A ??thon
Angel........for cripes sakes give him something to do. ?????ÿ
What's slender, 2.71828 feet long and swims in the water?
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
An 'e'-el.
?ÿ
Not as good as your joke.
What lived millions of years ago, flew, and was easily stretched?
?ÿ
?ÿ
A ptero-ductile.
?ÿ
I may not have been the first, but I invented that joke decades ago.
When it comes to food I'm not much of a connoisseur but more of a common sewer.
Pie is round, cornbread are square.
US survey feet, Imperial, left or right?
A ??thon
They grow bigger outside the US where they are 3.14 meters.
Anybody think we're getting tired of having no place to go? We're getting loony.
Bad joke, 1966. What's purple and conquered the world?
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
?ÿ
Alexander the grape.
I like the double pun, great/grape and?ÿ conquered/Concord grape.
@flga
This is what he does when I am sleeping!! ??? ??? ???
Yesterday he was laughing so hard at his phone he had tears in his eyes. I asked him what could be SO FUNNY on a DAMN PHONE?! Then, today, he starts posting these things. Now I see why. 😐
I do like this one, though... 🙄
How do you put six elephants in a VW Bug??ÿ Three in the back seat and three in the front seat.
Why did the ant have to climb the elephant's leg twice??ÿ He got pissed off on the first attempt.
?ÿ
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her one word: comfortable."
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull."
I recall those jokes were a fad in the 1960's.
How do you put 7 elephants in a VW?
?ÿ
3 in front, 3 in back, and one in the glove compartment.
?ÿ
How do you put 8 elephants in a VW?
3, 3, 1 in the glove compartment, and we forgot to put one in the trunk.
How do you know if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
When you open it you can smell the peanuts on his breath.
?ÿ
How do you know there used to be an elephant in your refrigerator?
You find his footprints in the jelly.
Have you heard about about the kinky statistician?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Turns out standard deviation was not enough for them.?ÿ
"When it comes to food I'm not much of a connoisseur but more of a common sewer."
I can relate, it's hard to treat your body like a temple when your mouths a dumpster. ????
if it has rattles and is on my property, A DEAD SNAKE.
?ÿ
That would be a big one around here.
The old classic:
How does a mathematician solve constipation?
He works it out with a pencil on paper.
