ring ring ring ring

This was from Thursday and Friday, but stuck in my mind.

Thursday:
Attorney: We spoke about a title issue in 2005, can we have a conference call tomorrow to review?
Me: It's going to take me some time to review so I can actually be useful during the call.
Attorney: I am not sure why I did not follow up with this flaw in 2005, but I sent you a note authorizing you to remedy the issue.
Me: I see your note. It was a follow up to a 5-page memo I sent to you outlining the issue. I was confused by your request to "Rectify Engineering Issues" in 2005 and I am no less confused now. You have a title and survey issue here.
Attorney: Well, that was my own language, but I thought you understood.

Friday:
Attorney 1 describes the issues at hand. Bad descriptions and changing descriptions based on common ownership. A guy bought 2+ lots in the 1800s, sold 2+ lots with different shapes later. Too bad the title hunter had a partition to partition based on a description that is different from his surveyor's plan.
Me: OK, so what do you need to certify the title.
Attorney 2: Well a surveyors affidavit would suffice.
Me: OK, well this survey was done by someone else, why don't you have him issue the affidavit? He's already certified the plan.
Attorney 3: He won't return our call.
Me: You realize this could be a real mess to resolve.
Attorney 1: Well, we have a closing in 9 days.
Me: Any chance to postpone.
Attorney 2: Well, we'd rather not.
Me: The areas with the real flaws are within electrical easements and wetlands. You can't develop either location so why not just shave those off the policy?
Attorney 3: Perhaps we will if you could put the deeds on the plan prepared by the other surveyor.
Attorney 2: Can you put the deed to the north on paper?
Me: We already did when we prepared the survey to the north.
Attorney 2: And you are confident with this location?
Me: We specified the assumptions made, but since all the monumentation within the power line easement was destroyed our determination is the best guess at an impossible question. No monuments, no occupation, a wetland described in deeds that was half filled in, typical old wood lots in this area. The other surveyor held our work with the exception of his erroneous use of a NE bearing over our NW bearing that makes a little overlap.
Attorney 1: Well, how much time do you need to review?
Me: Give me a full day next week and we will then be able to estimate when we can resolve this other survey.