A bit of humor for those of us heading to the polls tomorrow

Seen on and stolen from Facebook:

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the
pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second,
flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician ... "

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new
system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately
you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however,
you're free to choose where you want to spend eternity!"

"Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell?!" says the
politician. "Those are the rules," replies St Peter, clicks
his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy disappears. He
awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes,
knowing he's in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the
screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds ...
Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And
cut grass, this can't be right?

"Open your eyes!" says a voice. "C'mon, wakey wakey,
we've only got 24 hours!" Nervously, he uncovers his
eyes, looks around, and sees he's in a hotel room. A
nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite ... And
there's a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. "Who
are you??" The politician asks.

"Well, I'm Satan!" says the man, handing him the drink
and helping him to his feet. "Welcome to Hell!"

"Wait, this is Hell? But ... Where's all the pain and
suffering?" he asks.

Satan throws him a wink. "Oh, we've been a bit
misrepresented over the years, it's a long story.
Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free,
as is the room service, there's extra towels next to the
hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But
enough of this! It's a beautiful day, and if you'd care to
look outside ... "

Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man
wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through
which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a
group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf
course.

"It's one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there's
another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach
and harbor!" says Satan, answering his unasked
question.

So they head down in the lift, walk out through the
glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes
the man, as Satan signs autographs and cheerily talks
shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he
sees the group on the golf course are made up of every
one of his old friends, people he's admired for years but
never met or worked with, and people whose work he's
admired but died long before his career started. And out
of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a
massive smile and the body she had when she was 20,
who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate
kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and
as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst
enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He
spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course,
having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying
important discussions, putting the world to rights with
his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him
as she gazes lovingly at him.

Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an
enormous meal, perfectly cooked. As everyone is falling
about laughing and flinging bread sticks at each other,
his wife whispers in his ear ... And they return to their
penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making
love like they did on their honeymoon. After hours of
passion, the man falls deep into the 100å¡/o Egyptian
cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep ...
and is woken up by St Peter.

"So, that was Hell. Wasn't what you were expecting, I
bet?" "No sir!" says the man. "So then," says St Peter.
"You can make your choice. It's Hell, which you saw, or
Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white
robes, and so on."

"Well. .. I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I
think I'd prefer Hell ," says the politician. "Not a problem,
we totally understand! Enjoy!" says St Peter, and clicks
his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of
ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only
noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from
belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged
remains of people being tortured or burning in a
sulfurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals
Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and
grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil
of razor-wire in the other. "What's this??" He cries.
"Where's the hotel?? Where's my wife??? Where's the
minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the
free drinks and the sunshine???"

"Ah", says Satan. "You see, yesterday, we were
campaigning. But today, you voted."