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Learning to say no.

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(@spledeus)
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I need to learn to say no. I have asked the wife to give me lessons.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 4:53 am
(@holy-cow)
Posts: 25292
 

Great idea. Consulting an expert is always a good idea.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 5:32 am
 al
(@al)
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Another method is to regress back to your toddler years and get in touch with the 'no' s you used for vegetables, baths, bedtimes etc.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 5:39 am
(@tom-adams)
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spledeus, post: 456112, member: 3579 wrote: I need to learn to say no. I have asked the wife to give me lessons.

come on, don't leave us hanging. How did she respond?

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 6:24 am
(@spledeus)
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Tom Adams, post: 456133, member: 7285 wrote: come on, don't leave us hanging. How did she respond?

She said yes.

My problem is I cannot say no at work. I had a fellow come in with a problem. A different surveyor prepared the site plan and an engineer got the plan approved through zoning, conservation and health. Stating that there are problems with the plans is an understatement and the surveyor went on an extended vacation.

I said, we are busy, but sure, we can perform the layout work based on a site plan that might have been done in CAD but we don't have the CAD. Oh, it's missing a benchmark, well, we will use the existing first floor and tie it back in. Oh, they never measured the top of the septic and the proposed garage slab will result in insufficient coverage over the system? Huh, they never computed the building height of the existing or the proposed and it won't comply without regrading?

So when I tell all of the surveyors they should make more than the engineers because you fix their mistakes, I speak from experience. I have now spent several hours redesigning the site to make it comply with the regulations when all I signed up for was a simple layout of a foundation...

I need to learn to say no.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 6:47 am
(@peter-ehlert)
Posts: 2951
 

^^good response in this case^^
I quit using No as my first response, it slows things down a bit but it doesn't help in the end.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 6:49 am
 John
(@john)
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And once you learn that "NO" word and how to use it, please come here to my company and teach the sales "team" how to use that word.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 6:50 am
(@tom-adams)
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@spledeus Wow there was a story behind that. I though you were making a joke. I was expecting her to have said "no".
It is understandably hard to say no to the aspect of more income and helping someone out in a pinch. I think most of us can relate.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:06 am
(@flga-2-2-2-2-2-2-2-2)
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spledeus, post: 456135, member: 3579 wrote: My problem is I cannot say no at work.

If you are in business for yourself look at how much $ you can make with the aforementioned request. If it is going to be more of a pain in the ass than it's worth tell them you can't handle any more work currently or just say no thank you. Otherwise yer gonna go broke. 😎

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:08 am
(@spledeus)
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FL/GA PLS., post: 456142, member: 379 wrote: If you are in business for yourself look at how much $ you can make with the aforementioned request. If it is going to be more of a pain in the ass than it's worth tell them you can't handle any more work currently or just say no thank you. Otherwise yer gonna go broke. 😎

No. It means I get to work into the late evening and charge for every second of thought on the project.

Thank you for helping me practice saying No.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:14 am
(@matt-mckeegan)
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I was forced to use the word very recently. It was very liberating at the time. Some 'jobs' are nothing but trouble.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:15 am
(@dave-karoly)
Posts: 12001
 

Wife: I want you to get a side job and work more.
Me: No, this I will not do.

Now back to wallpaper removing LOL. Mrs. Fowler (former owner of this house) really loved wallpaper, 3 layers in the breakfast nook, ugly stuff, it's coming down though.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:30 am
(@steve-gilbert)
Posts: 678
 

Watch some Nancy Reagan "Just say No!" videos from the 80's.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 7:59 am
(@daniel-ralph)
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Back in about 1986, Peter Henning a well respected and driven land developer invited me to lunch. We talked about his projects and my job and its workload. That day he taught me that saying no to him and other clients/projects is a virtue that allows me to enjoy my family more, appreciate my job status and most importantly gains respect from my clients. To this day, and it happens more than I should expect, when I say no to a client, I usually give them an alternate professional reference and glance to the sky and tell Peter thanks.

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 8:23 am
(@paden-cash)
Posts: 11088
 

"No" really means "Yes" nowadays. Just ask your elected representative...

 
Posted : 17/11/2017 9:43 am
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