I shanked an old man on aisle 3 and stole it.
Cripes, how old was he? I mean we ain??t spring chickens ourselves.
Reminds me of my 88 year Mother, who drove like a bat out a hell, yelling at all the ??old fart? people that can??t drive. ?????ÿ
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Close but no cigar.?ÿ Just up the road in Corvallis.?ÿ
GO BEAVS
P.s.?ÿ We always said we were the model for said Eugene fraternal organization.?ÿ We were finally semi-disbanded (upper classes told to leave) in a horrific inter-fraternal trial for a long list of grievances related the consumption of said coolers content.?ÿ Apparently the university administration / Corvallis police department did not approve of our standing Tuesday and Thursday parties nor the shenanigans that followed.
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For some weird reason this reminded me of the Charmin TV commercials from 55 years ago featuring the store owner Mr. Whipple chastising customers who were so attracted to the softness of the Charmin toilet paper they would stand around squeezing it in his store. His famous line was "Don't squeeze the Charmin."
That led to this classic song. By coincidence their was a girl in my school whose name was Sharman. Any boy who dated her was warned to not squeeze her.
Due to the shortage of TP, I've decided to grow my own.
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Next up: bacon.
I remember the Charmin commercials! I was just a little kid, but my grandparents and I would laugh at it. Then when they'd take me grocery shopping, we'd always "Squeeze the Charmin." Then we'd get Thriftys ice cream. Ahhh the good ol' days. 😳
PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
I've had one of these for 6 years. ?ÿ Let them eat their Charmin...??.
https://washlet.totousa.com/product/c200
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Saw a cartoon on Youtube earlier showing several aliens chatting.?ÿ One asks, "What happened to all of the Earthlings?"?ÿ Another replies, "They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out."
But there are alternatives.
Goodness me, I can't think of anything to beat that. FWIW on behalf of myself (and perhaps, with all due respect to that primate in FL) congrats.
Saw a meme earlier showing cops arresting a fellow after stopping his car.?ÿ As they are cuffing him you can see about a dozen rolls of TP on the hood of his car.?ÿ He was being arrested for "possession of crack paraphernalia".
Another TP meme showed an older lady in a white tee shirt.?ÿ The caption said although they couldn't put their finger on it, there was something not right about this woman after she came out of the store bathroom.?ÿ I think it was because you could see through her shirt enough to make out the fact she had made off?ÿ with two rolls of TP such that she had a much different silhouette than earlier.
Was in a grocery store, a dollar store and a convenience store today.?ÿ None had so much as one roll of TP.?ÿ I was just looking to see as we have enough to last another week.?ÿ The clerk at the grocery said a supply truck had arrived first thing in the morning.?ÿ Within two hours all of the TP was gone despite limiting one package per customer.?ÿ That's how fast the word got around.
Yeah, we're down to a few rolls and I made a mental note yesterday that I need to keep my eyes open. I was at the drug store this afternoon for an Rx and noticed a few of packages on a usually empty shelf. I grabbed one 12 pack. The clerk said the truck came at noon. This was at 4 PM.
We, of the advanced Simian troupe, are far more progressive then you hairless pink things of the Homo Sapien genus. We prefer to be Hygienically spotless upon completion of necessary bodily functions. Those round white things you treasure more than your children are of no importance to us, except tp "pat dry".
What is that thing Christ posted? Looks like a razor or a spatula. Whatever it is I ain't using it. Just as soon drag my butt in the grass like the dog. ????
@flga
It's a spatula, normally used for mixing cake ingredients. Opposable thumbs might be needed.
TP is long gone everywhere but your standard picnic napkins are readily abundant.?ÿ Pretty sure they will cover the same territory with respectable service, if needed.
picnic napkins
Just have your plumber's phone number handy.?ÿ Unless of course, you still have the little shack out back.?ÿ The one that was always 100 feet too far from the house in winter and 100 feet too close to the house in summer.*
*heard while a band introduced a song.
The fellow who started construction of what is now my house was a bachelor constructing his dream home. That dream included no running water in the house. He dug a rather deep hole in the ground, placed one of those frames that are technically a sick room chair (or something like that) directly over the hole, stacked enough small square bales of straw to support a few sheets of roofing tin overhead and provide some degree of privacy and VOILA he had his bathroom. It met his simplistic needs. Fortunately, he filled in the hole on his last day before moving away.
