Office manager has left for the day, so I help out with phone calls when I can.
Me: Hello, this is Andy at PPI, how can I help you?
Her: I need to talk to Joe Smith.
Me: I'm sorry, there is nobody here named Joe Smith.
Me: This is PPI, are you sure you called the right number?
Her: Is there somebody else that can help me?
Me: Help you with what?
Her: I'm trying to reach Joe Smith.
Me: I'm sorry, there is no Joe Smith here.
Her: Can I speak to someone in Human Resources or Payroll
Me: I'm sorry, that is in our Houston office.
Her: Can you transfer me?
Me: I'm sorry, that is a different office. I can not transfer you.
Her: Well, I'm just trying to get ahold of Joe Smith.
Me: I'm sorry, there is no Joe Smith here.
Her: Well fine, I'll just tell the lawyer.
Must be close to a full moon or they're putting crack in the drinking water, because this is not the first idiot I've dealt with today.
Very interesting. Should have told her you needed to know if he had any nicknames, like Stub or Junior or Ladiesman or SweetDumplin? Then tell her again that no one named Smith works there. Either that or check if she really wants Josephine or Jose or Josephus or JoJo or J-Dog McSmithizzle.
I think she thought I was covering for him. I had to double check the office phone list to make sure we didn't have a new employee or something, but nobody matching that name. That has to be the longest ever I have been on the phone with someone after telling them that the person they are looking for ain't at this number. Most people would say thanks and hang up.
A man calls a lawyer's office.
The phone is answered "Hello, this is Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz."
The man says, "Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz."
"I'm sorry, he's on vacation for the week."
"Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz."
"He's in a conference and can't be disturbed."
"Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz."
"He's playing golf this afternoon."
"Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz."
"Speaking."
*Facepalm*
Told Andy privately of a similar call that I heard about. Someone in a court case gave false employment info and the company had problems as a result. Answering calls and letters from attorney and the court. Don't remember the details think it cost the company money to get out of the situation.
Wasn't that Youngman s bit?
That Henny Youngman.
We have a fire phone here at our house. If the 911 system goes down the original emergency number still rings at our house and at the fire station.
One day I get a call on the fire phone:
me: "Fire Department"
caller: "I am looking for Joe Smith" (I don't remember what name they used but Joe will do.)
me: "We can help you with that, How long has he been missing?"
caller: "Excuse me?"
me: "We can help you with that, How long has he been missing and what was his last known location?"
caller: "Oh he is not missing?"
me: "Then why are you calling the Fire Dept?"
In my defense, the caller ID showed an 800 number. I would not have done that to someone local.
James
Knock, knock, knock
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Dave. Open up the door."
"Who?"
"Dave, man, Dave! Open up the door! I think the cops saw me come in here."
"Dave's not home."
