Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass compound bow beginner kits.
Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40hp Farmall tractor tire will take 6 arrows before it goes completely down? Tough sumbitch.
That got boring, so being the 10-year-old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in 2-stroke chainsaw gas and tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.
One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.
I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10 year old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.
So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for dad's muzzle loader rifles).
At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to just sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether)can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a large firecracker you know?
You know what? Screw that, I'm headed back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.
I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2-stroke soaked arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a click as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I simultaneously caught sight of my dad getting out of his truck. OH SH...IT! He just got home from work.
So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.
I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.
When the shock wave hit, it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 decibels of sound.
I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 foot above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.
The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.
So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my dad is now on the side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!
His hat has blown off and is laying 30 ft behind him in the driveway.
All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud rising over our backyard.
I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't remember - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter.
I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for about an hour or so and you get the idea.
I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR, and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.
One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that stump for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
Dad sold his muzzle loader equipment a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
~Author Unknown
ROFLMAO! Now that is funny. I don't care what you say!
That sounds exactly like something I might have done at 10 years old. I was never mean, but I stayed in trouble for doing something crazy all the time.
Andy
I can dig it J, archery is a bunch of fun I shoot in the mornings and evenings most every day recently, this article gave me a few good ideas....of what not to do :-)however, the flaming arrows sound pretty cool.
Funny story.
Now, have you got one about throwing rocks at a back sight set-up??? 😉
Well I had just finished laughing my fool head off at the original post then I read cowboy's and lost it again!
Reminds me of some of the acetylene filled trash bag bombs I have witnessed.
What, what, what did you say, what......
Maybe it was the Welsh thing, Jerry. You just bypassed the longbow phase somehow....
Great story!
I hate to break the news, but without a containment device, black powder is not going to go off. It will just burn, but the ether will do pretty good. Now, if the black powder was down in a hole in a solid stump, we could have a containment device..... Don't ask how I know this. I think I was 13 when I discovered it.
N
