a funny story if yo...
 
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a funny story if you've been married most of your life

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(@paden-cash)
Posts: 11088
Topic starter
 

Setting:?ÿ My wife and I sitting in our 'old peoples' chairs' in front of the TV.?ÿ I'm reading a book; the wife is thumping on her tablet, no doubt posting something earth-shattering on FB.

She asks, "What was the name of that movie where the girl hurled green on the priest and her head twisted all the way around?"

I didn't even look up as I answered, "The Exorcist, the girl was played by Linda Blair."?ÿ

My wife's retort, "Why do you always answer me like that??ÿ Do you always have to add some smart ass little tid-bit to every answer to questions I ask??ÿ My gawd, it's like being married to Cliff Clavin on Cheers.?ÿ You drive me nuts some times.?ÿ Just once I'd really like to get just one answer to one question that I ask.?ÿ Would that really be so hard?"?ÿ

"Sorry, I guess it's just my nature...", I apologized for doing absolutely nothing wrong..still without looking up from my book.

My wife, "You got me so rattled I forgot the name of the movie!?ÿ What was the movie's name again?"

My reply, "Rosemary's Baby...".

My wife, "Thank you, now that wasn't so hard was it?".

?ÿ

 
Posted : July 23, 2020 6:13 pm
(@bill93)
Posts: 9834
 

Now you're in for it.?ÿ Somebody on FB will correct her and she'll chew on you for being so certain about the wrong answer.

 
Posted : July 23, 2020 6:24 pm
(@holy-cow)
Posts: 25292
 

My dear wife has a bumper sticker pinned to her bulletin board that reads, "When I married Mr. Right, I didn't know his first name was Always".

 
Posted : July 23, 2020 7:14 pm
(@nate-the-surveyor)
Posts: 10522
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Next, tell her "Amityville Horror".

But, I've forgot the details....

 
Posted : July 24, 2020 3:39 pm
(@holy-cow)
Posts: 25292
 

So far as I know we are not related.

https://www.maxpreps.com/athlete/always-wright/ygkkFrYGEeiAxKkkK9HIDg/photo/thumbnails.htm

 
Posted : July 24, 2020 4:55 pm
(@dave-karoly)
Posts: 12001
 

Do all wives think the wedding ceremony automatically confers mind reading capability with respect to gifts?

took me 20 years to cure her of that.

 
Posted : July 25, 2020 1:26 pm
(@dougie)
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Posted : July 25, 2020 1:39 pm
(@jules-j)
Posts: 727
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I think he's right handed. ?????ÿ

 
Posted : July 25, 2020 5:09 pm
(@flga-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2)
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Posted : July 28, 2020 5:39 am
(@nate-the-surveyor)
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In heaven, we will be without sin. We will also be able to understand women, (and women us).

And, according to the book, there is no more marriage either.

So, I figure we'd best love the imperfect creature we are married to, and give thanks. It's what I do.

Thanks,

Nate

 
Posted : July 28, 2020 5:47 pm
(@dave-karoly)
Posts: 12001
 

I don't think understanding women is all that it is cracked up to be.

 
Posted : July 28, 2020 6:17 pm
(@holy-cow)
Posts: 25292
 
download
 
Posted : July 28, 2020 6:52 pm
(@dave-lindell)
Posts: 1683
 

We had a chainman where I used to work who always said, "I know what women want.?ÿI've been married four times!"

I doubt if he even multiplied the years he was married to each that it would add up to my wife and I (55 years next month).

 
Posted : July 28, 2020 6:52 pm
(@dave-karoly)
Posts: 12001
 

@dave-lindell

We also have an August anniversary.  37 years.  We were just kids 37 years ago.  She puts cookies in my lunch everyday, if that's not love, I don't know what is.

I know a few men who can't retire, too many ex-wives to support LOL.

 
Posted : July 29, 2020 5:05 am
(@dave-karoly)
Posts: 12001
 

@holy-cow

That's the Reader's Digest version.

 
Posted : July 29, 2020 5:06 am
(@mightymoe)
Posts: 9920
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I grew up with a father who became an avid golfer after coming back from WW2. When I was young he would have me tag along and about 2nd and 3rd grade he ran the local golf course during the summer. I of course became a fairly decent golfer until my early 20's when I more or less stopped playing.?ÿ

Then SWMBO wanted to start playing cause one of her friends was taking it up. They went and took lessons and started playing a couple of times a week. So I find myself signed up with a local course and going out with them. They were newbies which in my advanced age was fine, when I was younger I couldn't play with hackers, but now it's not too bad as long as they will stay quiet when I try to hit!!!!

So the two of them were taking lessons but asking me for advice, I would try and stay out of giving any, I'd learned enough about women by then to figure out it was best to keep my mouth shut.?ÿ

One thing I did tell SWMBO was that she had to turn more, rotate her shoulders and hips. Sooo......

She is hitting the ball better and she tells me that the pro told her, "I have to rotate and turn more, that was so helpful".

I guess telling her she had to turn and rotate more was different than telling her she had to rotate and turn more.?ÿ

?ÿ

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?ÿ

 
Posted : July 29, 2020 6:14 am