mid-sixties (as am I), who I had very nearly forgotten, and maybe I'll forget her again; probably will, since I don't even really know her any more.
But still...
I am happy to have learned so much more about her because I think I'll always feel an affection for her, but I am really questioning whether my simple, spontaneous investigation was an intrusion into her life.
Do you think?
This is a serious question and I've struggled with it. Is it my place (or right), at this point, to know so much about her life? In the past, before the web, she would have remained just a faded memory.
Just so you know, I have no intention of contacting her. I have no desire to, plus I think that would unquestionably be an intrusion.
I know you guys on Facebook would have probably already worked out all these issues and "friended" her and be big companions by now. Technology has once again left me in the dust, I'm afraid. I am as socially unadapted as I am professionally.
It's sad, really, but the question remains, doesn't it? Just asking,
Don
I agree. There are benefits, but it is intrusion of privacy. The government is now using drones that can watch us in our homes. There is no privacy anymore.
I agree Don, the information that is available at our fingertips is mind-boggling.
I really don't think that there is any more information available, just the speed of it's availability. There's always been public records, phonebooks, tax rolls and voter i.d. Except now, we can retrieve and digest wheelbarrow loads while sitting comfortably in our jammies.
I, too, feel a little left behind by techno-voodoo, but it's by my choice. And I don't fear it. My grandfather knew what a V-8 was, but I doubt he knew what fuel injection was. Just like those before me I'm sure I'll slip into oblivion...happy about what I do know...and happy knowing what I don't know.
I agree it is total intrusion into one's privacy.
However, every thing you found out is all public record.
Some things I don't believe shoulbe be so easily "findable".
If I've done bad things, no problem.
It's no one's business but mine, who I marry, how many kids I have and their names.
A little searching more and you would find out where they live. That is, if they own the place. And that is no one's business but mine.
You are absolutely right Don. I just Google'd your name and came up with a bunch of stuff like your arrest record.....
OK. Just kiddin'. It was mostly just Surveyconnect.com stuff. But back to the subject, it's one reason why I'd rather stay anonymous. Once you post or share online, it's there forever. Somewhere, it's there.
I have used all sorts of similar research tools to learn much about people who have been dead for decades or centuries. It is downright amazing what can be found on people who probably felt they were somewhat invisible during their lifetimes.
“I am happy to have learned so much more about her because I think I'll always feel an affection for her, but I am really questioning whether my simple, spontaneous investigation was an intrusion into her life.”
How could that be an intrusion? No contact was made. When a natural siege of curiosity occurs, and you have the tools available to satisfy it you do so. I suspect you are a person of high moral character and feel that you may have “cheated” on your wife by researching an old “acquaintance. (or flame, or chick, or main squeeze, or whatever in hell they are called today). Besides I do it all the time too, so it’s ok.;-)
Have a great weekend! B-)
It's a secret
I would tell you, Don; what I think. But I can't; it's a secret....
😉
