So..... My neighbor has been complaining that my dog has been barking non-stop. I hate the electric bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it. Last night I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella. I begin to become curious as to ??how? the collars actually work. So I'm standing by my back door "barking" at the dog's collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I'm not quite sure why I thought this would be a good idea, but I did...I put the collar on. I seriously attached the band around my neck and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face. I began coughing, which only caused the collar to continue squirting bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity. I'm now on my hands and knees in the yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, my dog is barking. So between coughing and yelling at her to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to become welded shut during this whole fiasco. I finally get the collar off and threw that torture thing across the yard, and laid in the grass sucking in the fresh air. In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! Jerry was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to come over there, you'd set it off again and then I would start laughing and couldn't make it." So now, not only are my eyes red and swollen but im mortified too.
Lesson learned: if you ever want to test one of these make sure that:
1. You don??t fill the collar before trying to set it off.
2. Remember the neighbor is not a good source of help in a crisis situation.
On the plus side, We won??t have a mosquito problem for a few days!
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Even though this does sound like something I might do, it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same!! WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING BAD IN THE WORLD ITS NICE TO READ SOMETHING LIKE THIS & LAUGH SO HARD!!!lol.....had to copy
Well, before I got to the point of "full disclosure", I was about to reprimand you for not also putting on a body cam to capture the fun and let us laugh along with "your neighbor".
Or perhaps at least accuse you of being closely related to our other fun loving member who refuses to let us get a first hand look at his antics.......
That's hilarious. I began to wonder if it was something you had read. I don't think you have any neighbors that could hear your dog bark...if you have one, 😉
A number of years ago my youngest son had purchased a cheapy backyard propane grill for his frat house. He was over at my place borrowing screwdrivers and pliers to get it assembled. Digging through the pieces he came up with the push-button-spring-loaded piezoelectric spark mechanism...and wondered out loud about how it worked. His reasoning (typical Cash boy) was if it makes a spark it's either got a battery or it's a piece of flint or similar. I cautioned him with his reasoning...Sure enough, he pinched the end with two fingers on one hand and the pushed the button with the other. The result was predictable.
I offered him a dry pair of britches but he didn't think he had peed enough to show. He waited 'til he got home to change.
I laughed my ass off.
I think you should have posted this in humor instead 🙂
Almost pissed myself
As I was reading, my thought went to what you must have done to be visited by such an ample supply of karma.
"push-button-spring-loaded piezoelectric spark mechanism"
Yep, all of us know exactly what that is. 😉
I lernt it at da "Evelyn Woodhead" school of graemr, prononce, an spellin semianer.
Full disclosure:
I do not have a dog because the 18 cats took a vote and the majority nixed the idea. (No house cats allowed)
Both neighbors have two dogs each.
Very congenial neighborhood.
One neighbor mows our lawn for a fee.
Other neighbor has a huge garden and shares the bounty routinely.
Our only complaint happens twice each year when the neighbor to the north weans calves by penning them about 150 feet from our bedroom with their mothers complaining as loudly as the calves. The associated racket disturbs my wife's sleep which makes her grumpy, which irritates yours truly. I sleep through the bovine complaining with no problem. The spousal complaining is not welcomed.
Holy Cow, post: 454094, member: 50 wrote: ..I sleep through the bovine complaining with no problem..
Here's about 5% of what you're missing...although I'm sure you've heard it many times before..
[MEDIA=youtube]LejCxDKqoww[/MEDIA]
paden cash, post: 454098, member: 20 wrote: Here's about 5% of what you're missing...although I'm sure you've heard it many times before..
[MEDIA=youtube]LejCxDKqoww[/MEDIA]
Lol. That was good. Reminded me of the guy that wanted to test a tazer on his leg and couldn't stop it. Thanks!
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