Last week I was parked on the shoulder in a fairly rural area (3 or 4 residents per mile).?ÿ I started scratching gravel out of a hole in the middle of the road in hopes of finding a re-bar marking the quarter corner.?ÿ A golden retriever from the closest house took interest in me and was 'sounding the alarm' from the other side of the ditch.?ÿ As usual I started talking to him.?ÿ He settled down and walked out to me to catch a sniff and get a pat of the head.?ÿ
He stood guard while I took a shot on the quarter corner.?ÿ I told him he was a "goo-boy" as I was laying my gear in the bed of the truck.?ÿ Then I was startled by a human that had snuck up the drive...the dog's owner, no doubt...
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to my dog", he said in a monotone.?ÿ I could tell he was a grump right off the bat.?ÿ I probably should have been nicer, but his remark took me back a bit.
"You need to talk to your dog about that, mister.?ÿ He's the one that struck up the conversation with me", I told him.
He called me 'a wise guy'.?ÿ I thanked him for his compliment as I was climbing back in my truck.?ÿ He mumbled and turned to walk back down his drive to the house.?ÿ The dog had to come over by me for one last pat on the head. "Now go lay down!", I said firmly.
The old geezer stopped and firmly reiterated he had asked me not to talk to his dog....I told him I wasn't talking to his dog.
I didn't get to see the look on his face as I drove off.?ÿ ?ÿ
?ÿ
One million attaboys are hereby awarded to the smartbutt of the week.?ÿ Great work.
?ÿ
Reminded me of a time about 25 years ago when a nice little miniature Collie came out to make my acquaintance while set up on a quarter corner bar in the middle of a county road that was going to be improved in the near future.?ÿ It was too lonely and craved attention.?ÿ He accidentally bumped the total station one too many times, so I told him to go to the house.?ÿ He pretended not to understand me.?ÿ So, I gave him a little tap on the nose with my notebook.?ÿ No big deal.?ÿ No harm intended.?ÿ But, that somehow set off his sneeze reflex............for about the next ten minutes.?ÿ No joke.?ÿ The poor thing couldn't stop sneezing.?ÿ Made me feel like the biggest bully in the valley.?ÿ FINALLY he stopped.
"You need to talk to your dog about that, mister.?ÿ He's the one that struck up the conversation with me", I told him.
???? ????ÿ
...I told him I wasn't talking to his dog.
????
Double dog dare you to go back out there today..... ?ÿ (see what I did there?)
Heard a similar story about a car in a grocery story parking lot, an angry barking dog, a husband, an ill tempered wife, and the phrase "you need to put a muzzle on that b***h".?ÿ ?ÿ?ÿ
Added to the memoir.?ÿ
?ÿ
