A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was
sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling
each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly
in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's
ultimate enemy was in his presence..
So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'
The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'
'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.
'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.
'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.
'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.
'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all
eternity?' persisted Satan.
'Yep,' was the calm reply.
'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.
'Nope,' said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'
The man calmly replied,
'Been married to your sister for 48 years. '
Dated the younger sister for a few months back in '87. She could even do the head spinning thing like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
My ex-wife and I split up for religious reasons....
I'm a Methodist and she was the devil.:-D
Dude - you almost got me going there. Some things are
better off left unsaid. Kinda like saying the only
satin in me comes out my butt. Did I really just type that?
:excruciating:
This fellow was going to a Halloween party dressed as the devil on a Wednesday night. His car started acting up and he was able to coax it to a church before it finally died. The parking lot is full of cars, so he figures someone inside can help him. In full costume, he opens the church doors. People see him and scatter everywhere. In the back pew, there was one woman that couldn't get away because her dress hangs on the pew. As the man walks up to try to explain himself, she screams, "I've been a member of this church for 40 years, but I want you know that I've really been on your side the whole time!"
A friend of mine told me this:
My wife is not the devil, but when she gets up in the morning, if you listen really close, you can hear the devil saying "Oh crap, she's awake".
James
Wish us guys could tell which was which ................
