[USER=100]@Angel[/USER]
Some reflections from previous months.
This time of the year can trigger all manner of emotions and reactions that have their origins in former parts of our life.
Some are simple, pleasant memories from those informative years, when the present that we are now enjoying wasn't even on the radar of our youthful vigour.
But there's that sadder, more reflective side, when the loved ones we shared all our lives with, through thick and thin, winging and wincing, laughing and crying, are no longer with us in living form.
Now they are memories, departed but never forgotten.
And how much more real can that be than Christmas and particularly when its that first since our loved one slipped away.
When that penultimate moment is upon us, the caring loving nature of those around us shines brightly, bringing comfort and support in those moments of need.
But as the earth slowly moves through its seasonal cycles the immediate support can seemingly melt away, like a snowman in the midday sun and though we are still supportive those moments of loneliness creep in and we realise once again what has been lost with their passing.
I had Angel in mind when reflecting on this, and though I don't know you, there's a common link that all share in the passing of Their Mum or Their Dad.
I've been through that for both and weathered the storms, when they weren't about to share those special moments or to hear their reproving voice when something was amiss.
When you were going through those emotional months I had been working through some database stuff, and had downloaded an application containing a sample database of some outstanding waterfalls.
One stood out. The Angel Falls, Venezuela.
The sheer beauty was evident in just a photo.
As I read your responses here, I kept thinking of these falls, and how their beauty was actually their past being revealed now.
The actual waterfall we view now, had its origins weeks, months (who knows) before, and yet one can savour that beauty unfold in an ever increasing cascade until it is hidden in the swirling mist and fog rising from below.
Angel, your care and your devotion (to my thinking) shone through those misty moments of your life as it spilled out before you, unable to control its nature but carried along by things instilled in you in those distant times.
And then that moment we never want to experience is upon us, and others gather and support then drift away. It's never deliberate, it just happens. Then it's Christmas and she's missing, my mum is missing.
Thankfully we can move on and come to that place when cherished ones are still appreciated for who they were and still are in us, as we see ourselves doing, saying, being like them.
I know my parents are still alive in me (as my wife and kids remind me) and though I'd love them to be here now I'm content knowing they gave me their best and for that I'm forever greatful.
So this is written, not just for Angel, but for all those whose moms, and dads are not with us this Christmas, and I trust others remember those who like Angel, are perhaps shedding a tear, or a moment of sadness.
A very thoughtful and moving post, Richard. You hit the nail on the head. I also have been through the loss of both parents but could not put in words the feelings to console Angel. You have done well my friend.
Fantastic, Richard. Many of us can use that in our own lives. In my case I have been reflecting on the thoughts from 25 years ago when I had my last Christmas with both parents and my sister and 20 years ago when I had my last Christmas at my parents' home (minus Dad) and six years ago on Christmas Day when my only sibling had a massive heart attack and barely survived. What I knew as a family Christmas for more than two-thirds of my life stopped 20 years ago. Now, I'm the oldest generation present But, today I will be with all three kids and all three grandkids and relishing every moment.
Richard, post: 350656, member: 833 wrote: [USER=100]@Angel[/USER]
Some reflections from previous months.This time of the year can trigger all manner of emotions and reactions that have their origins in former parts of our life.
Some are simple, pleasant memories from those informative years, when the present that we are now enjoying wasn't even on the radar of our youthful vigour.
But there's that sadder, more reflective side, when the loved ones we shared all our lives with, through thick and thin, winging and wincing, laughing and crying, are no longer with us in living form.
Now they are memories, departed but never forgotten.And how much more real can that be than Christmas and particularly when its that first since our loved one slipped away.
When that penultimate moment is upon us, the caring loving nature of those around us shines brightly, bringing comfort and support in those moments of need.
But as the earth slowly moves through its seasonal cycles the immediate support can seemingly melt away, like a snowman in the midday sun and though we are still supportive those moments of loneliness creep in and we realise once again what has been lost with their passing.I had Angel in mind when reflecting on this, and though I don't know you, there's a common link that all share in the passing of Their Mum or Their Dad.
I've been through that for both and weathered the storms, when they weren't about to share those special moments or to hear their reproving voice when something was amiss.When you were going through those emotional months I had been working through some database stuff, and had downloaded an application containing a sample database of some outstanding waterfalls.
One stood out. The Angel Falls, Venezuela.
The sheer beauty was evident in just a photo.
As I read your responses here, I kept thinking of these falls, and how their beauty was actually their past being revealed now.
The actual waterfall we view now, had its origins weeks, months (who knows) before, and yet one can savour that beauty unfold in an ever increasing cascade until it is hidden in the swirling mist and fog rising from below.
Angel, your care and your devotion (to my thinking) shone through those misty moments of your life as it spilled out before you, unable to control its nature but carried along by things instilled in you in those distant times.
And then that moment we never want to experience is upon us, and others gather and support then drift away. It's never deliberate, it just happens. Then it's Christmas and she's missing, my mum is missing.Thankfully we can move on and come to that place when cherished ones are still appreciated for who they were and still are in us, as we see ourselves doing, saying, being like them.
I know my parents are still alive in me (as my wife and kids remind me) and though I'd love them to be here now I'm content knowing they gave me their best and for that I'm forever greatful.So this is written, not just for Angel, but for all those whose moms, and dads are not with us this Christmas, and I trust others remember those who like Angel, are perhaps shedding a tear, or a moment of sadness.
Aww thanks GRADU. I really appreciate that you thought about me. 🙂
I honestly was not sure how I would make it through these next few days. Besides my moms death, there are other issues that have been going on that around here that have been very hurtful and painful to Wendell and I. But...my 8 year old niece came over and it helped me snap out of some of this funk and sadness. I had to get cheery for her and I had fun with her making my moms spaghetti, wrapping presents, shopping, etc...but once she left the sadness rushed in like dark cloud and I cried most of the rest of the day. I feel like I have been through hell and back over the past year or so with the many deaths that I have dealt with. And then losing my momÛ?wellÛ?that I really have no words for how devastating it has been to my life and how much it hurts. It hurts worse than any kind of heartbreak I have experienced in my entire life. Watching my mother suffocate and bleed to death right in front of me with there being nothing I could do to stop it really really really really did a number on me mentally, emotionally and physically. The guilt I have inside because I could not save her rips me apart daily. (And it makes me HATE cigarettes with a passion!) I walk around in a fog; a funk. It is a very strange, empty feeling inside of me knowing that my mom is gone forever and never coming back. I always thought I understood what others were going through when they lost their mom but I really didnÛªt until now. And it sucks. And I never want anyone to have to go through or experience what I am experiencing right now but the facts of life are what they are and sooner or later most of us wind up losing a parent/loved one and have to go through this. I just wish there was an easier way... :'(
I will be ok in time...but in the meantime I will just take things day by day and try to function as best as possible. It's all I can do, really. :-/
Angel,
Mrs. Cow lost her father in June, just one day after his 88th birthday. I have done my best to help her get through this first Christmas without a parent or a home to go to. Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. She really enjoyed being my chauffeur on my journey on Christmas Eve as Santa Claus. That was probably the highlight for her.
Wendell,
Hang in there! It will get better again...........someday.
Angel, words are hard for a guy like me.
We love you.
Brad Ott, post: 350768, member: 197 wrote: Angel, words are hard for a guy like me.
We love you.
:love:
As we get older and face that one way trip, priorities tend to change.
I would rather be remembered with a smile rather than a tear.
Remember the good times. Hold them close. As long as memories remain no one is truly gone.
