Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A: Same middle name
Don't give up your daytime job.?ÿ ??ÿ
How do you order a newlywed salad?
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
lettuce alone
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
GGRROOAANN!!!! ?ÿAnd I love puns.
A heads up for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I have been a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also July 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.
P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each
Large Pooh. Awesome! ??ÿ
What do you call a nose with no body ?
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
No body knows
Here's a "poo" funny:
?ÿ
I was at a City Council meeting one evening.?ÿ The main topic was a sewer main backup and?ÿthe property owner that incurred some damages due to the backup.?ÿ At that point in the meeting we were all watching a video taken by line maintenance of the inside of the main in question.?ÿ Any of you that have endured as many sewer videos as I have knows just how exciting they can be.?ÿ I could hardly stay awake.
At the podium was the City's Line Maintenance Supervisor.?ÿ He was armed with a laser point to designate all the exciting features of a video of a working sanitary sewer main.?ÿ From his actions and his nervous voice I could tell he wasn't comfortable speaking at a Council Meeting.?ÿ At one point something large and brown obscured the camera.?ÿ One of the Council members asked what had blocked the image.?ÿ The speaker nervously searched for words and came up with "influent solids".?ÿ The Council member didn't hear him well and asked "what are fluent solids?"
The Public Works director saw a good chance to move things along by explaining, "We just call them turds."?ÿ I and few others chuckled.?ÿ The Council member realized what he was looking at on the screen and was a little chagrined.?ÿ That was the high spot of an otherwise boring meeting.
This is pretty funny, as poop stories go, especially if you WEREN'T there:
?ÿ
http://www.scarymommy.com/roomba-meets-pile-of-poop-jesse-newton/
