My wife and I were babysitting for a young lady that is a friend of the family. Her baby is 6 months old and cute as can be. Her boyfriend (the baby's dad) split in the last week or so, so she's having a tough time. Joyce called me into the bathroom while she was getting the baby ready for a bath. The poor child has TWO cigarette burns on her stomach. One is just below the naval and looks fresh and the other is above and to the right of the naval and appears to be mostly healed over. I took pictures of the burns and then confronted the young mother. She claims the dad was changing a diaper and dropped some ashes on the baby. First of all, ashes don't burn, the fire does. Second, it had to have happened at two different times. I told little mother to go directly to the Dept. of Family and Children Services and report it. She blew that off and changed the subject. She came and got the baby later that day and wouldn't talk about it. I begged and pleaded for a few days to get that thug arrested. She quit answering my calls or messages. Now that made me wonder if she knows more than she was telling or maybe even had something to do with it. I told her if she didn't make the call, I would. No reply. So I made the call and was promptly given the third degree for not turning it in immediately. Of course, I thought the threat was gone since the boyfriend had left. Not until something "smelled funny" did I call. I felt like choking the idiot at DFCS for the tone of voice and attitude she gave me. I do feel guilty for falling for her story but they didn't have to treat me like that. I guess I just need to vent, but did I handle this in the appropriate manner? Should I have turned it in immediately? I feel mighty gullible right now. I'm no fan of DFCS anyway since they usually make things worse or don't act at all...
Better late than never. Any abuse that child suffers is not any fault of yours.
If you think you waited a long time, wait and see how slowly the state agency moves.
You've done the right thing. Stand your ground and be satisfied with your actions.
Don't beat yourself up. You may well have saved this child's life.....depends upon how it works out.
Nowadays, this kind of thing is taken a lot more seriously than it used to be, and reporting it IMMEDIATELY is ALWAYS the best course.
Look at it this way: What's the worst that could have happened? You might have made a mistake, and they're ticked off at you.
If the abuse is real, this child needs to be protected, and this mother needs to be counseled.
As for the errant smoker.........there is no penalty too severe.
It was a difficult decision to make, we all want to trust and believe our friends. You thought the threat was gone, you gave the woman time to report it herself, and you did report it when it was clear she wasn't going to do it.
You did good.
6 month old babies need SOMEONE to watch over them. If not the mother or father, then who?
I'm with the majority here... Better late than never.
Just a side comment. I'll assume that it's a given that both parents smoke, so that one or the other can't be eliminated from consideration? Not having been there, did you notice that the ashes comment came a little too quickly? You are a surveyor, but you must have a little investigative nerve in there too... I think all us surveyors do. I know you wanted to believe her, but what does your gut say?
Stand for that little baby like you would a property. Take the side of what is right, and what facts are present, rather than someone with a vested interest in not being caught.
I know that sounds a little cheezy what I just said, but you get my gist.
I hope all turns out well for the baby and she gets the protection she needs.
Good call Stacy
That agency is going to berate you or anyone that calls, it is their tone.
Everybody can be of knowledge to the fact and is suspect when they get into the picture, you just have to get ready for the drill.
It is a necessary viewpoint to protect children.
you did the right thing. Thank You.
It's all about the kids, the rest is just Bling, ignore it.
Thanks again, Peter
Stacy, she did play you
But most child abusers and their enablers get very good at playing people. "She just fell"; "he broke a glass and cut himself"; "She turned on the hot water while I was getting her a towel". Do not feel bad about falling for her. DSS will always consider the person reporting a suspect, it is their nature. At least you turned her in before the child was permanently injured. That we can all be thankful for.
Employees at the Department of Family and Children Services have a thankless job. Step in to quick and they risk trampling somebody’s civil liberties. Wait too long and some 6-month old gets beat to death and it’s their fault.
They’ve heard it all before, so they’ve probably developed the same attitude as most law enforcement officers I know: "Everybody is guilty of something. I just don’t know what it is yet."
You did the right thing, but if you’re looking for affirmation, you’ll probably have to be content with the thanks you’re getting here. It’s unlikely you’ll ever get it from DFCS or the mother.
> If you think you waited a long time, wait and see how slowly the state agency moves.
>
Amen to that!
I think it is in your good nature to want to believe the mother. As others are saying, better late than never.
Could have ended up like this poor baby. Her mother didn’t even protect her from this scum bag.
