Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
using a Q & A format:
Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China ..
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
4) Beer, or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. tdd
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I laughed,
and then I cried.
As strange as it seems, that is good advice. When I was on a city counsel in the mid 70's I got in trouble when I opposed the request of the League of Oregon City's request to pass a resolution to support their attempt to continue the Federal Revenue Sharing program. That program had strings attached that required those receiving the money to set up local bureaucracies similar to the feds and when those things were entrenched in local governments the Revenue Sharing was stopped. Having pointed this out and also stating that sending Washington a dollar and then having them send a dime back was not a good deal I found myself crosswise with the others. Most thought it was a good deal because it was money they did not need to budget or collect locally. The American people have been played like a fiddle for years now, it is reaching critical mass. Will we be self centered and continue with the status quo or be strong and wise enough to change direction. I tend to be glad that I am an old fart and it won't really matter to me much longer because I have little faith in the wisdom or strength of the American people of today.
jud
Im thinking I'll just take some money from the wifes purse (for services rendered) to get a new tattoo, then go home and get smacked around like a prostitute (for getting the tattoo, while the wife claims she didn't get her moneys worth) all the while watching the game while drinking a six pack. Sounds american to me.;-)
Ted, You Have My Address
So just send me a check and cut out the government middleman.
Paul in PA
No so fast Ted...
Actually, we only get about 15% of our Crude Oil and Products out of the Persian Gulf.
http://www.eia.doe.gov/dnav/pet/pet_move_impcus_a2_nus_ep00_im0_mbbl_m.htm
Our "biggest" supplier of Crude Oil (and products) is Canada, followed (at a distance) by Mexico.
Loyal
